"Don't steal me blind while I'm gone, Jon; I'll cut your fucking balls off if you do," I cheerily said in way of a goodbye.
Jon knew I was teasing, well, sort of anyway. I trusted Jon to run my business when I was away, or off; if he was stealing from me, I damned sure couldn't find it and believe me, I look, I always look. Over the years, I've caught a few thieves working for me and took appropriate action. With Jon, though, there's never been a problem in five years...and that's a good thing.
I was off on my yearly sabbatical; me, myself and I. I did this every year, during the summer, before football season began which was busy for bars. The difference this year was that I was doing it with new wheels.
My vintage Saab finally gave up the ghost, and while I could've repaired it, that would only have prolonged the inevitable. I gave the Saab to my mechanic, for him to salvage whatever parts could still be used for his business, which was a vintage European car repair shop. He's saved my ass a lot over the years and besides, he's a nice guy.
I treated myself to a new BMW sport sedan, loaded with all the goodies, and was about to take my first road trip in it. My target this year was the wine region of New York State and had set aside 2 weeks for the trip. The thing is, I could, and have in the past, change my mind on a whim, and go somewhere else. It's good to have a destination but it's also good to be flexible.
My friend, and lover, Marge was longing to go with me but her schedule simply wouldn't allow it. Since meeting Marge, I've been perfectly happy dilly-dallying in girly-land for my sexual release and she has been my most frequent playmate. Marge
really
liked threesomes and I must say that they have become a favorite pastime of mine, as well.
So it was with all of this on my mind that I left my bar to go home to pack, and to get a good night's sleep before I took off in the morning.
Well, if the road to hell is paved with good intentions, then I added another brick to the road.
*****
"Oh no, you can't leave yet, Slick," I heard Bobby's familiar voice say from behind me.
Bobby was a regular, one of my 'dyke' customers; always in control, never any trouble for me, and a pretty damned nice person, all in all.
"Bite me, Bobby," I smilingly replied when I turned to face her, "I'm leaving on vacation in the morning, so don't fuck with me," laughing after I said it.
She laughed along with me, adding, "Lucky cunt, wish it was me," walking up to me and giving me a friendly embrace in greeting.
Leaning close to me and lowering her voice, she said, "I've got some new stuff if you'd like to take some with you on your trip."
Did I mention that Bobby was my 'weed' connection?
No? My bad.
"Got it with you?" I asked, clearly interested, now.
"Hell no, Trish, you know better than that," she said and looking at me like I was an idiot, "it's at home and if you want some, let's just head over to my place."
"Sounds like a plan," I said, "I'll follow you."
Well, I'd still have time to pack after this bit of an unexpected detour. My stash was low, after all.
"Want to try it before you buy it?" she asked as she fished a quarter-pound out of a knapsack from under her couch.
"Like always," I said as I headed to her refrigerator to snag us a couple of beers.
We talked, mostly banal meaningless crap as she rolled a nice fat, and tight, joint. That done, she handed it over to me to fire up with a wicked smile on her face, warning me that this stuff was very potent.
She wasn't lying.
This shit was so good that I quickly calculated that an ounce of this herb would last me damned near a year.
"Maui Wowie" she said as she took the passed doobie from my fingers, "sent to me by my friend on the island."
Bobby worked for a not-to-be mentioned airline in our city, in the freight office. Her 'friend' on Maui held the same position.
'Nuff said, you people are smart; I'm sure you can connect the dots.
I've smoked a lot of weed in my forty years but this shit was really something beyond anything I had ever had before.
"Do me up an ounce, sweetcheeks," I said as I took the joint from her.
"With pleasure, sweetie, with pleasure," she smilingly replied.
While she did her thing with the scales and all, I sat back and bogarted the doobie, which was not a smart thing to do, given its potency. She finished her task and I was off in the ozone, eyes closed and enjoying a stone as I had never had before. I remember that Bobby took the roach from my fingers, relit it and then, ate it when it was done. I closed my eyes again and re-entered the ozone.
I felt the weight shift on the couch, felt it move closer to me but didn't bother to open my eyes to see the cause. I felt her breath on my cheek before I felt her lips on my skin; it felt nice, so I relaxed and made a quick, stoned decision to let the evening go where it will.
Sensing no resistance forthcoming, Bobby moved closer and continued to kiss the side of my face, my neck, hitting all the right spots. Her hand found my breasts and ever so nicely, began to fondle at will.
"That feels nice," I said after what seemed like an eternity of her kisses and touches.
"Yes it does, yes it does," she softly said before her lips pressed onto mine, my mouth opening to accept her probing tongue.
"I thought you were into guys," she said as she broke the kiss but continued to fondle my tits.
"And thinking so, you came on to me anyway?" I responded.
"Been wanting to kiss you for the two years I've known you," she replied, "and like the dyke that I am, I thought I'd take advantage of your stoned state of mind."
"Keep kissing me like this and I'll let you take advantage of other body parts, too," I replied in my smart-assed manner.
"Works for me," and her lips were back on mine with an increased passion that I responded to.
