I never considered myself lesbian. Bisexual maybe but not even that felt completely right. I used to say "I can live without pussy but not without cock." When the term heteroflexible came into vogue that felt much better, more accurate. So how is it that I find myself telling you the story of two women in love? Happenstance. Fate. Just pure dumb luck maybe? But however Jenny and I came to be, or how many people look down their noses at us, it does not matter, because love is love and it is more powerful than hate. That is what we teach our children anyway. So how did it happen? How did two 'non-lesbian' women end up in such a deep and committed relationship?
It all began in the park one hot summer day. I had taken my 'special' princess out for her daily park trip. Since I taught her at home, I tried extra hard to make sure that she got plenty of time with other children. Socialization as they called it was a huge part of our curriculum, especially when you are raising an autistic child, who does not understand to the unspoken rules of 'polite' society. But unlike most of the other mothers, who could simply bring their children to the park and plop their fat asses on a bench for hours, I had to remain vigilant with Crystal. She had gotten better at understand most of the rules like sharing and taking turns, after two years of my hard work, but she still liked to boss other children around, get her way and play her games then run off without a word. So I spent most of time explaining her unusual behaviors to the other children and their parents.
This day she had glommed onto a young girl about her age, which was unusual; she usually preferred to play with younger children who did not question her authority. I watched as they played for several minutes. Slowly the tension began to drain from my body as I noticed the other gently negotiate and even trick Crystal into compromises. For about five seconds I allowed myself to hope that my daughter might actually have found a 'real' friend. Of course, I quickly stamped out that crazy idea; the girl had not weathered one of her meltdowns yet. But I would enjoy the moment as I watched them run around together, laughing and just being kids.
Then I noticed a boy, a couple of years older than them, approach. While Crystal can sometimes manage one-on-one 'friendships,' anything more is certainly beyond her. I stepped forward, on alert, ready to intercede at a moment's notice. Then I noticed her. Another mother on the other side of the park with a baby in her arms. She was doing the exact same thing. It felt strangely surreal. Almost as if here was another me. Younger certainly. Prettier for sure. But another mother, who battled like a lioness for her cubs in a world where the word protective had become a bad thing.
We reached the kids, who were still playing rather nicely at almost the same time. The words, 'I'm sorry my child...' emerged from our mouths at the same exact moment. We both burst into laughter. Her name was Marcy and these were her children Josh and Mandy. Like Crystal, Josh was high-functioning autistic, which explained why Mandy knew exactly how to manage my daughter's bossy behaviors. We sat down on a bench nearby and let the children do what they do...settle things for themselves. Oh, a couple of times, they could not and came to us, but that was all right too.We stayed in that park until dark that night and considering it was the middle of summer that was quite late. We exchanged cell phone numbers and agreed to meet back there the next day.
I would not say there were any 'sexual' sparks then but I admit I was as excited about seeing them again as a teenage girl going to her first homecoming. When we got there the next day, I was disappointed that they did not come. I took a deep breath and prepared myself for a major meltdown when Crystal realized that her friend was not there. But she just ran off to find a new one. I looked around again and felt my heart drop when I did not see them on closer inspection. Perhaps I had gotten the time wrong? We had been there almost an hour when I looked up and saw a haggled Marcy rushing a packed stroller and two cross children towards me. It seems that Josh had a meltdown. Why did he have to go to a dumb park? Crystal wasn't his friend. I sighed and smiled, realizing how much more complicated this young woman had it, trying to balance the needs of three children, not just one.
We did not stay until dark that time. Instead I invited them back to our apartment for dinner and video games. The girls rushed into Crystal's room to play with her 'hundred' dolls while Marcy and I set Josh up in my bedroom on the computer to play some online war game. Even baby Sadie decided to give Mommy a break and nap in her buggy for a bit. I made us large glasses of iced tea while the lasagna baked in the oven. We talked. Just talked.
I discovered so many things about her that night. Her husband had been one of those private contractors working security in the oil fields. He had been killed almost a year before, but even before that she had felt like a single parent for most of the children's lives. Even when he was home, he was more trouble than help. He always questioned everything she did. He especially resented that it was his only son with the autism, blaming her somehow, she babied him too much, just needed to make a man out of him.
I nodded my head in understanding. Crystal's father was just as bad. He never knew how to manage her behaviors. When she came home from his house, it took at least a day, sometimes two or three, to get her settled back down. Why were supposedly strong men such idiots, we joked and laughed over tea. Wouldn't the world be a better place if women ruled and just kept most of them in chains? It was silly and we did not genuinely mean it of course. But I think in some odd way, it sowed seeds of feminine prowess in our minds.
That became a pattern that summer. Parks, museums, even just time spent in one another's home. I will never forget the day that Marcy admit in tears to me that until that afternoon she and the children had never been invited into anyone's home. A single mom with three 'wild' children, she had been as isolated as I was. I hugged her then. No, not like that. Just a simple hug. The kind you give a sister or best friend.
The other did not come until later, much later. We decided after that summer to take the children away for a vacation. Of course, two single mothers cannot afford a lot so we decided to purchase a tent and take them to the state park, which was only a couple of hours away. We some careful planning even Crystal and Josh should be able to manage that.
