"I tell you Mark, it was the strangest thing I ever heard, I mean right there on commercial radio two women... two women... well, they did what most of us guys would just love to see two women do, except you couldn't see them, you could only hear them."
"Now come on Paul, they were either acting, or you were hearing something different," Mark replied.
"No man, I know because I was there, I saw it happen."
"You saw it happen?"
"Yeah, now it was an odd setup to start with and things just went nuts."
"Paul, you're gonna have to start this from the beginning."
"Okay, okay, but mind you, it's all true, I was there."
Mark had heard Paul's bullshit before and this story was beginning to smell a bit suspicious, but he went along, "Look, you said it was on the radio, how in the hell did they get the women to do that on the radio?"
"That wasn't the original plan, originally it was a cooking show."
"A cooking show? On the radio?"
"Yeah, it was really strange. You see, with the popularity of cooking shows on TV recently, you know, like 'The Iron Chef' and those celebrity cook offs and things, this one radio station decided to give it a try on radio.
"Now, a cooking show on TV can play up two things on the cooking, the first is that you can see the food as it is prepared and second, you can hear it, you know, you hear the chopping, or the sizzling in the frying pan, like that. Well radio knew you couldn't see anything, but they decided they could make up for that by playing up on the sounds.
"Well, the format for the show was to use an in-studio narrator to discuss the ingredients and cooking instructions to two food preparers. Now to make it all interesting, the food preparers were not in the studio, they were sent out to various locations. So the narrator would instruct the preparers, who happened to be women, on the amount and preparation of ingredients.
"In the field, the two women and a sound guy worked together, emphasizing the sound of the preparation and cooking. The women also provided some color commentary, describing the appearance of the food in various stages of preparation, as well as adding some humor to the mix.
"On this particular trip, I was the sound guy, in charge of picking up and enhancing the sounds the women created while preparing and cooking the food. I also had to be sure to pick up their conversations as they ad-libbed most of their presentation. The premise of this show was a meal for a romantic getaway, something done on a grill.
"Now, with this getaway location, we worked with a very limited crew, just the two ladies, with me as the sound guy and two guys back in the truck. It was all kind of cozy and the women played up the romantic atmosphere of the location, teasing each other a bit as they began.
"The women were working with some wine marinated beef, chicken and shrimp that they were to cook on the grille. Well, from the start, for every teaspoon of wine flowing into the marinade, the women were drinking a glass of wine, again, emphasizing the romance of it all. As part of their dialogue while preparing the marinade, they mentioned how hot it was and asked if anyone minded if they removed their sweaters.
"Figuring the women were simply removing there cardigan sweaters, leaving a tee shirt or blouse underneath, the narrator invited them to get comfortable. Well, the women removed the sweaters along with everything else. So now I was recording two bare breasted women as they began cooking.
"When they basted the beef, chicken and shrimp, they kept a separate glass of wine and brush separate for themselves. So after basting the food, they began basting their own breasts, and sipping the wine off of each other. My attention was obviously divided between the sizzling food and the sizzling women as they began teasing and sucking each other's nipples more and more enthusiastically as the food continued to cook.
"I soon found myself cooking the food on my own, as the women settled onto the ground, kissing each other, first on the lips, then running down to their breasts and back up again. They did remain aware of the radio audience as they moan out comments as if they tasted the food, "Oh this has gotten so firm, it's almost ready," and "Oh yeah, this tastes so good."
"Soon they removed each other's pants and while the narrator and radio audience tried to figure out if the women were still cooking or if they were eating the food, as I concentrated the microphone in the middle of the action.