Tidal Wave On A Blind Date

(F/F, oral, anal, masturbation, toys, angry cab drivers, perverted subway riders)

NOTE: I know this is long for a one-part piece. For a while I considered breaking it up into two parts, but as I patrolled the story for a breaking point nothing screamed at me. Not even a 'maybe here' or a 'this could work'. You might disagree and find that perfect place, and maybe I worried too much about finding a perfect place. But I also worried about breaking the flow and energy I feel the story has from start to finish. Either way I just wanted to let you know that I tried.

DISCLAIMER: Don't do anything stupid because of what you read here.

5.

Normally I'm relaxed on a Friday because it's the start of the weekend, but this one was very different. I couldn't decide if I was more excited than nervous or more nervous than excited. Some would say it's easy to tell because one has positive feelings and the other has negative feelings, but they both have many of the same sensations, and when you're switching between the two about once every four minutes it can be hard to tell which one is more predominant. Unfortunately things at my job were so uncommonly slow that I wasn't provided much distraction. Even worse, the two people who knew I was going on a blind date kept coming over to my cubicle.

"The amazing Miss Wang," Marcus announced as he put a folder on my desk. "You excited about tonight?"

"Are you kidding? This is my first date in almost two years. The other day I got excited when a woman on the subway started eyeing up my shoes."

Later when Gwen came over I was busy holding fingers to my wrist. "So Gretchen," she asked. "You nervous about tonight?"

"Jesus Christ Gwen this is my first date in almost two years." I held out my wrist to her. "Try and find a pulse, I think I'm having a heart attack."

4.

So things weren't much better by the time I left work. At five o'clock the streets of Manhattan are teeming with working stiffs like me, on their way to happiness, sorrow, boredom, or in my case, nervous excitement. When I first moved to the city I thought I would miss having a car, but as it turns out navigating the busy sidewalks is no different than driving on the street -- there are several lanes of traffic on any sidewalk and you have to pick a lane otherwise you get into a collision. Then the guy in front of you is moving too slow, probably talking on his cell phone, but suddenly you see an opening and you switch lanes and speed up. Luckily running red lights at the crosswalk is more acceptable if you're a pedestrian.

I took the subway downtown and started walking the four blocks to my apartment, trying to get home as quickly as possible. The date was happening at a hotel bar in Midtown at seven o'clock and I had plenty to do in the next hour and forty minutes. I needed time to shower and get dressed. I also needed time to catch a cab rather than take the subway, since the train involved more walking and a cab could drop me off right at the bar. And finally, I needed time to fret over every single thing that could go wrong.

Suddenly there was a loud boom. I slowed down, because if I stopped I'd have been run over, and looked around nervously for the source. Ever since 9/11 a sound like that makes me freak a little. I wasn't alone either; it was in the eyes of others around me and some of them were looking around too. As the sound of the boom rolled away into the sky, I felt a drop of water on my face. Looking up at the steel gray clouds I took my umbrella out of my bag thankful that it was only nature.

3.

I was no longer thankful it was only nature by the time I turned down my block. Those first few drops turned into a full-on downpour, and despite my umbrella I was soaked to the bone. This wasn't the type of rainstorm where you merely seek cover; this was a 'start building an Ark and grab two of every animal' rainstorm. When I got into my apartment I found the only animal I'd acquired so far, my black cat Angus. He was lounging atop his perch on the cushioned seat in front of my makeup table, King of the Apartment.

I kissed him on the head and proceeded to peel off my clothes and jump in the shower, where the warm water felt so good compared to the cold October rain outside. Afterwards I put on deodorant, covered myself with a new body spray that made me smell like a peeled orange, and put makeup on my face. Most of my facial features reflect my Chinese father, and I usually joke (mostly to my therapist) that all of my mother's German features are on the inside of my head. I fiddled with my mop of black hair until, hopefully, it looked like I hadn't fiddled with it at all.

All during this time I tried to keep my mind off of what could go wrong tonight, with mixed results. This was my first date in almost two years. It had been a voluntary sabbatical, for several reasons. First, my last relationship ended as badly as a relationship can, second, the lesbian dating scene in New York City is smaller than you think, and third, I hate having to go through a whole night of effort only to discover you don't like her or she doesn't like you. The first reason was the strongest, but the second came in a close...well, second. After dating more than six or eight lesbians in this town, the next girl you date has probably been with one or more of your ex-girlfriends. These exes tend to mention a few things about you that they liked, and then blab plenty about what they didn't like. Imagine you're on a first date, and then suddenly she realizes you're 'that' girl, the one she heard has odor issues, or is cheap or controlling, or is cheap and controlling and has odor issues, or, worst of all, cheated on them. Suddenly your new relationship is over before it started.

Only two things kept me feeling good about the date. One was the red dress I found in the window of a small boutique on Mott Street, which was a nice combination of subtle and sexy, cut just enough in the right places to make people say, "Look at that..." without the next words being, "...what a slut!" This was important for me, because after feeling like crap about myself for the last two years I wanted to look good and feel sexy. The other thing is that I finally have a chance to wear my lucky dating anklet again. I put it on and looked at it, a simple gold chain around my left ankle. It had been giving me good luck on dates for years, which I would need if I ever hoped to have sex with a real live woman sometime soon instead of the electronics I've been using.

That's all it took to get me thinking about sex, that and looking at myself naked in the mirror. It's the most live nudity I've seen in almost two years. I'm pathetic. Suddenly I jumped on my bed and reached underneath to the box that held my sex partners. Opening it up, I took out a clitoral kiss, a vibrator, a set of anal beads and a bottle of lube. I lubed up the anal beads and then put a glob on my finger, reached under my butt and fingered my rosebud until it opened up, sticking my finger all the way up there and then fingering myself until I popped in the anal beads one by one. While I did this Angus gave me a look that said, "This again?" I used a fresh towel to wipe off my hand and then I slid the clitoral kiss's ring part over my finger and started it up. Spreading my lower lips with my fingers, I started moving it over my love button and moaned. I took my other hand away from holding my lips open and tweaked my right nipple, pinching and pulling at it.

Angus probably got tired of watching this spectacle again. He jumped down off his perch and left the room. I brought my hand back down to hold open my lips again, and a few moments later tweaked my nipples again. Then I reached over to the night table and grabbed two clips. They were nipple clamps, but with soft, rounded plastic edges, so they would keep pressure on my nipples without hurting. As I clipped each one on it increased the sensations coursing through me. I was going good and strong at this point, so I grabbed the vibrator and brought it to my now soaked crotch. After rubbing it around to get it lubricated, I started slowly sliding it into my hole. I let out a load moan as it slid in, and then let out a gasp as it got to the innermost point. Bringing it back out slowly again, and then increasing the speed as I pushed it back in. I took away the clitoral kiss for a moment and then put it back, teasing my nub and making sure I didn't over stimulate it.

I felt the orgasm coming, so I left the vibrator halfway inside me and grabbed the end of the anal bead string. I brought the clitoral kiss up just enough to where it was just teasing my clit, and that was it. As the orgasm exploded inside of me I started rocking hard back and forth on the bed, and that's when I slowly pulled out the anal beads. I cried out as the added sensation doubled the power of my orgasm and kept it going until the last bead moved past my rosebud. A few last spasms rocked my body as I lay there, a quivering pool of flesh and nerves. My breath was coming in ragged gasps, but as I lay back to catch my breath my eyes caught sight of the clock. Holy shit I was going to be late! Not a great first date move.

I started to put my dress on, but in my rush I didn't unzip the back far enough and got stuck with it halfway over my head. That's right when the phone rang. "Crap!" I yelled out. Blindly stumbling over to the handset sitting on the floor, I used my toe to deftly stab the 'Speakerphone' button.

"Hello?" I started struggling with the dress some more.

"Hey sweetie!" It was my friend Olivia, who had set up tonight's date. "You getting ready for the big night?"

"Well," I grunted in frustration with the dress still over my head. "I'm halfway dressed."

"Great! I can't wait for you two to meet! I just know you and Josie are going to hit it off."

"Can I get that in writing?"

"Guaranteed results sweetie." Then she quickly added, "But no returns and no money back. And if tonight's meeting results in a long term commitment, then you, heretofore designated the date-ee, assumes all risk of heartbreak and emotional turmoil as a result of said commitment."

I stopped struggling. "Okay, you've been doing contract law wayyy too long."

"Rule number one, always cover your ass."

"And what a cute ass it is."

"Hey! No flirting with the straight girl. Stay in your silver star lesbian corner."

"It's gold star silly. Girls only. And I was just giving you a compliment."

"Oh please give'em! Justifies the gym membership. But you've got a date with one of your own tonight, so eyes on the prize sweetie."

"And exactly how did the straight girl find another gold star lesbian anyway?"

"That's rule number two, always keep industry secrets secret."

"You're in the industry of mating lesbians now?"

"I think every person on this planet deserves romance."

I finally got the dress onto my body, but despite the clothing I suddenly felt a chill. It was the feeling that had been haunting me for these past two years. "I'm not sure I deserve romance..."

"Oh God, not this again."

"I'm just not sure I'm ready to get back out there."

Olivia was silent for a moment. When she spoke again it was in her serious tone, which meant she wasn't looking to hear any bullshit. "Sweetie, did you join a convent since the last time I saw you?"

"No."

"Then you're ready! You are beyond ready. The sex toys under your bed would scream that you're ready but they're too damn tired."

"I know, I just..."

"Gretch, it's been almost two years. I think it's time to move on. Don't you?"

I remained silent. Finally Olivia asked "I gave you Josie's cell phone number, right?" Which meant the pre-date jitters part of the conversation was over.

"Yes Miss Overly-Competent."

"Oh wow, look at the time! You'd better hurry up or you'll be late! Don't want to be late on a first date."

"Well if I wasn't on the phone..."

"That reminds me, after you guys part for the night I want a phone call."

I smiled. "I thought this was guaranteed results. Why do you need a phone call afterwards?"

"Not because I'm looking to confirm how it went, sweetie. I just want to gloat and hear that you'll buy me drinks forever."

2.

By six twenty-five I was out the door. It was still raining, but this was no longer an apocalyptic downpour. The drops were coming down soft and steady and my large umbrella kept me dry. The sun was down and my long coat was buttoned against the cold as well as the rain. I'd opted for calf length black boots to get me around the huge puddles of water that always collected at the corners during a big storm. And there were plenty of them. The streets were full of water and every corner had a miniature lake around it. I walked to the end of my block where Eighth Ave would give me a straight shot up towards Midtown. All I had to do was catch a cab.

Of course every cab that passed was already occupied thanks to the rain. Into my head came the thought that this was a sign I should call off the date, but I quickly dismissed it as the thinly disguised fear I'd been feeling before. I considered calling Josie to let her know I might be late, but I didn't want to hit the panic button just yet. So I gave it a few more tries, then gave up when I looked at my watch and saw it was six forty-three. A cab was no longer an option.

I walked a block, took two flights of stairs underground and hopped on the E train. It wasn't until the doors closed that I remembered calling Josie. No signal down here. I'd have to wait until I got on ground level again. The subway car was packed and I unbuttoned my coat to keep from sweating. It was standing room only, and bodies bumped up against each other as the train rocked around a bend. That's when I felt a hand grab my ass. He was slow compared to all the other times I'd experienced this, because I half turned and whacked his hand with my closed umbrella.

"Ow!" he yelled. He was around forty, with a big, meaty face and wearing a baseball jacket.

I looked right at him and said, "Scumbag."

The idiot didn't even try to deny it, just stared at me for a moment before he turned and pushed his way to the end of the car. A woman around my age smiled and said, "Nice one." She'd probably experienced it herself. I smiled. It's rare when you can catch a perv doing that.

1.

Two minutes after seven I was climbing the stairs to the sidewalk. It was still raining. I didn't stop to button my coat, just opened my umbrella and proceeded to walk briskly. Now I was already late and had to cover two blocks to get to the bar. If it were two blocks going north or south I wouldn't complain because those are average length blocks, but I had to go east to west and those blocks are two to three times longer. Making things even worse were the aforementioned corner puddles that required six strides just to get around. One was so big that I christened it 'Piss-Me-Off Lake'. While waiting for a red light at the next corner I remembered about calling Josie. Shit! I started fumbling through my purse for the phone, and that's when I heard a horn honk. I looked up and saw a cab coming at high speed. The wheels hit the mini lake in front of me and sent up a wall of water the size of a tidal wave. It was one of those moments where time slowed down, and for some reason I can never move any faster in these moments.

When the wave hit it covered every inch of me: my legs, my dress, my face, my jacket, my hair...everywhere. I was soaked. If I'd closed my coat when leaving the subway I would have spared the dress, only my hair and makeup would have been screwed up and those would have been fixable. But the dress was drenched, and I had turned into a walking puddle. I stood there frozen, my mouth agape, my brain trying to process what had happened while at the same time trying to deny it. I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs, but nothing came out of my mouth except a little bit of water.

0.

I found refuge under the awning of a Broadway show, Spring Awakening, oddly enough. It was time to call Josie and cancel the date. Obviously this wasn't about my fears anymore. And yet, I couldn't help feeling a bit of relief as I dialed her number.

"Hel-lo." Josie answered in an almost singsong voice.

"Is this Josie?"

"Yep. Is this Gretchen?"

"Yes. Listen, I'm sorry but I'm going to have to cancel. I'm really, really sorry."

Josie chuckled. "That's okay. At least I got to meet Dan here. Say hello Dan."

I heard a muffled "Hello."

"Dan's in town for a convention and he bought me a drink before I could tell him I only date the same sex. So now I have a chance to buy him one back."

"That's good," I said, my voice garbled as I swallowed and tasted more of the street water in my mouth. "Again, I'm so sorry about canceling."

"So, uh, when do you want to reschedule for? How's tomorrow night?"

"Oh shit!" came out of my mouth as a cold wind blew and chilled me to the bone.

There was a pause. Josie asked, "Are you okay?"

"I'm all wet."

"Huh?"

"It was a tidal wave."

"Hang on, what happened?" she asked. "And what's that noise?"

I hadn't realized my teeth were chattering. The cold didn't seem so bad when I was dry, but now that I was dripping wet it felt like I was standing inside of a freezer. I explained that to Josie, and what led up to it as well, finishing the story with, "Ten minutes ago I smelled like an orange peel and now I smell like a sewer."

"Where are you now?"

"About a block away on Thirty-fourth. I'm sorry, but there's no way we can do this tonight. I've got to go home, if I can catch a cab."

"You stay put. I'll be there in a few minutes."

"No, wait," I protested, but I realized she'd hung up and I was only talking to my cell phone. "Aaarrrggghhh!!" I growled. This had to be the worst night in my life next to the time a drunken ex-girlfriend threw up on me during sex. Part of me wanted to leave, standing her up seemed more favorable compared to having her first visual impression of me reminiscent of the last wet cat she saw. But another part of me felt so defeated I couldn't even move. A fleeting idea to find a mirror and fix my hair and makeup was met with hugging myself harder and starting to cry. I thought about the last two years of my life and how pathetic I'd been. Going out and getting drunk with friends or staying at home and watching TV with my cat, anything to avoid thinking too hard about Elizabeth and how that all ended.

A car horn pulled me out of my thoughts. I hadn't noticed the cab that had pulled up to the curb. The window rolled down and a blonde haired girl stuck her head out.

"Gretchen?" she asked. I nodded and she smiled. Actually 'smiled' doesn't cover it. Her whole face lit up, and it was a face that conveyed plenty. It expressed warmth, compassion, joy, and little bit of mischief. She opened the door and said, "Come on!"

I hesitated. No, I was stunned. Rendered immobile by how much just seeing her face had affected me. My teeth were no longer chattering, and suddenly I realized I wasn't so cold anymore. It took a moment to deduce the cause -- my pulse was racing at the mere sight of this girl.

Finally I moved and got in the cab, across the seat from Josie in the flesh. Her facial features had a Nordic quality, her pale complexion only colored by a few freckles on her cheeks, her lips were full and inviting, her eyes big and blue and warm. Even in the dim light she looked incredible. She said, "Are you okay?"

At the same time the cabbie turned and asked, "Where you ladies going?"

I looked at him. "Did you drive past here fifteen minutes ago?"

"Nope."

"Well one of your buddies did, and if I ever find him I'm going to kill him. Probably by drowning."

Josie said, "So that's a 'no' on the okay question..."