Two nuns in the bath, or on a horse, or in a car, or go to market, etc.
That's how old jokes always start, right?
They're lewd, sort of, but barely, and based around innuendo. The joke being that we nuns wouldn't get the joke, because we're too pure.
Well, let me tell you about the night of my eighteenth birthday, in the abbey we call it your 'Second Confirmation', in which one joins 'the Order of Aaron's Rod': let's see who's pure then.
I was mentally prepared, sort of, for the events of the evening, though only through hearsay, and it was difficult to work out exactly what was real and what wasn't. One girl told me we'd be sacrificing a goat to Satan, which seemed unlikely. In the morning, I was asked by Gloria, secretly, whilst I was out pruning the flowers, if I was "up for a full confirmation or just a drink or two".
I had been led to believe that the process was primarily sexual, though apparently this wasn't the case, or rather it didn't have to be. It was more about being a woman, a grown up, and all of that. I said "sure, full works", thinking fuck it, literally, and then thinking, oh shit I'm gonna confess that to the priest, and then thinking, and there we go again!
I had, until that point, confessed everything to the priest, including an accidental wank, and then two intentional ones. The priest sort of told me not to bother, and whatever I get up to was my own business, but I didn't see it like that, and wanted to be honest.
I had never, to my knowledge, experience an orgasm, which had once been described to me by another nun. I decided that as she did the describing I didn't have to confess that, even though I did ask a couple of questions.
I'm getting sidetracked.
The night of my 'Second Confirmation'! We sleep in cells, three beds to a cell, one nun per bed. I was sleeping, at the time, in the middle bed, which I disliked because I got snoring and the occasional moan from both sides of me. After dinner, and prayers, all three of us were sitting on Gloria's bed: she is oldest, 24 at that time, and her bed was by the door.
Francis came in: 'Hey birthday girl. Hey Gloria, hey Mary' -- who had been confirmed a few weeks earlier, in another cell whilst I slept alone. Francis, the oldest (30) was in charge of the Order, and as such conducted the ceremony. Not all nuns are involved, Gloria and Francis, as my cellmates, were automatically invited, and, as Francis then explained, for a "full confirmation" four is more than enough.
'The ceremony must be performed naked.'
I undressed, not particularly surprised by this, though perhaps a little by how quickly it had happened. Once I was fully undressed, the other girls, after a few moments of looking at my body in a way that I liked but found a little unnerving, also undressed.
'First, in celebration of your eighteenth birthday, you will be kissed eighteen times: that's six times by each of us.'
Francis kissed me, my first kiss, hard on the mouth, biting a little on my tongue as she did so. Gloria, during her kiss, pressed her body against mine, and I could feel her nipples press against my boobs, a totally new sensation to me. Mary pulled me down onto my back, and lay on top of me, her knee pressing between my legs. And when she kissed me, I could feel her soft bush against my waist.
'Three', somebody said.
Then, as Mary unmounted me, Gloria placed her head on my right nipple, and Francis on my left. They each sucked at my nipples, like newborn twins, though with a sensual feeling that was not motherly, as I might have expected, but erotic. As though my tits were connected to my vagina. I moaned a little.
'God, already, we might have to gag you,' Francis said, briefly lifting her head up, only to then reattach herself, with a little bit.
'Six', Mary then said, 'a third of the way there!'
The next six kisses happened in quicker succession, and landed one on my neck, one of each foot, then my left ear, and then on each thigh. My legs were then opened.
It was Mary I think who first kissed my cunt. If you can call it a kiss: a French kiss, with tongue, and with nobs on. The other girls sat by my head, and played with my breasts and put their fingers in my mouth, keeping me from moaning too loudly whilst Mary suckled on my slit, flicking her tongue back and forth over my labia, and occasionally darting as far as she could up my twat.
I was flipped over, and then kissed once on my left arse cheek and once on the right, before Gloria started to eat out my arsehole, which was tight as anything to start with, but which I slowly found I could relax. It was a strange feeling, and I was desperately worried about how clean I was. But then Mary asked 'what she taste like Gloria', and Gloria told her 'amazing'.
'Sixteen.'
With only two to go I was starting to feel saddened by the thought of it all being over. I wished I was a hundred, so that they could find a hundred different ways to pleasure me with their tongues. I wondered if afterwards they'd let me pleasure them with my tongue, and teach me to do the things they were doing.
Mary then sat behind me, and held my legs as wide apart as possible, for moth Gloria and Francis to place their heads between. When it was just Mary kissing my cunt, my clit would get some respite whilst I was being tongue fucked, and visa versa, but now, with two hungry mouths working at me, the sensation was almost unbearable. I was rapidly sensing that notion of approaching a precipice, and was desperately trying to control myself.
Mary said: 'it's fine, baby, just let it happen.'
'I think I'm going to piss myself, Mary.'