My left shoulder was pinning a pillow against the window, while Sandy was resting her head on my right shoulder. My cheek rested on her silky brown hair. She was still sleeping as we began our descent. I lifted my head and placed my forehead on the window straining to see below us. It was dark outside even though it was only around 3 o'clock local time. As we began the descent, the plane fell in line with the clouds and the drops began to appear on the window. We passed through the clouds, and rain began splattering on the wing and window; I could still not yet see the earth beneath us. I watched the rain fall on the wing of the plane and thought that Sandy had matched if not surpassed the number of rain drops with her tear drops over the past year.
It was a very rough night when we heard the news. We held a tight embrace as we cried; tears ran unabated down our cheeks for what seemed like hours. Sobbing by Sandy that began as loud wails settled into the quiet cry where one is sucking for necessary air that had been lost to the sorrow. In the morning, after a few hours of scattered sleep, we began arranging with Berkeley school officials on a flight out.
There was a memorial service held for Jeff and the other students who had died in the accident. It was a strange feeling to be with the other grieving families. We were all going through the same crisis, yet none of us could possible understand what the individual loss meant to each and everyone one of us. I know for me that Jeff was a close friend in high school, providing me an outlet for my introverted personality. I felt ignored by my family, but Jeff was always willing to hang out with me. For Sandy , even I could not fully understand a mother's loss. Jeff was her only child. Her love for him would never be equaled by the number of tears shed for him.
The sky continued to cry. Sandy awoke when the flight attendants came around to prepare for landing. She lifted her head and red crease marks appeared on her cheek where her head had rested. Our arms interlocked as she grabbed my hand and gave it a squeeze as she tightened her seatbelt. My gaze went back to the window where there were no signs of the weather letting up.
We were on our way back from Arizona . Sandy had decided that Jeff would have liked to be cremated and have his ashes returned to the earth. When Jeff was six, Sandy and her husband vacationed there and it was probably there that Jeff fell in love with nature at the Grand Canyon and with the history touring the land of the Pueblo Indians. So on the year anniversary of his death, Sandy and I spent the occasion, my birthday, dusting Jeff's ashes over a southern cliff of the Canyon. It was a silent moment and turned into a very quiet trip of shared understanding.
My gaze left the window once we were low enough for me to recognize the land beneath us. I turned and looked at Sandy . Her hair was disheveled and her eyes bore the strain of countless sorrow. I squeezed her hand back as the rear tires hit the surface of the runway and then the front wheel tires. Our silence was not broken as we taxied and retrieved our baggage from the overheard compartments. In the cab ride home, with my arm wrapped around her waist, Sandy spoke. She grabbed my hands and brought them together in her lap and while looking at our hands interlocked whispered that she loved me. I wrapped my arm tighter around her to pull her closer to me. I took a deep breath enjoying the aroma of the shampoo she uses. I opened my mouth, but could not think of anything appropriate to say after such a somber week.
I awoke early the next morning. Before I opened my eyes I knew that Sandy was already awake. Her left hand was cupping my naked right breast, her arm extending down my body with her elbow pointing away from my belly button. I could feel Sandy resting her head on my left breast, her legs wrapped around mine. But what I could feel above all this were her eyes staring at me. I could tell she was watching me sleep awaiting my waking moment. I opened my eyes so that my eyes were staring at hers when my eyelids parted.
"Hi."
"Hi," I replied back.
"I haven't forgotten."
"You haven't?"
"No."
"Hmm, well I have. Clue me in?"
"Your 21st birthday!"
My milestone birthday had indeed arrived. I had spent that day, watching darkened ash fall slowly, drifting with the wind down the deep Canyon.
"Don't remind me how old I am. Ugh, so old."
"I know. I may have to find a younger girlfriend." Sandy lifted her head off my teat and gave me a soft but deep kiss on the lips.
"You know, I recall having on a T-shirt when I went to bed last night."
"You also had on panties."
I lifted off the sheet that covered our bodies and looked down at my waist. I could not see with Sandy 's leg draped over me. I slid her knee further down my legs. I saw my black pubic bush exposed.
"You must have been very tired. You didn't notice me take them off. I have been playing with your pussy for a half hour now waiting for you to wake up."
"You have been molesting me in my sleep!" I said pretending to be insulted.
"Well, you kept moaning yes."
I parted my legs and ran my hand over my mound and realized I indeed must have been moaning. My hand was soaked. I now noticed that Sandy was also naked. Her larger breasts already had erect nipples indicating an excited woman next to me. Her pussy was also shaved bald.
