'Certain people are afraid of freedom because freedom means responsibility,' so say the wise. Lily had always been putty in the hands of her rich parents who did everything possible to cushion her life. They took all the critical decisions for her. Thus at twenty three she emerged from the college with a master's degree in economics. Then the next inevitable stage in the bio-sociological sequence was to find a good husband for her, from a respectable and ancient Syrian Christian family of central Kerala. They searched far and wide and placed an ad in the matrimonial columns. After a great deal of discussions and negotiations they settled on a computer engineer employed in Dubai, Tom Joseph. His family was not that rich, but they were making it, the boy appeared polished and industrious.
After the marriage and the fabulous feast in which even the local MLA participated, the couple had their first night in the bride's house. Her parents were pleased that their dear daughter had been placed into a pair of safe manly hands. Her friends had teased her that it was a prize catch, but she had no idea what a prize catch was. She herself was a sensation in the society with her demure nature and idyllic anatomy. Her 5'7'' figure had the prefect curves that our society would die for. Tom was told by his buddies that he was the luckiest man in the world. He was a bit disconcerted that he had to protect such a delicious beauty from the amorous advances of the sex starved expatriate community of Dubai.
Once they were alone in the bed room luxuriously decorated, they both shared a cup of sweet and warm milk together implying that they were to share the sweetness of life together. Then, as he had been tutored by his friends, he placed her on the bed, rolled up her costly saree and underskirt and inserted her penis, causing pain to himself and to her. With some difficulty he managed to penetrate and she squirmed with pain. She realized that married life means pain, tearing pain. After a few wincing painful streaks of stroking pain, he collapsed on her and shortly he was asleep. She remained awake for long hours piecing together all the fragmented possibilities and vague hopes. The imperious future threatened her.
On the third day they moved abroad, it was a nightmare to Lily. For the first time she was at the Cochin International Airport. The procedure for boarding the plane unnerved her. The security check, the grumpy robot like figures at the emigration counter, the megalomaniacal ground staff, everything confused her.
They had a small apartment at Karama, it was claustrophobic to the girl who had lived in a huge house. In spite of all the confusion and madness all around, she tried her best to build a home for herself.
On the following Friday a reception was arranged for the couple by Tom's company at Grand Hyatt. Lily put on her fresh ivory colored churidar and her jewelry to show off. She was doing it all to please her husband. She was least inclined to meet strangers. The climax of the party was a belly dance performed by a world famous artist from Lebanon, Regina. Lily had never heard of belly dances.
When the dancer appeared onstage, Lily was embarrassed given her scanty costume. The dancer had a glittering bra hardly covering her impressively large but perfectly shaped breasts. A silken loin cloth covered her private parts. The woman aged around thirty, had a beautiful mane of pure silky hair cropped to a fascinating shape. A golden coloured silken shawl she was draped with. Lily was embarrassed to look at her. The dancer pulled out her shawl and flashed it like wings of an butterfly and danced like an angel. Then she dropped the shawl and was by far naked, pretty little was left for imagination. She violently wobbled and jerked her masterpiece breasts to entertain the audience. Lily furtively looked at the breasts and then at the dancer herself. She felt something fluttering in her soul. The dancer was in fact, dancing to the bride now. Lily blushed profusely. She wanted to feast on that nubile shape but was ashamed. In the next stage, she came to the bride and invited her to dance together. Despite herself, lily got up and followed the dancer to the platform.
Lily herself was a good dancer, she had been trained at college. Rescinding her embarrassment, Lily danced like a fairy, light headed and nimble. Together they became a tune, together they became a visual feast, it was a happy union of exoticism. It was solid music. Lily tingled all over under the touch of the lovely dancing beauty. She was in a dream and the enthralled audience had faded into insignificance in her world. Regina was looking deep into her eyes, deep into her soul. She had to avert her eyes from the laser beams that searched her soul and exposed her. While parting amid a thunderous applause, Regina whispered something in her ear which she did not understand.
During the days that followed, Lily had been fixated by the charm and luscious beauty of the dancer. She was afraid of herself for the wild thoughts. The more she tried to forget the dancer the more she barged in gatecrashing into her soul and solitude. She asked many of her acquaintances at St. Mary's church where she could dance once again with that woman. Her husband was noncommittal. She continued to search for those hooking eyes and invincible bust in the multitudes. She prayed to Saint Antony to bring her lost dream back to her. After a few weeks there was yet another reception at Grand Hyatt. She hinted to many that Regina's dance would be perfect for the function. The organizers tried her date and surprisingly she agreed to come.
During the erotic dance once again the two pairs of eyes clashed and there was a flash of seminal recognition. At the last part she invited Lily to dance together. They danced like a single soul, like two airy spirits on a divine mission. They parted stoically after the dance and Lily retired to her seat. She was sorry that the spell was over.
The luscious lady came down in a green gown to the people huddled up in groups chatting and eating food. She also took a plate and collected few choicest eatables from the buffet table and stood there gently nibbling. Her white silky fingers and cute enticing lips really fascinated Lily who was furtively feasting on her from a distance. Suddenly she left the plate in the bin and walked fast with her nimble dancer's feet and pretended to walk past Lily. Lily was stunned by her electrifying presence. Then as if by a second thought, Regina came back to Lily and shook hands with her. Those silken hands of a real artist. The hands that had touched the contours of poesy. High voltage electric short circuit was the result, sparks flashed from four eloquent eyes, volumes of silent information passed hands. They stood there in the halo of the sound of silence. Lily was afraid to look at those enthralling pair of breasts. She wondered what would happen to her if she had the audacity to take a look on those heavenly orbs. Then she experienced something else, a piece of paper was passed into her hand quite diligently even when their hands were locked in a handshake. Then she was gone in a flash, by the time Lily realized what had come to pass she was gone. Then the girl felt that the sun was suddenly dead that the power supply was gone. Lily was rocked in a devastating storm. She went to the private room to freshen up and with trembling hands she read the furtive missive,
'Where hast thou been all the while? I have been looking for thee here there and everywhere. Hast thou been hiding in a dainty fairies' winsome nook? Or celebrating they reflection on a distant Ionian merry brook? Do kindly deign to call me if thou woudst, my number is ...'
Her heart was palpitating and adrenaline rushed to her blood, her body was pitted against the whole world. She kissed the palm which had had the good fortune to touch that celestial hand. Indeed, she did look for her in the multitudes, in the rapt audiences, she, the pusillanimous and insignificant lass. It was the defining moment in her life. The stone that the builders left had become the head of the corner.
When she returned to the hall, Dana Winner was on the music system with 'one moment in time' she thought that it was the most opportune moment to listen to that.
Next day when Tom was gone for work, Lily took the piece of paper on which her whole life depended. She just wanted to sit in the penumbra of that divine presence and she would be fulfilled, she would be reconnected to the absolute. She kissed the paper time and again and marveled the hand that had scribbled the dear words in a hurry. After many tumultuous moments of hesitation she dialed the number knowing pretty well that she was entering into an alien territory. The call was through, it was ringing on the other end. She was trembling like a blade of grass in the gale. But there was no answer. After half an hour she tried again but to no avail. Exasperated and curiously relieved, she retired to her wonted domestic chores of cleaning and washing. Conjugal life was just that, endless wait, dirty chores and tearing pain in the loins at night. Probably that was the inevitable imperative of life.
As there was nothing more to do she switched on the TV and watched the drab programmes telecast from Kerala. Then the phone rang suddenly from the blue.
'Hallo Lily, here I am Regina.'
'But how, how did you know my name?
'We know what we know, your name is dear to me as the owner of the name is dear to me. I have been looking for you for long, I even diluted my standards and performed to audiences a notch below my level in the hope of stumbling on you there.'