***You'll need to read my previous work, Christmas Party and Anticipation to get the back-story to this, but it should read as a stand-alone story as well! Feedback & comments appreciated! ***
I stared at my phone, reading the text from Greg over and over. My stomach was churning and I thought I was going to be sick. He knew. He knew about Ceri and I. I didn't know how he'd found out, but I knew that I was screwed. He was my boss, and I'd shagged his fiancée! I might as well kiss goodbye to my job now.
The thing that cut deeper, though, was that if Ceri stuck by her man, then I'd never get to fully explore my feelings for her. Thinking about it now, I realised that I had totally fallen for her. Her smile, her filthy mind, her sense of adventure, her ability to make me laugh as we talked for hours, her toned body, everything about her... I wanted it in my life.
And yet... I wondered if maybe, just maybe, when it came down to it, she might decide that she'd rather be with me. After all, she'd seduced me at the Christmas party -- I had never even kissed a girl before that -- and ever since, all the first moves had been made by her. I had surprised myself, because with men I'm confident, flirty and self-assured, but with Ceri I had reverted to my fifteen-year old self, who'd never had a date, and never been kissed.
I chewed on my bottom lip, stressed out. My mobile vibrated again in my hand, making me jump. It was a text from her.
"We need 2 talk. Can I cum round?"
Guardedly, I thought for a minute before composing my reply. "Of course. x"
My flatmate Katie was out with her footballer boyfriend Ben, so I was alone in the flat, and I realised that above anything else, I needed to see my beautiful Ceri.
Fuck, I was starting to think of her as "mine". I shook my head quickly, trying to dislodge the thought before it consumed me. She was engaged to my boss, I couldn't forget that.
The buzzer went almost before I realised it. I let her in, and stood by the flat door, waiting for her to arrive. I heard her footsteps in the stairwell, uncertain, clearly trying to figure out which of the flats was mine.
I threw open the door, and stood, hands on hips, glowering at her as I consciously tried to control the situation.
Her lovely face was ashen, her eyes bloodshot, mascara streaked down both cheeks and her long blonde hair haphazardly pulled into a high ponytail.
"Jasmine," she gasped, looking forlornly at me, her former poise and confidence seemingly shattered.
"What the fuck, Ceri?" I demanded, slamming the flat door behind her. "What happened?"
She gulped, fresh tears welling in her almond-shaped blue eyes as she stared at me. "He saw a text on my phone. He's been suspicious for ages now, I honestly never thought he'd check my phone though..."
I met her gaze, trying to see if she was telling me the whole truth. Wheels were starting to turn in my head. "How do you mean, for ages?" I said slowly. "We only met at Christmas?"
She dropped her eyes to the floor, and I realised. "I'm not the first one, am I?" I croaked, slumping backwards against the flat door and feeling as though someone had just chucked a bucket of cold water over me.
She couldn't meet my eyes.
"So, what then? Am I just a notch on your bedpost?" The lump forming in my throat threatened to choke me.
Her head snapped up at that. "No! Of course not! I'm not seeing anyone else besides you..."
"And your fiancé," I bitterly reminded her, hot, angry tears spilling onto my cheeks.
Her mouth was on mine before I had time to think. Urgent, hungry, desperate kisses, I was sure she could feel my uncertainty as I hesitated before kissing her back. "Don't hate me, Jas," she whispered, twisting her manicured nails softly into my dark hair and raining kisses on my cheeks, my forehead, my neck, my lips.
"I... I fucking love you, Ceri!"
She didn't reply, but instead paused for a moment, her blue eyes filled with some emotion I couldn't place, before pinning me up against the door and slipping her tongue into my mouth, her hands greedily roaming over my body as she pulled my hoodie up, breaking our kiss for just seconds as she pulled the garment over my head, her tongue returning to my mouth as she guided me away from the door and into the living room.
Pushing me back onto the couch, she deftly slid her fingers under the waistband of my pyjama bottoms, into my plain black thong, expertly finding my clit and stroking softly. Soft, nimble fingers, stroking away my worries, making me forget there was anyone in the world besides me and her.
"I love you," I repeated, letting her pull my pyjama bottoms and thong off, leaving me in just my bra as I lay spread-eagled on the couch.
She looked up at me, her long eyelashes still damp from her earlier tears. "I know," she said simply, gently easing my legs apart and settling herself between them, moving her tongue to my pussy and starting to lick gently.
I closed my eyes, revelling in the feeling of her hot tongue as she flicked my clit back and forwards, her hands pressed against my inner thighs, her hair softly tickling against my legs as she licked and kissed my pussy.
"You taste amazing," she breathed, gently pushing a finger inside me, opening up my cunt for her tongue to slip inside.
I couldn't reply with anything more coherent than a moan.
I reached down, running my fingers through the molten gold of her hair, relishing this moment spent with her. Hot tears welled in the corners of my eyes as I realised this might be the last time I saw her, and I squeezed them tightly shut to try and block the feeling out.
"Jas," she whispered, sliding herself up my body, kissing me again, her tongue entwining itself around mine, letting me taste my own sweet pussy as my juices cooled on her lips. Automatically, my hands wandered to her breasts, cupping them through her t-shirt, hearing her moan as I squeezed gently.
She pulled her own top up, over her head, unhooking her bra in a fluid motion, kicking off her boots as she fought to be naked on top of me.
I unbuttoned her jeans, pushing them down her slender hips, getting them as far as her knees before I couldn't reach any further. She kicked those off beside the boots, and her expensive satin knickers joined the pile a second later.
I felt the hot wetness of her pussy mingle with my own as she ground her hips into mine, sending little jolts of passion down my body as her clit rubbed against me. Breathing heavily, I reached my arm down between our bodies and touched her cunt, feeling her rock immediately against my inquisitive finger as I probed her tight wet hole. "You want me," she purred, squeezing her pussy around my finger, rekindling my fears again that this would be the last time I saw her.
"I do. I love you," I repeated again, withdrawing my finger, wondering if her reply would be what I feared it would.
She didn't reply, just nodded and moved to kiss me again.
"You let me fall for you," I said, pushing her back and holding her at arms' length for a moment, realising that I wasn't going to get the reply I craved.
"I know. I'm sorry," she said.
"You'll never leave him, will you?" I asked.
She sighed. "I love him, Jas."
"So why fuck around?" I said, my voice breaking slightly.
She paused, sitting up, backing off and shifting away from me on the couch. I sat up too, curling my legs underneath myself, consciously making my body language as defensive as possible.
"Ever been engaged?" she said, twisting the solitaire diamond ring around on her finger. "Ever been sure that someone's right for you long-term, and you do want to spend the rest of your life with them... but there's something missing?"
I shook my head, waiting for her to continue.
"That's what it's like with Greg," she said. "He's brilliant. Hot, rich, a good job, nice guy, my mum loves him... but I feel trapped. I'm only 26. How can I know now that I want to spend the next 40, 50, 60 years with him? That's why I'm 'fucking around', as you call it. I need to make sure that he is right for me."
I looked at her in disbelief. "You know you might drive him away, doing this?" I said.
She shrugged. "Then he's not right for me."
I pressed my fingers to my temple, a headache starting to kick in. "You're fucked up, Ceri. When I love someone, they're all I think about. That's how I feel about you."
"I know," she acknowledged. "I love him, but I need to be sure that I'm sure. And I never wanted to hurt you, or mislead you... Fuck. I know I started this, so I'm probably making no sense."
I laughed hollowly. "You can say that again."
She reached out to touch my arm, but I flinched away from her. "I think you'd better just go," I said, ignoring my pulsing clit and unsatisfied, wet pussy, and bending to retrieve my pyjama bottoms from the floor.
Her eyes widened, and she reached out to me, but I moved backwards, pulling the crumpled trousers back up my legs and settling them on my hips. I folded my arms across my chest. "I mean it, Ceri, we're over."
"Jasmine... can't we...?"
I shook my head, swallowing hard, fighting to stay strong as I drove away the woman I loved.
"I'm not an experiment, Ceri. You can't use me to figure out how much you love Greg. I need someone who's all mine," I said, feeling my body start to physically shake. "Just go."
Silently, she pulled on her clothes, stood, and made her way to the door. "If you change your mind..."