The last story in The Vicar Series has been a long time coming and I'm sorry it's taken so long but I never knew how to finish it. In the end I opted for simplicity, these two women love each other so why not bring them together in a more permanent way? The Birds and Bees B & B in Maldon doesn't exist from what I can see so I made it up. I hope you enjoy this last Vicar story.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonour others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
*****
I Corinthians 13: 4-7
The current debate was one Janine had followed closely, all the more because the decision taken would directly impact her, if she was found out. For the last few months she'd been involved with Katie Goldsmith, a lawyer from London who had a second home in the village. The official policy of the Church of England towards the LBGT community could best be described as a dog's breakfast. Officially you could actually be gay and still be a vicar but that came with a caveat that you must remain celibate, but in Wales and Scotland there was a concerted effort to push back against the general consensus. The debate had the potential to split the church down the middle if cooler heads didn't prevail.
But the other week the House of Bishops had reaffirmed the age old edict that marriage was only possible between a man and a woman, and it was a lifetime commitment. They did however offer an olive branch to progressives by saying the conversation was not over but for Janine it felt as if the door had been slammed in her face.
She stared out the window at the horizontal rain lashing the street. Today was Thursday and she had to pack her suitcase for the visit to London tomorrow. Her romantic liaisons with Katie had at first been every week but the last month and a half it had been every two weeks. Katie might indeed be mentoring up and coming lawyers, but she was still busy with her own case load. At least three times a week she had appointments with government departments and then she had to meet with her clients to discuss options. Somewhere amongst that she had to fit in a social life, which included her friends and then there was her love life. Lately Janine had begun to feel as if she had to slot in an appointment with her lover.
The ringing bell disturbed her reverie and she hurried to the front door of the vicarage. The woman outside looked slightly bedraggled and Janine managed a smile as she stepped aside to let Mary inside.
"I'm sorry about this, I'm not disturbing you, am I?"
"I live to be disturbed," Janine smiled, "it's part of my job description. I was just about to make some tea, would you like some?"
"Please," Mary unbuttoned her coat, "white with two."
She hung her coat on the rack in the hallway and followed Janine through into the kitchen, she fluffed out her hair and eyed the dishes in the dish rack.
"I forgot to bring those dishes over again."
"Oh," Janine eyed the rack, "that's fine, I'm still using the old dishes."
"Well you'll get them soon enough," she sat down at the table, "I'm leaving him."
Janine pictured Mary's husband, Frank. He was not a regular churchgoer but did drop in whenever there was a wedding or funeral, although christenings were a bit beyond him.
"Does Frank know yet?"
"He does but he doesn't know the truth."
"I'm confused," Janine filled the kettle.
"He doesn't know who I'm leaving him for."
"So, you're actually leaving him?"
Mary nodded and Janine folded her arms and looked straight ahead as she collected her thoughts. Mary had been going to leave Frank for as long as she could remember. One of her first sessions with Mary had been about her loveless marriage and although there had been brief moments of respite, eventually she came full circle and went back to complaining about her marriage. Today was the first time she'd actually specified she was going to leave him for someone else.
"Who?" Janine's eyes shifted.
Mary looked away and Janine put her hands on the sink and braced herself.
"Is it someone local or out of the county? I don't need to know a name and it's not a sin in my book although some might say it should be but I'm practical."
"It's a woman," Mary replied.
It didn't register for a split second and then she blinked.
"You look shocked."
"Surprised," she pursed her lips, "I would have expected you to leave Frank for a man but tell me, how did this happen?"
"I met her through her brother at a church fête, I was attracted to him first but then he introduced me to Jane and just left us alone."
The story came out in fits and starts as Janine made the tea. The relationship had been just a simple friendship. Jane was a divorcee, having just come out of a twenty five year marriage and so the two women had something in common, more or less. It was through opening up to Jane about her own marriage that things began to develop. Jane was initially trying to save Mary's marriage but when she saw that it was a lost cause the two became intimate friends and then intimate on a physical level. Nevertheless, there was still a major hurdle to get over. Neither woman identified as gay and then like a bolt from the blue, God had spoken.
"It was your sermon the other Sunday, just after the House of Bishops issued that statement. You said that in the end the only prerequisite for marriage was love, in all its forms. I went home and looked at Frank sitting in front of the telly watching the racing and realised the prerequisite for our marriage didn't exist but I did love Jane. I decided then and there to leave him. He fought it of course because he can't exist without someone running after him, but I've put twenty years into this marriage and I feel lonelier now than I did when I started out."
The loss of passion was something to which Janine could relate very well. When she was younger she had a passion for church work and thought this a life time commitment but these last couple of years the lustre had rubbed off. She was in her early thirties and according to the basic laws of physiology she should be at her peak and with Katie she was there but their union was forbidden under church dogma.
Mary's situation had been sorted out relatively easily. She merely wanted reassurance, a sounding board for something she'd already decided and yet she could have tried to convince her to stay and save her marriage.
"Why save something that isn't worth saving?" Janine told her, "I'll still treat you the same, you might experience some fallout from people who might not understand. You might even lose friends but you'll also gain friends."
Why can't I take my own advice?
Janine stared out at the rain-slicked street. Mary had been gone for the better part of two hours and soon she'd have to get dinner ready.
Another dinner on my own.
She sat on the sofa and contemplated the sketch pad on the coffee table. Last month she'd bought a sketch pad, pencils and charcoal from an art supplies shop in London. She'd focused on art in her last two years of high school but then the church took over. However just recently the urge came on her and so she'd started drawing again. Her first few sketches were rudimentary but gradually Janine had started turning out better work. She flipped through to the last sketch she'd done as she mentally transferred it to a canvas. It was one of the church and she frowned.
Why don't I do more of this?
Janine stared at the sketch. She would have to buy canvas, paint and brushes, and an easel. She looked up at the paintings on the wall. Some had been here since she'd moved in, others she'd bought at charity shops or fêtes. None of them were her work.
