We don't see each other for a while.
It's okay β we're sleeping together, not dating, and even though it's the best sex of my life, we live across the country from each other and we haven't had a conversation about what we're doing, what we are to each other. Or even whether we're dating other people.
I haven't been. I'm busy, with work and the gym and my friends, and besides that, I'm absolutely in her thrall. I've gone on a few dates here and there, but all it takes is a text message from her during dinner and it's over for me; I can't help but jump to answer. I don't know if she feels the same, because I haven't asked her β but I'm trying to keep it uncomplicated, so I won't.
It's been maybe a month and a half or two months, punctuated by regular messaging β nearly every day, but not always intimate. And then one day I see an email pop into my inbox. It's a flight confirmation.
Bold
, I think to myself.
According to this, I'm boarding a flight in a week and a half on a Friday after work, and flying back the following Sunday evening. That's our typical setup; I come for the weekend or she does. Luckily I don't have any plans that I won't be able to move around, but I feel a little huffy that she's being so presumptuous. A few minutes after I receive the flight confirmation, I get another email β it's an e-ticket to a concert. A band I've heard a couple times, some dark alternative rock, on the Saturday evening.
I know she's probably waiting for me to reply in some way, but I refuse to give her the satisfaction of knowing how available I am. I'm at work, so I choose a task and ignore my phone for a while, getting absorbed in finishing it. When I finally come back to my phone an hour later, there's a text from her. I smile despite myself and slide it open.
"Check your email," she says.
"I have," I type back.
She takes a while to type back, and I watch the ellipses as she composes her reply. I imagine her phrasing it and re-phrasing it. Her final message is short. "So?"
I make her wait for my reply, enjoying having the upper hand in this little power game. She's already paid for the tickets, so now she just really needs to know if I'm coming. I want her to agonize over it. I take a moment to think about what I'm going to say before I start typing so she doesn't see me writing. "I'll pack my best sweatpants," I write back.
"Tease," she replies quickly.
Then another message from her: "You know what I like. Miniskirts and heels, slut, and no fucking underwear."
I squirm in my desk chair. It's been
way
too long.
ββββββββββββ
When my flight lands and I start the long walk down to arrivals, my heart thuds in my chest, and I wonder why I'm suddenly so nervous. It's not like it's been
that
much longer since I've seen her than the few times before that. I realize that I'm worried about that magical thing between us β will it be the same? Whatever it is, that perfect chemistry, I find myself desperately needing it. It satisfies something deep inside of me that I didn't know was empty until she filled it.
My anxiety builds and builds until the moment I step out of the folding glass doors that separate the secure part of the terminal from the public arrivals area outside. It sits like a knot, high and tight above my lungs, until I see her. She gives me a lopsided smirk that lights up her eyes and the knot in my chest dissolves immediately.
She stands there with her arms crossed over her chest, in a light sweater and pants, all black, and watches as I walk right up to her, smirking the whole time. When I'm standing right in front of her, she looks me up and down, and now I can see hunger in her eyes and I feel a wave of heat roll over my body. I dressed for her; of course I did. My heeled boots with buckles, a short skirt, a translucent blouse she can see the shape of my bra through. I'm all soft, bare legs and curves, because I wanted her to see me and want me. And she does.
"Hi," she says softly.
"Hi," I reply, and I feel myself blushing like a teenager.
Fuck off
, I tell myself.
As she takes my carry on from me, her hand brushes mine, and I feel goosebumps spread up my arm. My breath catches. She slides her other hand around my waist and pulls me in, presses her face to my neck and breathes me in. "Mm," she murmurs. "Come on, let's go."
Then she pulls away and holds her arm out; I slide mine through it and she walks me out to a waiting cab.
ββββββββββββ
For once, she's very, very good in the cab. We sit together in the back seat, her thigh warm against mine as we press next to each other, and she keeps her hands mostly to herself. We chat softly, catching up, and twice she traces her fingers over the spot where the hem of my skirt meets my thigh, sending shivers across my skin, until she catches herself and pulls her hand back into her own lap.
I am aching for her.
When we're in the elevator she keeps her hands in her pockets and watches my lips when I talk. She unlocks the front door of her apartment and flips on a light, pulls my suitcase in, and turns to me. "So, you must be tired β it's okay if you want to head straight to bed β"
I silence her with a kiss. In fact, I throw myself at her, swinging my arms around her neck and drawing her face down to mine. She smiles against my mouth at first, kissing me back chastely, but I bite at her, teasing her, then draw back, grazing her lips with mine and flicking my tongue against her, trying to make her crazy. I succeed only in making myself crazy.
"Fuck you," I mutter against her mouth, and that finally sets her off.
"That word," she says, and kisses me deeply, "in your mouth β" another kiss, "is so hot." Then her tongue is in my mouth and her hands are sliding down my back. She grabs and gropes my ass and then shoves me up against the wall, her lips traveling down to my jaw.
"Yes," I whimper. Finally. "Why do you torture me?"
She laughs and licks at my earlobe, then draws it between her lips to suck and bite it, sending a chill down my spine. "Because it's so easy," she purrs. "Besides, I had to make sure you still wanted me." She slides her hands up into my shirt and I detach from her for long enough to pull it off over my head. She unclasps my bra with a practiced twist of her fingers and I shrug my shoulders to allow it to fall to the ground.