"I don't want to hear about how the gardener you're hired is working out or anything else about the garden you're putting in down at Aquia Cove except in resale potential. I want to hear a date when you've moving up here to my apartment in Alexandria, Stacy."
Jason didn't couch it in terms of an ultimatum, but that essentially was what it was—what it had been for the past three months that I'd continued with the renovations on the cottage overlooking the Aquia Cove off the Potomac River north of Fredericksburg, Virginia. I had continued despite Jason's increasingly expressed distaste for the place and my continuing with my plans to renovate and keep the house. This part of Jason Jamison, who was an aide to a deputy secretary in some administration or other in Washington, D.C., was coming out more and more by day and was as irritating as it was distressing.
He was taking the same tack with my writing. I was a novelist—Romance novels. It paid the rent and I enjoyed it. But it was too low-brow for Jason, especially after he read one. He called it erotica, but I let him know that the Romance genre was more open now and that what I wrote certainly did rise to being erotica. But he'd said, "You'll have to change that after we're married. I can't tell people in government that my wife writes dirty novels."
"They aren't dirty novels," I said, gripping the cellphone hard, while I looked out toward the river view at three sides of my enclosed back porch study and watched Tonya, my new garden trimming a holly bush. He certainly didn't mind doing stuff in bed with me that was way more kinky than anything I had put in a novel—well, so far. I'd been tempted to do more.
"They're trash," Jason declared, and I clicked the phone off.
He'd become increasingly domineering and overbearing. I'm not sure it had been a good idea to allow him in my bed. Suddenly after that he took over and was telling me what I could and could not do in my life. I couldn't write my Romance novels. I couldn't renovate this bungalow I'd found on the river and loved, even to the point of keeping it as a retreat from Washington, D.C. I'd told him that I was able to write here, not in the hustle and bustle of the D.C. area, but he'd made no effort to understand that.
Neither had Ted before him. When I'd first brought Ted here, he couldn't see the potential in this place other than a place to fuck. If only he could see it now—restored. The only improvement left was the garden, and finding Tonya to work on that had been a godsend. She'd come as a parttime worker in a local nursery to advise on what to put in where, and I'd hired her to work parttime in putting it in. After it was in, I hoped to be able to keep her parttime to keep it alive and looking good.
I tried going back to my writing, but when I found that I was writing my protagonist as being more than a bit more risqué than was my usual form—and with a woman rather than a man, I came back in the real world. Perhaps part of my problem was that Tonya was weed whacking now right outside my study's bank of windows. What was now my study had once been a glass-enclosed back porch. I stood and went to the window and watched her for a while. She was such a beautiful young woman—ebony but statuesque, always moving with assurance. I rapped on the window and, by hand gestures, invited her to come in for a break to share a beer with me. I told myself that it was to end the racket she was making with the weed whacker so that maybe I could get back to work. But I think it was to put some stirrings to rest. If that had been the case, it didn't work. It didn't put the stirrings to rest; it gave substance to the stirrings.
We sat on Adirondack chairs on what was now the back porch, overlooking water on three side, swigging beers and chatting amicably. What I'd wanted to settle, though, got exacerbated.
"Here we are, two women alone this weekend," I said.
"Isn't Mr. Jamison coming down for the weekend?" she asked.
"No. He's bogged down in his job in Washington, D.C." I didn't want to reveal that he loathed this place and wanted me to sell, which would end Tonya's employment here.
"Suits me," she said. "I'm just as glad there are no men in the house here."
Honesty time. I wouldn't force her to pretend about Jason, especially when I wasn't all that sure about him right now myself. "Oh? I know you didn't take to Jason much. But are you down on all men?"
"I'm sorry. It's out of place for me to talk about Mr. Jamison."
"Oh, let's be honest about everything here. If you don't like Jason—or men in general—we should be open with each other about that."
"We should be entirely open with each other," she said, giving me a rather pointed look, which set me back a bit. But I recovered and she went on, "Down on most men, yes."
"You don't have much use for men?"
"I've never met one who didn't want to use me or anyone else for his own need. I'll have to say that even though I haven't had much of a look at him, I get that same idea from that man of yours, Mr. Jamison. I don't think he's half good enough for a handsome woman like you, with writing talent, and the gumption to restore a place like this. I think you should hang on to your independence."
She'd said I was handsome, which hit a tender spot. "You don't think I'm too . . . plump?" I asked. I'd had a lifetime battle with what some charitably had called curviness.
"I think you're just right. Curvy. I think it's called voluptuous. Women pay plastic surgeons to give them what you could rightly call your joy and glory."
I smiled at that and must have shifted in my seat and pushed my breasts out a bit, because she gave me a pointed look and said, "If you're asking me what I think you're asking me, no, I don't go with men. I go with women. I'm sorry if that surprises or angers or makes you uncomfortable. But that's the way it is. If you don't—"
"No, no, that's fine, Tonya. I wasn't prying for that." But wasn't I, I wondered. "It does surprise me, but that's all."
"And it doesn't make you uncomfortable—the two of us being here, alone?"
"No, not that either," I said. But it did disturb me in some way. This was the opposite of what I had thought I'd been establishing in this little chat. I had found I was writing a character like Tonya into my novel and that I was finding her very attractive—and not just in looks. I thought a chat with Tonya would dispel that character from my thoughts and the novel, but I could see now that it wouldn't. "No, it's just fine for it to be just us women at the bluff for now. I'm hoping that things settling down would help me get my current novel finished."
"Well, for that to get done, best we both get back to work then," she said, a bit gruffly.
"Yes, that's a good idea," I agreed, standing and taking her empty beer can from her.
For some time later, though, I stood at the window watching Tonya work in the garden rather than sitting back down at the computer. I'm sure she realized I was watching her. Then, still restless, I decided to take a long bubble bath and then dress and go into Fredericksburg for a drink and dinner for the first time in a long time. I was feeling restless and more than a bit rebellious after Jason's demanding telephone call and the evocative chat with Tonya.
Jason was always telling me that I should dress more feminine. He, like Tonya, had said my curvy figure and big breasts were an asset and I should show them off rather than my usual roomy blouse and baggy slacks look. I picked out a frilly shirt dress that buttoned all the way down the front and draped to just beyond the knees in a soft fall. Looking at myself in the mirror, I had to admit that I felt "girly."
* * * *