A former partner had told me, after he had finished with me sexually (which was long after he was done with me emotionally), that I was in desperate need of lessons in seduction. Realising he did not plan to teach me what I was lacking, I sought another arena. A destitute writer, living off the 'artiste grant' kindly supplied by my parents (who thought me to be studying teaching), and hungry for adventure I set off on an expedition that would change my view of sensuality and sexuality forever. However, my first encounter with seduction was not all I hoped it to be.
It was in 1969, I found myself on the platform of Spencer Street Station in Melbourne mingling in the crowd, freshly off the train, pondering how I might shed the constraints my parents had so thoughtlessly placed on me. Sipping on a flask that one of my previous partners had conveniently misplaced the day we went out separate ways and feeling unusually self-conscious, I walked over to a vendor and asked for a packet of cigarettes. On my way back to the platform for more observation, I noticed two young men, not so older than myself, exchanging furtive glances.
Unwittingly, I changed my course of direction and followed them (as discreetly as possible) until they reached a narrow street and tucked themselves around a corner on the edge of an alleyway. I positioned myself behind a car on the opposite side of the street.
One man was pushed up against the wall; his chin raised as the other man kissed him passionately on his neck. Never in my life had I seen two men kiss one another on the cheek, let alone passionately on other areas of the body. I felt intrigued, disgusted and aroused. I pulled out my cigarettes. In my state of arousal, I cared little about being caught out as a voyeur.
As the man who had been pushed against the wall let his hand disappear into the other man's cords, I realised I did not have any matches. With a raised eyebrow and a cigarette to my lips, I approached the two men,
'There's something about watching two men that makes a girl feel like a cigarette.'
They looked at me startled and hastily began to cover up parts that a girl wasn't meant to see. I stopped them with a flick of my wrist, and asked for a match. With a cast of indifference, I noticed their cocks, erect from an allure of chance, the touch of a firm hand, a wet tongue.
One of the men lit the cigarette, a bead of sweat sliding from his forehead to his chin as he spoke,
'Did anybody else see us?' I shook my head,
'No one else has to know. It can be our little secret. However...' I let my voice trail off.
My hand ran loosely across his firm chest, a cigarette burn millimetres away, and my foot positioned between his legs. I gazed at him; thick brown curls were nestled above a high forehead, Cimmerian eyes with lily surrounds, languid lips that fell apart slightly.
'Thanks, it's probably best if we get going now.' He nodded his head slightly as he removed my hand which, in a masquerade of innocent gesture, was hanging in the air above the tip of his cock, did up the button to his cords and disappeared around the corner. His lover followed him without so much a gesture of yearning towards me.
My cheeks tinged, burnt with rejection.
***