I had a trip planned to go with my girlfriend Anna to NYC and stay for 2 weeks on September 10th.
We were both very anxious to go there, because all our lives we heard people praising that wonderful, Eclectic City, and we never got to go, although we live so close by. See, my friend and I are both Jersey girls, and being so, you'd think we'd get to travel to NYC from time to time. It IS just a tunnel away. But, my parents, and hers even worse were very scared of the idea of a couple of girls running around those streets you keep hearing bad news about. So, we were still New York virgins till my 18th birthday (Anna was six months but something told me she wouldn't get to go either).
Finally, after days and weeks of begging and promising to have a complete day-plan submitted for approval, my parents gave in, and agreed to let us go for a 2 week trip! I was out of myself, until I realized Anna's parents are going to have to agree too, and after all I put my parents through just for their approval, I couldn't possibly ask them for help in convincing Anna's folks. Amazingly, as soon as the franks heard my parents agreed, they softened and let their daughter travel with me if only we'll give them a schedule beforehand.
By early September we both could hardly wait, and were done planning. We worked our asses off this summer for that trip, and since we both managed to do pretty well in our finals of high school, we were pretty certain nothing could stop our good times ahead.
Our original plan was to go on the 10th, rest the night in the hotel we booked, and start the day off early by going to the more "touristic" places. We thought a good place to start was probably the world trade center (Anna was going to business school next year, btw) and then, a stroll around the area, some shopping and a good place to have lunch. We headed off as planned, on time, and the minute we stood on NYC ground, we felt the energy of the place. True, it wasn't the shiniest of nicest neighborhoods this HUGE city had to offer, but we were just happy to be on our joined vacation already. Pretty reasonable, I think, given all the effort we put to it.
We slept very well (I always sleep well when I'm exhausted from excitement) and were ready to leave the hotel room by 20 to 7 am, when suddenly, I noticed Anna was just sitting on her bed, all dressed and ready, but not moving. "What's the matter, Anna?"
"I don't feel like going," she said in a very weird tone. Not complaining one, but more like a firm decision. "Why? That's where our fun day's going to begin, we talked about it for weeks, remember?"
"Do what you like. I'm not going" her tone was as self-assured as I have ever heard her speak. "Well, I can't go now! What, am I going to do our fun day alone?" I asked, and I admit it was in a tone a little more angry than I ever use. "I'm really sorry Jen, but I just don't feel good, okay? I'm kinda sick to my stomach, and I just feel bad about leaving our room now. You KNOW I'd never stop you from having a good time unless it's really something big. Well, this is big."
I had no idea how to answer that. Infact, I hardly recognized my best friend sitting just 3 feet away from me. I love her spirit, and I love being with her, but this was really unlike her, and a real bummer. "Well" I said, trying to appear as supportive as possible, "If you don't feel comfortable, I guess we'll just have to go there another time"
We just sat in silence for a few minutes. I felt like I should ask her more about this, but she seemed so distant right then.
"I'm really sorry about this" she finally blurred out, in the most 'I feel bad about this, but I don't regret it' kinda way. "It's okay I guess. You wanna just stay here, or go somewhere else?"
"Actually, I don't really feel like leaving the room" she sounded so scared saying that. Anna was ANYTHING but a scared person. No matter what challenges life had to offer, Anna was always the first to jump into the water. She was the first of all our friends to have something pierced, the first to get seriously drunk, and the first to have sex. Not only that, it was with someone she met at a party, not a boyfriend like most girls we knew. I myself always envied her fearlessness, and here she is, on the bed, almost paralyzed.
"Would you please come here and hold me? Please, I really feel bad right now..." she didn't look at me while she spoke, but I could guess what her eyes would probably look like right then. I came over quickly to her bed, and held her. She grabbed me tight, and I stroked her hair. We stayed that way for about two, maybe three hours. I couldn't believe how fast the time flew by while we were in that bizarre trance, but after those two hours she got up to go to the bathroom. "Are you feeling better?" I asked when she came back. "Yes, thank you" she said and smiled at me through her face that was still a little stuck in the frozen stare she kept all that time. I opened the shut curtain, which was left shut from the night before, and got very scared very quickly. It seemed like ash and a TON of dirt just floating in the air replaced the entire atmosphere. I couldn't see 4 feet outside the window, not the mention the sidewalk. I decided not to even try and open the window. Terrified, I asked Anna to turn on the TV. More relaxed, she obliged without questioning, and we got a clearer idea of what is happening all around us. I'm sure you all know what was happening on September 11th in NYC. We were scared to move a muscle; not sure if it's safe to go outside the room, but on the other hand not sure how safe it was to stay inside. Now it was my turn to panic. "How can you be so calm, Anna? We can die here today!" I nervously asked my friend after noticing the unbelievably relaxed mood she was in. "I know we can" Was all she said. That one just drove me off.
"What?! What is wrong with you?! First you act all psycho, then, at the face of this..." I couldn't really find the words .."horrible 'thing' going on around us, you sit, so apathetic that I could kill you?" just then I realized, that if we would go to the WTC as planned, we would probably be dead right now. Anna's weird panic attack probably saved our lives. I looked at her, realizing this, and all I could think of is how to find the words to express how sorry and grateful I am. She gave me a look, almost the opposite of her 'panic' look, and faced the TV screen again.
"I'm so..." I tried. "Come sit next to me" she suggested. I sat down. I couldn't really understand what was going on, both outside, and in our room, but being near Anna made me feel somewhat protected. Just when I was thinking I couldn't have picked better company for this moment she said: "I love you."
I started crying. She didn't even look at me, and just started petting my head and stroking my hair. I soon cried myself to sleep.