RAINNIE
In this spin-off series from A Tale of Two Mothers, Rachel's old neighbour, Paula tells of her own encounters with women whilst doing their hair. It was referenced during the tale The Courtship of Rachel where she mentions that Paula had six lovers spread across suburban Melbourne. This is part one of the series.
I have to admit I'm a little nervous writing this tale, after all, I was the unfaithful wife but I feel like bringing closure to a part of my life that was both exciting and painful. I was Rachel's neighbour from across the street and her best friend, our husbands were both in the police force, her husband was in the Victoria Police and mine was with the Australian Federal Police. However our partners rarely socialised together due to Lewis's obsession with the AFP's higher ranking, but that didn't extend to their partners and neither Robert nor Lewis cared what we got up to.
I was the youngest child of three to David and Tina Flood, I have an older sister, Roberta and an older brother Stephen. My dad was hoping for a boy when mum was pregnant and he'd even picked out the name Paul but when mum gave birth to me it was changed to Paula. Because I was the youngest I got away with more than my siblings and that was to have an effect later on in life as you'll see.
I didn't have an unhappy childhood though, far from it, I was a happy go lucky kid who seemed to have no limits. I was into everything as a kid. However, I wasn't attracted to women sexually until I met Rachel. She was the one who first turned me onto women and she did it without removing a stitch of clothing or even touching me.
Prior to meeting her, I'd always thought of lesbians as being either butch types or the emotionally damaged women who fell for them. I know it's not exactly politically correct but I was in my late twenties and for years I'd been involved in the beauty industry. I cut my teeth in makeup and then enrolled in a TAFE college out in Box Hill to do hair. It was while I was still in college that I met Robert when he was lecturing law students doing one of those introductions to Law courses. He fell for me almost straight away but it took a few weeks before I went out on a date, and even though I had this no sex on the first date rule firmly lodged in my brain, I broke that rule and the rest, as they say, is history.
We moved into a house in Keilor for a few years and I gave birth to three children in fairly quick succession, Gary, David, and Elizabeth. The first few years were reasonably happy, and I had no thoughts of cheating on Robert but when we moved to Essendon he was transferred to the AFP and his workload increased dramatically. For the next three years though I just focused on raising our children and cutting hair. I was working a few days a week at the salon in Keilor Road but the rest of the time I was cutting hair privately, it was for cash only because I didn't want the tax man finding out about my extra income. Working privately was particularly attractive because you don't have to stick to a strict timetable if you manage your time properly and I was pretty good at time management. The women I encountered were all professional women, some of them worked from home and the others were on more flexible hours.
All in all, though, my life was more or less content and cheating was the furthest thing from my mind until the day I discovered Robert had been seeing someone else. I discovered it completely by accident when I went to see one of my clients and saw Robert's car sitting in the driveway of the house two doors down. According to my client, it belonged to Renee, a kindergarten teacher and at the time I thought it odd because he was supposed to be in the city but I thought nothing of it until he got home that night and complained he'd been stuck at his desk in the city all day.
"That's odd," I remarked, "your car was parked in the driveway of a house in Reservoir, one of my clients is two doors down, Renee lives there, apparently."
Robert turned as white as a ghost and came out with some excuse about her being a potential witness.
"A witness to what? A murder? Links to organised crime? Renee's a kindergarten teacher, it must be some totally secret identity."
Once again he tried to push the 'it's classified' argument but I wasn't having it, that's the problem with being so close to someone, eventually, you can read them like a book and Robert had a very distinctive tell whenever he was lying, he'd run a hand through his hair. By that stage, his hairline was retreating rapidly over his scalp so there wasn't much to play with.
"Are you having an affair?"
"Of course not," he spluttered, "how can you suggest such a thing?"
"Because you told me you'd been in the city all day but then you had to duck out to see Renee for something to do with a secret investigation. Perhaps I'll knock on Renee's door and ask why she's seeing my husband."
"Please don't," his eyes shifted, "it's not what you think."
"What is it then? A quick fuck? Because I could go a quick fuck."
"It was a quick fuck, she's a friend of a friend."
My next move took him totally by surprise when I lashed out and slapped him. I saw the shock turn to anger and for a few moments I thought he was going to strike back but instead, he backed off and held his hands up.
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, it won't happen again."
In hindsight, I should have thrown him out and ended the marriage but I didn't and that has a lot to do with stupid pride and the desire to keep up appearances for the outside world. My family didn't even know about Robert's infidelity, I felt mortified, ashamed, and angry all at once and for about three weeks he walked on eggshells. To his credit, I suppose, he did end the affair and even offered to go to counselling but I wanted to forget the whole thing and move on. An admirable trait in some cases except in my case I internalised the betrayal and a few weeks later Rachel stepped into my life when she and Lewis moved into the house across the road.
Rachel never knew about Robert's little affair, she had her own dramas with Lewis and her evil stepmother and I got sucked into that ongoing drama because it was a welcome distraction to my own internal drama. Rachel became one of my clients and I even did her hair for free because there was always wine involved and it was during one of those sessions that she outed herself.
"I mean I'm married but I consider myself bisexual but that's our secret."
I remember blinking at that and staring at myself in the window because Rachel was an attractive woman with a healthy head of hair. To think that this woman was bisexual was both intriguing and enticing and so I just asked her to tell me more. She told me about her encounters with other women in quite graphic detail and I confess that I was turned on but I still didn't tell her about Robert's brief affair with Renee. It did, however, spark a new desire within me to spread my wings when Rachel admitted she'd thought about dipping her toes in the pond again.
"I mean I'm not there yet," she told me, "but if I had an affair it would be with another woman because it's easier to hide the fact. Lewis would never question me about spending time with a girlfriend, men never inquire into women's business."
I've thought about that late afternoon session many times and recognised that if I'd stepped out and made a move then it might have happened, I can't say it would have been long lasting but the desire was there. What stopped me though was the fact that we babysat each other's children and as any working mum knows, babysitting fees can be a killer. Rachel babysat my kids for free when I did my evening sessions and I minded her kids when they came home after school. Thus, an affair with Rachel might have been exciting but it could have far-reaching consequences.
That conversation took place in late summer and I held onto that desire for the next two months until the end of April. The last weekend in April is traditionally a long weekend, the Anzac weekend when we remember our war dead, but for the rest of us, it's a time to kick back and have a barbie, go shopping, and generally relax. I was always busier on weekends because my clients would want their hair done but over long weekends I was usually swamped.
One of my regular clients was Rainnie. She was a forty-eight-year-old lecturer out at Monash Uni. She had two kids, both with families of their own but her marriage had ended when she was just bit older than me.
"I turned onto women when I ended the marriage and haven't looked back since," she looked straight at me in the mirror.
"The younger ones tend to hold my attention because they're willing to experiment, older women are more into commitment though."
I flinched at that and her eyes shifted.
"Something I said?"
"Kind of," I touched the hair clasp at the back of my head, "I've had a crush on my neighbour for the last few months, she's bisexual or so she tells me but she's not into cheating although she's in an unhappy marriage," I bit my lip and when she raised her eyebrows I finally did the unthinkable and let the cat out of the bag.
"I should be the cheating one, after my husband's little fling."
"Go on," Rainnie murmured.
I didn't want to go on but I'd let the mask slip and partly because she was an older woman, and also due to the fact she was just a client, I told her about Robert's affair with Renee. It felt almost as if I was the one betraying him, instead of the other way around but Rainnie merely nodded when I finally finished.
