This is a story of romance and contains descriptions of F-F sex
"How exactly is this going to further your career or even help the department?" Graham asked, looking up from the flyer.
"Oh come on, Graham. Look at some of the speakers already signed up. There's Monica from Seattle, who I haven't yet met in person. There's the team from Imperial making a presentation. Frankly I think it would be remiss of the department not have a representative. You've been to these conferences and you tell me me how useful they are," Hannah replied indignantly, with just a whine in her voice.
"I'm sorry, Hannah, the department doesn't have the budget for this trip."
"Well, how about I pay for my flight and the university pays for the registration and accommodation? That would only be a few hundred pounds. Maybe £500, tops?"
Graham was her departmental professor and although he didn't write the cheques, his approval was essential for any international travel. Graham was an academic who sifted the results from research around the world to spot trends and patterns in Oceanography. From the university's point of view, he was a safe pair of hands. To young, enthusiastic post-graduates like Hannah, he was a pain in the ass who had to be wooed with logic.
He looked again at the sheaf of information she presented him, chewing the arm of his spectacles as he lent back from his desk.
"I tell you what Hannah. If you can befriend the French crowd and see how they're processing their core sample results, then I can see some merit in this," he finally replied, ignoring her financial bargaining.
"So is that a yes?" Hannah asked suspiciously.
"Is that a yes to wheedling French techniques?"
"Yes. Mais oui."
Graham furrowed his brow at her response and replaced his spectacles. He didn't dislike Hannah, she produced solid research and was a good tutor but she was inclined to be pushy. He wasn't fond of pushy women.
'But if I don't keep her sweet, she might up stakes and move to Imperial College,' he thought to himself.
"Oh I suppose so. Put your budget together, send it to the Vice Chancellor's office and copy me in. The department will look at this favourably," he replied, handing back the papers and returning his concentration to his computer.
"Thanks Graham. I won't let you down," Hannah replied.
"No. You won't." Graham didn't feel he needed to add anything else.
Hannah closed his office door behind her and did a little happy dance. She was going to Bangkok!
* * * * *
Despite the luxury of her hotel room compared to her modest flat back home, Hannah hadn't slept well. She wasn't exactly jet lagged, but new surroundings unsettled her.
She'd found the registration lounge at the end of a long, carpeted atrium. She was checked in and given a conference pass, then the clerk gifted her a carrier bag of goodies, maps, restaurant fliers and tourist invitations to visit every corner of Bangkok. She felt it would be impolite to refuse it, but perhaps she could accidentally leave it at a restaurant table. She didn't really want it.
Her tummy was insisting it was UK supper time and it was only a short wander to find somewhere offering breakfast. Like everywhere in modern Bangkok, the restaurant was airy and bright. There was always a glass water wall cascade, decorated with something garish. In this case it was plastic hummingbirds.
Hannah found herself a table for her fruit breakfast from where she had a view of the lively city and river, busy with express boats and long tail water taxis.
She reflected on her last visit, nearly eight years ago, with her mother. That had been for her gender reassignment surgery, the summer after she'd graduated. They'd stayed for a month for her to recover enough for the long flight back to the UK, seated on a water cushion that attendants kindly swapped for chilled ones. At least the city had not changed, even if she had. Growing through your twenties is a formative time for any woman, changing from skittish youth to mature adult.
She focused on a particular ferry, watching the expert pilotage as it arrived at each stop with a shrill of whistled commands to the driver while passengers alighted as though it were a bus back in London. Matchstick locals and tourists crowded aboard, the mooring ropes flicked clear and off it went upstream, through the milk tea water floating with jetsam. She leaned forward to follow its progress until it disappeared from view behind the window frame.
As she turned back to her coffee, she sensed a face was turned in her direction from another table. To make certain, she gazed out of the window again and raised her hand to rest her chin on her palm. It was a natural sleight of hand to divert attention from her eyes and she made a flicker of a glance in the direction of the other table.
She was right. Someone was looking her way, so she let her fringe fall forward and busied herself with her breakfast and the paperwork she'd brought with her.
"Excuse me, but are you Anna?"
A tall woman, with short dark hair and pale complexion, was standing next to her table. She was fidgeting with her hands, clearly awkward to be asking.
Hannah looked up, relieved it wasn't a man but was immediately puzzled. Hannah was especially bad at putting names to faces, particularly in different circumstances but this attractive woman was someone she wished she could remember.
"'Hannah' but lots of people get it wrong," she corrected. "You must forgive me but I'm hopeless with names and I'm trying to place you. Please, take a seat."
"I'm Eden. We met on a sailing course in that stinky old yacht in the Solent."
"Of course! Wow. What a coincidence! I remember your record for an emergency caesarean was 75 seconds, knife in to baby out." Hannah blurted out with a laugh of recognition as she finally joined the dots.
"Oh my god. Is that what you remember me for?" Eden snorted with a laugh as she settled into the seat opposite Hannah.
They held each other's gaze for just a fraction longer than seemed usual to Hannah, but she didn't mind. With some people that would be unsettling, but now it stirred memories for them both.
"No. Well not just that. The other thing I remember was you sinking four pints of lager in the pub on our last night. You could be forgiven for forgetting that though. That was such a cold week wasn't it?" Hannah kept the mood light.
"Using sea water to thaw the ice on deck? That was a clever trick. Have you done much sailing since?" Eden replied, looking more relaxed.
"Yeah, bits and pieces, when I can. Why not bring your breakfast over here, Eden? This is a real treat to meet you again."
* * * *
The truth went deeper than Hannah cared to admit. There had been four candidates on the week-long course and because Eden and she were the only women, they chose to pair up.
The course was a mix of learning new skills and putting them into practise under the tutelage of an experienced skipper. Students had to demonstrate theory they had previously studied ashore. Planning and plotting a course at sea were essential techniques for which traditional paper charts were required.
They had been set a pilotage exercise and Hannah had been sitting at the navigator's desk where the charts were stored. Eden was leaning on the desk when Hannah reached underneath for a pencil, then dropped its wooden lid back. She hadn't realised Eden's finger had moved and it was trapped under the heavy lid of the plotting table.
Hannah jumped when Eden squealed but at first couldn't understand the cause. It was only when Eden lifted the table lid to free her hand it became clear what had happened. The quick of her finger was bleeding. She had long delicate fingers that she'd kept hidden in gloves because it was so cold, but had pulled them off for this exercise.
Hannah was instantly nauseous through a mixture of guilt and helplessness. She could hardly offer first aid to a doctor of medicine. While Eden was cussing and checking the injury to her finger, Hannah was mute, her own hand at her mouth, her brain whirling with none of the right things to say.
In the great scheme of things, it wasn't a big deal. Hannah supposed that most people would have long since let go of the emotions. Some people on the spectrum can't and are often plagued by the moment forever, and the anxiety of the moment never leaves. Hannah was one of those people, and the sudden giddy sensation in her stomach was its reminder.
Although they had finished the week with hugs of friendship, the memory and guilt of the event often visited Hannah. Perhaps this new meeting with Eden might help set that particular ghost to rest?
* * * *
"So, what brings you to Bangkok, Hannah? Are you here for work?" Eden enquired taking a sip of her drink.
Hannah was soaking up the symmetry of Eden's face and saw a reflex lick of her lips. Just the tip of her tongue. Pink, wet.
"Yes, yes I am," she blurted in reply, the momentary distraction gone. "There's an Oceanographic conference and I'm presenting some of my research, but there's some great speakers and experts here. I'm hoping to do some networking. What about you? Is there a medical one here too?"
"Yup, there's an Obstetrics and Gynae one. I've been before several years ago. I was going to spend a few days here, then slip away to one of the beach resorts. Are you doing the same -- business and pleasure?" Eden smiled, taking another sip. The same reflex lick.
Hannah glanced at Eden's finger to see if there was a scar from the desk accident. She wore no rings, not that it meant anything, but Hannah noticed some dirt under a fingernail, because she didn't wear nail varnish either. Hannah liked people with a little dirt under a nail -- it made them more honest.
Eden wore her dark hair short and with her brown eyes it made her skin seem even more pale. Hannah remembered how tired she'd been on the yacht, with shadows under her eyes. It made her seem vulnerable and that provoked a sense of tenderness towards her, even though Eden must be ten years Hannah's senior.
There was much about Eden that she now recalled but more she wanted to know.
"A ha! Well, you see I have the advantage because beach holidays are also work for me -- every grain of sand has a story to tell. I've no fixed plans, but I'd hoped to do some diving, maybe down in Koh Tao." Hannah replied, with just the itch of a hope in her heart.
"Can I ask, Hannah, are you travelling alone? If you were and wanted some company, I'd really welcome that. You know, bag watching, the single traveller's nightmare, all that. Oh god, forgive me -- I sound very needy don't I?" Eden pulled a mock cringe.
"If you don't ask Eden... That would be awesome. Really? Okay, well let's meet up later and we can swap ideas. No promises, nothing presumed, okay? I'm sure we both deserve some beach time!
"I really ought to check through my presentation this morning, but after that, I've got a flexible timetable."
