Two of a Ind

That Friday was horrid. All day long Crystal was over excited. I dealt with half a dozen meltdowns before we even got to Marcy's house. Kids are funny like that, especially the special ones, they can just sense your moods and push your buttons. It is not that they are being naughty or trying to upset you more, it is more that you being upset makes them insecure and that comes out in their behaviors. And boy did it with Crystal that day.

When we got to Marcy's house it was not much better. Josh had lost one of his 'special' collectibles. And everyone was tearing the house apart looking for it while Marcy was half dressed and all beautiful. It broke something deep inside of me to do what a best friend would, but I did it anyway. I told her to go finish getting dressed that I would handle it. And by the time she came downstairs half an hour later, we had found it...in the wrong box. And all was quiet on the Western front.

She was so fucking beautiful, you have no idea. I tried to remember if I had ever seen her in make-up before, but I could not. So the answer was probably no. And it was not like it was some garish Las Vegas show girl shit, it was more like a light dusting that enhanced her natural beauty. But it was her long brown hair that fell half way down her back in gentle waves that took my breath away. It was hard not to imagine wrapping my hands in its softness and using it to hold her still as I kissed and explored the recesses of her mouth. Oh yeah, I had it bad.

She had not dressed over the top either. A simple denim skirt that I said seen her wear at least half a dozen times, but it always made the most of her long legs. She had though added a top that I had never seen before. One that was cut a bit low and hugged her firm tits. The necklace that she wore nestled between her cleavage only added to her allure. I thought I recognized that necklace, it was a charms with each of her children's names and birthdates written upon the small silver girls and boy. She was beautiful, a desirable woman and I was jealous as fuck of the guy she was dating.

Like the good friend I was I smiled and told her to have a good time, not to worry about the kids, I had it all under control. And I did too. I ordered pizza...one for Crystal with her favorite toppings and one for Josh with his then another for me, Mandy and Sadie. It was a good thing they had a deal on. Then I bathed Sadie and got Josh settled in his room on his favorite game. The girls were pretty easy playing with dolls and watching that video...the one that every little girl is mad over these days.

It was the perfect domestic scene. The life that I dreamt of. Except for one thing...the woman that I loved and wanted by my side was on a date with a man. I kept reminding myself how selfish I was being. Marcy deserved happiness and if I could not give it to her then I should be glad that someone else was. While my mind could grasp that my heart screamed in pain.

It did not help that I had to field half a dozen calls from Marcy that night. "How are the kids? Any problems? You know Josh needs this...or Sadie likes that to get to sleep." And that crack in my heart got wider but I just smiled and replied, "Don't worry. I know that."

It was close to midnight when I finally pried Josh away from his game, but I knew that was close to his 'normal' bed time anyway...another of the joys of raising autistic children is body clocks that never work quite the same as the rest of us. But at last they were all down. I sat in the dark living room trying to decide what to do now. Maybe I should not have pushed Josh so hard to get him down. I could have used the company.

I was just about to pick up the remote and turn on mindless television when I thought I heard something. It sounded like a kitten maybe? And it was coming from the garage. I knew it was too early for Marcy to be home from her date, but maybe she had left the door up and a lost creature had somehow made its way in there?

But as I walked through the kitchen and utility room, my alarm went off more with each step. This was no kitten. Unless it was a mountain lion. In real distress too. When I opened the door, I got the shock of my life. Marcy's car was parked there and she sat in the front seat, her head against the steering wheel as her whole body shook with giant sobs.

I did the only thing I could do. What any friend would do. I went to her and opened the car door. I pulled her out and wrapped my arms about. She did not even fight me. She just came into my arms. She felt so right as she laid her head against my shoulder and held me so tightly as if she too were afraid to let go. And she cried...and cried...and cried. I do not know how long but my arm had long since gone to sleep and I kept having to remind myself not to lock my knees or we would both end up on the cold hard concrete floor.

At last her sobs quieted enough that I could risk drawing back, not far, just enough to look into her face. How was it possible that even with her eyes swollen, red and puffy and her nose running this woman would still be breathtakingly beautiful? But she was. Even the silly dark mascara smudges on her cheeks only highlighted her pale skin.

"Let's go inside. I'll run you a bath and pour you a glass of wine," I said as I led her towards the door.

She shook her head, "I don't want to wake the kids. That's why I stayed out here so long?"

I frowned, "How long have you been out here?" The idea of her sitting alone, crying in the cold, dark garage ate at my gut.

"I don't know. I left the bar a little after ten," she replied. Two hours. She had been there all alone for almost two when I was just yards away. I felt like I had failed her somehow. But I could not dwell on that now. Right now I needed to take care of her.

I was still afraid of letting her out of my sight so we stopped in the kitchen for a glass and a bottle of wine. No need for a cork screw, we were single mothers, the wines we could afford to drink on those rare occasions when we allowed ourselves the luxury always had screw on caps. But sometimes the simple thing in life taste even sweeter than the fancy ones.

I led her down the hallway. Of course we had to stop and check on the kids. The girls were all three piled into Mandy's twin bed. So I did a bit of rearranging to make sure that there were cushions on the floor, just in case Sadie fell off during the night. And Marcy had to grab Josh's old teddy from next to his computer and tuck it under his arm, "He'll have a fit if he wakes up in the night and can't find Oscar," she whispered as she bent to kiss her son's forehead.

And I fell even deeper in love with this woman. Even if all I could ever be to her was a best friend and occasional babysitter to lighten her load, it was the least I could do for her. So I made certain to hand her a towel and turn my back as she undressed, focusing upon getting the temperature just right before adding bubbles...from a pink princess figurine no less.

When I was finished, I stood up and smiled at her. "Get it while I pour the wine." She just nodded and once more I gave her the privacy she needed. When I heard the splash, I gave her a moment more to get adjusted safely under the layer of bubbles before turning around. "I'll go now so you can relax," I said as I held out the glass for her.

She took the glass but wrapped her hand around mine and held tight as she shook her head, "Please don't. I could use a friend."

I nodded, "Okay then. Do you want to talk about it?"

She took a long sip of the wine, draining half the glass. She seemed to just stare straight ahead, not even hearing me. I thought about asking again, but figured that sometimes silence spoke louder than words. So I just sat down on the toilet next to the bath and waited.

I thought that perhaps she did not want to talk at all because it was several long minutes before she let out a sigh. It was not even a sigh really. It sounded more like one of the children had blown up a balloon almost to the point of popping. Then rather than tie it off they had let it go. The air swooshing and rushing out of the tiny opening, as it squeaked and squealed about the room dancing in large circles through the air.

"Something is wrong with me," she said as she looked down at the bubbles and drained the rest of the wine from the glass. I picked up the bottle off the floor and refilled her glass. I waited again without words. The story would come out when she was ready...as it should be. She drank more of the wine and this time she looked up at me and her gaze met mine before she continued.

"I think I hate men. Maybe I always have?" she finished the wine and held out the glass.

I frowned as I only half filled it this time. Tomorrow was going to come soon enough after a night like this and with three demanding children she did not need a hangover compounding the issues. "What do you mean?"

"All he wanted to do was talk about himself. Anytime I mentioned my life or the kids, he just rolled his eyes and changed the subject. Then when we went out on the dance floor, he wanted to dry hump and make out more than dance. It was disgusting. It always is," she said with that wry half smile that I had come to know and love as self-deprecating.

"I know. Sometimes they just don't get it, sweetie. I think Crystal's dad thought I did not all day long but sat on my ass watching soap operas and eating bon-boons. " We both chuckled then. "But I am sure that somewhere out there is a man that will recognize you for the beautiful, caring, intelligent soul that you are. A man like that will cherish and protect you, making your life easier not harder." I forced the words that I thought she needed to hear past the knot in my throat even if all I wanted to do was shout...I am that person.

She shook her head, "It is more than that." She blushed and looked at the bubbles again, "I think I might be lesbian," she whispered so low that I was not sure I had heard her at all, let alone correctly.

"What did you say?" I stammered.

She sighed again, "When he kissed me, it was just...yucky." I had to fight the need to laugh at the face she made then. It was so like Josh's when you tried to make him eat something he did not like. I ended up smiling I guess because when she looked up at me, my world tilted on its axis...not listed but tilted a whole ninety degrees or more. And I was not sure it would ever right itself when she spoke again, "Not like when you kissed me."

I swallowed my tongue not just at her words, but the way she was looking at me. The same look that Crystal gets when she sees a toy that she wants on television. The one that said...now or I will have a meltdown. But it was me who was having the meltdown now. I must be hearing her wrong. I knew I was for sure when she held out her hand towards me and whispered, "Kiss me again."

I sat there frozen. I honestly did not know what to do. She was offering me everything I had dreamt of for weeks or months. But what if...what if she got scared again? What if this time she ran? What if I ruined our friendship? It would destroy our children in the process.

I don't know what I would have decided. What I would have done then. Because Marcy never gave me the chance to find out. She held my gaze as she stood up from the tub. Her skin glistened and glowed from the warmth of the water. Bubbles clung to her skin, occasionally popping to form a thin film across her skin.

She stepped out of the tub and stood in front of me. She was dripping wet as she reached for my hand and placed it palm down over her heart. I could feel it pounding a rapid beat as I fought to restart my own. She looked down at me and whispered, "Love me, please."

It was the one request I could never refuse. How any one could was beyond me with this strong, loving beautiful creature standing naked before me? I had survived so many things before, so much heart ache and so had she. I could only hope that when the morning came this was not a choice either of us would regret.

I took her hand and we walked back down that hall together. We made our way to her bedroom and the moment the door was closed we found our way into one another's arms. Marcy was soft and pliable one minute and hard and demanding the next. We kissed and caressed as my clothes flew to land wherever on the floor.

We fell onto her bed as hands explored and caressed. Her nipples were so damned sensitive and I was pleasantly surprised to discover that her right one was pierced. I took the lead. It just seemed natural somehow but Marcy followed more than willingly. And when I worked my way down her body to heaven, well, it was a taste and feel I never wanted to leave again. Her body was so responsive and she was soon soring as my mouth and fingers worked her clit and g-spot to a frenzied pitch.

Then she collapsed back against the pillow. Her body glistened with sweat and every muscle was lax, fully satiated. For now at least. I climbed slowly up the bed, caressing her soft skin and enjoying the feel of her shuddering beneath me. I gathered her in my arms and pressed a tender kiss to her forehead then. "Sleep, angel. We will talk tomorrow."

But before morning could bring that talk, long talk, that we needed to have, I was awakened to the feel of lips kissing and suckling upon my tits. Of hands moving across my abdomen, brushing and igniting fires. "Show me how to love you the way you loved me," she whispered as she nibbled at the turgid peak of my nipple.

I could not refuse a request like that. And Marcy was a natural. What she might have lacked in style the girl made up for in heart. She followed my every instruction and soon she had my body reaching for those same stars that I had shown her earlier.

The first rays of morning sunshine was filtering through the curtains when we awoke. We both knew that the children would be up soon. We knew too that there was not enough time for the long and complicated talk that we needed to have. Instead we choose to do rather than merely talk. Our bodies locked into a sixty-nine as we moved and pleasured one another.

Of course that talk had to come. And it did later that day after we had made pancakes for the children, packed a picnic lunch with loads of toys and driven to the local park with four adorable if challenging youngsters in the back of my SUV. They played as the Mommies talked but then again that was nothing new for them. What they were not used to was when we got back home, we all went into the same house. Crystal and I never did leave again.

Marcy and I decided that neither one of us were really comfortable with the term lesbian. We preferred to think of ourselves simply as two women, strong and intelligent, who just happened to fall in love with another woman. Not that we have anything against lesbians or the word even. Simply that for us it is more about who you love than how you love them.

We did though end up as the poster child for gay marriage in our local community when we went back to that same park with four cute kids, friends and family to say our commitment vows. We both wore white wedding dresses and the munchkins had their parts too...each promising to take the other as their brother or sister to love, laugh and fight as a family should for as long as we all shall live.

And that is how to single moms with autistic children discovered that you cannot afford to be picky about where love comes from...as long as it finds you then all is good. We hope you find that kind of happiness too whether it has a penis or a clitoris.