Well, how is my 'New Beginning'
It had been sweltering for the last few days of my holiday. A holiday I needed after the courts had finally rid me of my violent husband. A change of life, no more having to lie about things or needing to explain my movements to anybody. My children were now in there twenties and although myself already past my fiftieth birthday, well life was taking a new pathway that only I knew where it was going.
Really it had been a non-eventful week so far, found myself walking a lot; the scenery really is second to nowhere that I know. A time for reflecting, wondering as well. Really although I should have been excited and relieved, lots of times I look back and wonder whether I made the right decision to leave what security I had behind for something, well something that could be just as horrible, or even worse.
I was lucky that my hotel had air conditioning, otherwise I doubt whether I would have shut my eyes for all the holiday, my mind playing those tricks that still expected a banging of my locked door and a drunken, screaming man outside demanding what he had a right to. A right! He gave those up eighteen years previously when phoning my work up declaring I had caught a virus. A concerned college came and visited me and he was suddenly confronted with a badly battered me.
If I could have remained hidden from the world, well who knows where I'd be now. But without my knowledge I was visited by the local police and a doctor who has now become my closest friend. She took photos of the bruises, but I insisted that nothing be done to my husband, mainly for the sake of the kids. To be fair, he hardly ever got another chance throughout our marriage together. I had been advised that no matter what, I had to throw something, anything at him if he started it again.
A misaimed plate was sent smashing through my window and startled neighbours were the next to see the battered and almost reclusive me.
Also, it was nice that the hotel was very quiet, evenings were spent at the bar, usually alone but often over the course of the evening I was joined by other probably lonely people. One guy, Mark I think his name was became friendly over the few days we were together. He was down that way on business, obviously married, but he was my free meal ticket. Although we spent hours talking and drinking one night feel sure my depression was contagious and although, looking back he kept bringing up the 's' word, we were soon off that and talking about my boys or his work or whatever. Needless to say a hug and a peck on his cheeks were going to be all he was going to get from me that night . Wednesday evening and he ignored me completely, almost laughing for the first time that week I noticed he had picked up something off the street and the champagne bottles were building up on his table. Not sure whether it was jealousy or the intense heat that night, but hearing them laughing together made me feel decidedly uncomfortable even being in the same hotel as them. It was hot and my silk loose dress was sticking to me as I decided to stroll along the beech. Had used a box of tissues drying my face when from the night sky a heavy drop of rain hit me on my shoulder, another and then lots. Suddenly the coolness took over as I held my hot face up to the sky so as to invite the rain to wash my face free of all my pent-up feelings inside.
The sky was suddenly alight and thunder was all around. The few pairs of lovebirds making love within the dunes were dashing for the sanctuary of the hotel. Like a fool I was facing into the wind, dripping wet, but I felt so free and no one else mattered in this world.
The heavy rain and crashes of thunder prevented me hearing somebody approaching me. Reaching for my hand it was Angel, a very smart woman I had met in the bar previously. We hadn't talked much then, didn't this time either. She like me seemed to be at one with the storm.
