Unrequited Pt 01

Hello again! I'm so glad to be back, and so excited to be bringing this story to you, finally. I've been working on it for over two years, and it's finally ready! This really has been a labor of love. And I hope you all enjoy! I will be publishing this in five parts. They're all written, so I'll be submitting each subsequent part as soon as I see the previous one posted.

*************

Unrequited, Part One

"Hey Bethy!"

Oh god, she looked happy. Again. Great. Sally's blonde hair gleamed in the morning sunlight, blue eyes shining. She was so beautiful, and I smiled in spite of my decidedly less chipper feelings.

I stood up from the table and gave my best friend a hug. "You're in a good mood. I take it things went well?"

She grabbed my hands and gave a little squeal, her whole body vibrating. "It was amazing!" We sat down as she started going into details. "He made chicken curry, which was awesome."

Points for Tim. Sally was a curry fanatic. That would have put her in a great mood.

"And then we had butter pecan ice cream."

"That wasn't homemade, too, was it?"

Sally laughed. "No. But he remembered. Our first date was the only time we had ice cream, and he remembered!" Her eyes were dreamy and far away. "Then we cuddled on the couch and watched Harry Potter."

"Damn, he really was working hard." I sat back in my chair. "So, was it 'Seduce Sally' night at Tim's house?"

"If so, it totally worked."

The waitress chose that moment to reappear with my glass of OJ. She pulled out her pad and turned to Sally, who was still giving off her thousand-watt smile. "What can I get for you?"

"Mmm, coffee, and can I get two scrambled eggs with turkey sausage and hash browns?"

"And you, ma'am?" Ugh, ma'am. I'm getting old. If I was going to have to listen to Sally go on, I was rewarding myself.

"I'll have the cheddar biscuits and gravy, please."

"Excellent choice." She took our menus and quietly vanished with a smile, reappearing thirty seconds later with a coffee pot, filling Sally's mug before moving away again.

I sat back as Sally savored her java, ticking things off on my fingers. "So, favorite food, favorite ice cream, favorite movie. Did the Mack daddy have a good night?" I tried to make the comment playful, but I don't think I fully succeeded, since Sally gave me a reproachful look.

"Actually, it was amazing for both of us, I think. Definitely for me. I mean he, um," her front teeth bit her lip while her cheeks turned red. "He," she pointed to her mouth and then down at her skirt.

"He went down on you?" Sally nodded quickly, and I chuckled. "Yeah, I'm familiar with the concept. I am a lesbian, after all."

Sally pouted out her bottom lip a bit. Oh, that was adorable. "I know it happens to you all the time, Bethy, but for me it's... rarer."

I harrumphed at the idea that it happens to me 'all the time', but I didn't say anything to contradict her. "Was he any good? Or did he just," I stuck out my tongue and made like a dog blindly lapping at water.

Sally's eyes went wide. "Stop that!" She looked around to see if anyone was staring before lowering her voice. "If you really want to know, it was exquisite, soft and gentle and it lasted forever." She looked at me squarely. "He actually got me there once and almost a second time before we started, um, making love."

That hurt. "Oral is making love."

Sally grimaced. "God, you're right. Sorry, Bethy. But you know what I mean."

"You mean when he started boinking you." I said it so no one could overhear, but Sally still made a face and looked around, lowering her voice to a whisper.

"You're terrible." Sally's eyes closed for a moment as she recalled what had happened. "And it wasn't boinking, it was slow and nice and then it was more and harder and god, Bethy, he smelled so good." She looked at me, and I got lost in the blue depths of her eyes for a moment. "He got me there two more times before he finished, and it was heavenly." There was definitely a note of challenge in her voice.

I held up my hands and laughed. "Okay, sorry." Inside I was twisting in knots, given my knee jerk reaction to hate any man who wanted to touch my Sally. But I knew hating on a guy she was obviously crazy about was a bad idea.

"And when we finished he pulled me close and asked if I'd, um, y'know, liked it, and when I said 'yes' he just stroked my hair and said he was glad, and that I was so amazing, and he was so lucky that I was with him, and that he really just wanted to make me happy. And then he held me until I fell asleep."

Oh, shit. She's in love. The dreaminess in her voice was a dead giveaway. And something inside told me this one was different than the other times I'd seen it. I mean, sure, she'd been in love before, but the others had been boys. Tim, though, he was a man, and from the one time I'd met him I got the sense he knew exactly how lucky he was to have Sally on his arm, and he had no intention of screwing it up.

But he was a guy, so I wondered. "And he didn't want you to," I repeated her gesture from before, pointing to my mouth and then down at my chair seat.

Sally shook her head. "He never even hinted at it."

"Wow." I sat back. "A caring, thoughtful man who's incredible in bed and doesn't like blow jobs. I'm told that's a rare find."

Sally's face reddened and she looked down into her coffee cup, her voice lowering to a whisper. "Actually, he likes blow jobs just fine." She bit her lip and looked up at me through her lashes.

My brow crinkled. "I thought you said..."

She leaned forward, grinning. "This morning, in the shower." I laughed and shook my head.

"Oh, god, Bethy, he

so

earned it. And one more thing," she gave a surreptitious glance around, her voice a forced whisper. "I swallowed."

"Ewww! God, Sal, I didn't need to know that! Damn!"

"Keep your voice down!" Sally giggled and shrugged. "It wasn't that bad. He was really enjoying it and I wanted it to be awesome for him so I just sort of went for it"

"Careful, he'll get used to it."

"That's the idea." Her deep blues got serious and her mouth trembled a bit. "I really like him, Bethy. I mean, I did before, and after last night," she sighed heavily, "I really like him."

The wait staff chose that moment to slide my plate in front of me, making me jump. Sally received hers as well, smiling up at our server, eyes shining and taking my breath away. She really was happy. I couldn't remember the last time I'd seen her like this.

"I'm happy for you Sal." It was true, really. I wanted to see her happy. Even if it was never going to be with me, even if it meant I was going to be miserable forever. Love wasn't supposed to be selfish, and I tried not to let myself feel that way.

I took a bite of my brunch, letting the creamy, buttery, peppery goodness wash over me. I might never be lucky in love, but at least I'd always have biscuits and gravy. Life didn't completely suck.

"God, Bethy, I'm totally dominating the conversation. How was your date?"

Shit, I was wrong. Life did suck, totally and completely. I groaned, leaning back in my chair and staring up at the sky.

"That good, huh?"

"Apparently there are only six single lesbians in the greater St. Louis area. Two are in prison, two just got out of prison, and the other two are emotional train wrecks."

"That's not true. There's you."

"No, no, I'm one of the train wrecks. No doubt about it."

Sally giggled. "You are not! So, I mean, was she a basket case or..."

"No! That's the worst part. She was pretty, and smart, and funny.

She

wasn't the problem. It was all me."

Sally's forehead crinkled in concern. "Just no spark?"

"None. There's definitely something wrong with me."

"Did you try? How did you leave it?" Sally's wide-eyed concern was really touching. "Sometimes it takes time to build a spark."

"I tried. I mean, we had a nice dinner, and we have some common interests, but after that we went for ice cream, and the conversation just kinda stagnated. So, we were sitting on a bench and she looks up at me and says 'This isn't going anywhere, is it?' I couldn't say anything, so she just bowed her head and said she was sad, that she liked me. I walked her back to her car and she left. She was really hurt, Sal, and I caused it."

"Oh, sweetie. I'm sorry. At least you didn't lead her on."

I nodded and forced away a tear. Thing is, I knew exactly why it hadn't worked. She hadn't been Sally. Every time she's done or said something different than what Sally would've, I detached a little. And that was spectacularly unfair to everyone. My head knew that, but my heart stubbornly refused to care.

"I'll just keep looking. We can't all have the perfect partner magically land in our lap."

Sally blushed. "It's not like we're engaged or anything, Bethy. We've only been dating a month; last night was our first night together."

"Yeah, but you're already thinking about it. I can tell,"

"Maybe a little." She looked me squarely in the eye. "Is that so wrong?" She took another sip of her coffee.

"No, Sal, no it isn't." I took a long look at my friend, her azure eyes hopeful under her long, luxurious mane of naturally blonde hair. Her skin was a lovely cream color, with high cheekbones and a perfect, elegant neck. It translated down into a classic hourglass figure with well-proportioned C-cup breasts. She was beautiful. Walking behind her was downright dangerous, as men would run into you rubbernecking to get a second look.

And as much as she knew she was pretty, she was still always flattered by the male attention she received. And her choices, well, let's just call them less than ideal. I think she had a tendency to intimidate nice guys, so generally all she got were players.

The first had been the captain and quarterback of our high school football team. She lost her virginity to him after homecoming junior year, and then he'd moved on. She'd been devastated. I could've killed him.

The pattern had repeated itself in college and beyond, and every time I'd been there to pick up the pieces. I'd remind her how wonderful she was, tell her that there was someone out there who'd love her like she deserved to be loved. Of course, I meant me, but whatever.

Tim, though, Tim was different. It wasn't a pick-up at a bar or the gym. Sally worked in H.R. at a major company downtown, and Tim was a property attorney. He'd been leading a team to do a value estimate on Sally's employer, or something like that, and she'd been assigned to facilitate. So they'd emailed and talked on the phone for two months before they ever met in person. When they did they hit it off immediately, and for months it was 'Tim said this' or 'Tim did the funniest thing' or 'Tim and I tried that new deli for lunch'.

But beyond lunch they hadn't corresponded outside of work, and Sally was convinced he only saw her as a work friend. Finally on the last day Tim was scheduled to be at her office I got a frantic text from Sally.

Sally -

OMG! OMG! He asked me out!

Me -

What did you say?

Sally -

Yes! Of course yes! Dinner Friday!

That night Sally came over and we rehashed everything he'd said and did so many times I felt like I'd been there myself. How he'd been all nervous, how he said he'd waited to ask because he didn't want to seem unprofessional, yadda, yadda, yadda.

And so for the last four weeks I'd been subjected to every detail regarding their burgeoning relationship with a sinking feeling that Sally might have met the one. And that one was decidedly not me.

"You know me, Bethy, I've always wanted a family, and Tim says he wants that, too, and I think he really means it."

I sighed deeply. "I think he might, Sal. Just keep your eyes and ears open, to start with at least."

"I will, promise. But I do need your help, though." She was smiling coyly at me, her obvious 'I need a favor' face.

"Oh, god. What?"

"Tim's boss is having a dinner party tonight and Tim asked me to go."

"What, you want me to crash? Seduce his boss's wife?"

Sally laughed. "No. I need a dress. Come shopping with me? Please?"

I rolled my eyes. "Oh, Sal."

"Puuh-lease? I'll buy you a pretzel."

I sighed. The soft pretzels at the mall were a true weakness of mine, and Sally knew it. "Okay, fine."

She clapped her hands together. "Yay! You know this is why I have a lesbian best friend, so I can get a real opinion about when I look hot in things."

I smirked at her. "I'm glad I'm good for something."

*******

"I still liked the black one better." I was driving, while Sally sat in my front seat blowing on her newly done nails.

"Maybe, but I would have had to wear a backless bra with it, and I hate the only one I have. I don't want to be uncomfortable all evening. I'll be nervous enough as it is."

I guess it didn't matter too much; Sally'd look amazing in a burlap sack. We'd spent hours in multiple shops before Sally settled on a dress. I couldn't complain too much, as I'd come out with a new pair of high-waisted charcoal slacks that made my butt look amazing, along with two silky blouses that I loved, one an off-white and the other a daring ruby red.

It wasn't as daring as the thong-garter combo Sally'd bought at the little lingerie shop, though. It had sheer stockings, the ones with the line up the back. They were damn sexy, and I tried to push away the thought of her in those, and only those.

We got lucky with a spot in front of Sally's building, making it up to her apartment a little before four thirty. Tim was coming in an hour to pick Sally up, and she begged me to stay until then.

"I'm getting really nervous." Sally was wringing her hands. "I mean, this is really real, isn't it? Like, how would I be as his wife? Would I help or hurt him at things like this? I have to get this right." She blew out a breath, the fear evident in her eyes.

"Geez, Sal, this isn't nineteen fifty-five, and you don't have to perform for these people. You are an independent, successful, beautiful woman."

"Yeah, yeah, I know. But it's not wrong to want to be an asset to your partner's career."

I almost called her out on the prematurity of calling Tim her partner, but I knew Sally. She'd defend, and I'd end up pushing her even further down that particular road. She seemed to be speeding along fine as it were.

Sally glanced at the clock on the wall, which was showing a quarter to five. "Shoot! I gotta hop in the shower and get ready. Will you stay and watch the door, just in case? Please?"

She put on that adorable pouty face I could never resist, so I nodded. Sally made a happy little noise and kissed me on the cheek before skipping off to her room.

My hand raised, my fingers finding the tingling place where her lips had touched my skin. I sighed and flopped down onto her couch.

Sally didn't close the bedroom door. "What are you going to do tonight? You should go out, maybe get lucky in love. Or just lucky. You deserve it."

"Thanks, but I already have a date. Cutest girl in town."

"Emma?"

"Yep."

"Do you have the ammunition for that?"

"Not yet, I'll stop and pick it up on the way."

I heard the shower come on and the bathroom door close. In an effort to distract myself from the unclothed nature of my knockout of a best friend I found some stupid human compilations to laugh at on YouTube.

The minutes ticked by with no more conversation from the back. Finally, at five twenty-seven there was a knock on the door.

"I think he's here!"

"God, Bethy, stall him! I'll be out in a sec."

I groaned and stood, making my way to the door. I looked through the peephole to see an earnest looking, brown haired young man, who appeared to be holding flowers.

I swung the door open and his expression fell just a little when he saw me. "Oh, hey Beth. Is Sally ready?"

"Not quite, come on in." He carried his gift through the door, a dozen red roses with baby's breath and other fillers. That had not been a cheap bouquet.

He pointed at my hair. "You got highlights. They look good."

One side of my mouth switched up. "Thanks." Damn, this guy was hard to dislike. I was trying to think of a way to return the compliment when I saw his eyes slide out of focus and his mouth open slightly. Sally had walked in, and I no longer existed in his world. I followed his gaze across the room to where my best friend was standing just in from the hall.

Sally's hair was swept up, falling in a golden waterfall on the right side. Her bright blue eyes seemed to glow, as her dress rested on her, tight across the bodice but falling loosely to the knee. Diamonds glittered on her neck and ears, while her new stockings and blue three inch pumps completed the outfit. She was a vision of loveliness, innocence come to womanhood, but nothing was more beautiful than the look of serene happiness she was wearing, directed at the man standing rooted next to me.

"Sally, you look beautiful."

Sally's chin dropped, eyes fluttering closed for a moment as she blushed. "Thanks. You look really handsome, too. Are those for me?"

Tim overcame his temporary paralysis and stepped forward, holding out the flowers and laying them in Sally's arms.

"They're lovely. Thank you,"

I felt like Amos from

Chicago

singing 'Mr. Cellophane.' I was in the room, but neither of these two were aware of it. They were each other's whole universe, and I knew I'd been wrong. I'd never seen Sally in love, not really. I saw it now, though, and it was absolutely mutual.

"Let me take those." Sally seemed to start as I broke the spell, but she managed to hand me the flowers. I gave her the matching clutch from the countertop. "Now you kids go have fun."

Sally turned her angelic face to me. "Thanks, Bethy." She looked back at her beau, who bent his elbow out in invitation.

"Shall we?"

In answer she just took his arm, letting him lead her out of the apartment. I closed the door gently behind them, still holding Sally's flowers.

Almost in a daze I set them down in the kitchen, pulling a vase off the top of the fridge. I filled it with water and stirred in the little packet of plant food before trimming the stems and sliding them into the glass container.

I picked at the flowers for a second, making sure they were well spaced. I stepped back to admire them. They really were beautiful, a perfect reminder of Tim's feelings for Sally when she returned home.

I leaned back against the refrigerator, slid down to the floor, and cried.

*****

It was, I believe, very fortunate that I really did have somewhere to be that night. Being left to my own devices would've been a bad idea, likely involving too much alcohol and possibly poor decisions in other genres as well. Luckily there was someone who loved me unconditionally and always lifted my spirits.

"Auntie Beth!" Emma tore into the kitchen and almost jumped into my arms. My brother-in-law, who'd let me in, just smiled and went into the next room as I hugged my five-year-old niece.

As I set her down she looked at me, wide-eyed, keeping her voice conspiratorially low. "Did you bring it?"

I glanced at both of the doors to the kitchen before grabbing the bag I'd snuck in and showing her the chocolate chip cookie dough inside.

"Whee!" She squealed and stamped her foot excitedly, and my finger shot to my mouth.

"Shh, don't tell your mom!"

Emma thinned her lips and nodded. I stashed the bag out of sight before my niece grabbed my hand and pulled me into the living room. "Come color with me!"

That's what we were doing when my sister came downstairs, looking elegant as always. She was attaching gold hoop earrings, which matched the gold circle on the chest of her black, jumpsuit style outfit.

"Hey, Sis, thanks for doing this."