THE COUCH
By the next mid-afternoon, I was pretty well spent at work. It had been a long, busy day with almost continuous meetings. I had given two lengthy presentations, had some minor drama with a coworker, and I was bummed it wasn't five o'clock yet.
I also hadn't slept well the night before. I wasn't sure why, since things were going so well and I was feeling fine. I think part of me was a little concerned about my stepdaughter. Tracie had never come to sleep with me after working on her forgotten school paper. We had been sharing my bed a lot lately, just for fun. Could it be that I had gotten used to her being there with me? I hoped she hadn't stayed up too late, but I knew that teenagers and end-of-term all-nighters went together like Valentine's Day and chocolate.
My spirits lifted when Tracie texted me at work around three o'clock. She wrote, "Is there anything I can do to help get dinner ready?"
Naturally, it warms a parent's heart when their child shows such good manners. It was curious that she'd ask so early in the day, but maybe she was bored at home after school. I texted back, "If you want to make a salad, maybe? But I need to stop on the way home and get some chicken and peppers. I'll be home around 6."
She simply replied with "Ok" and a heart.
When I got home with the groceries, she was waiting for me. She looked especially nice for some reason. Her makeup was more elaborate than she usually wore to school, she had on a summery cropped tube top over fetching little shorts, and she had her hair pulled back in a nice ponytail. I said lightly, "Wow, don't you look cute." As I set down the grocery bags, I leaned to give her a quick kiss.
She surprised me by wrapping her arms around me and kissing me back. She said, "You look great today too. You always look so good in your work clothes."
"Aw, you sweetie," I chuckled, noticing that she even had some perfume on. "That's saying something because I'm kinda beat. I earned my money today."
"Oh, hard-working Mama," she said kindly. "Well, I made the salad, at least."
"Great, honey. Thanks."
She started unpacking the groceries while I took off my heels from work. She said, "Do you want a foot rub, or should I cut these bell peppers?"
I said, "My goodness, what a sweetheart! But you look so nice and you seem in a hurry. I assume you have plans tonight?"
She looked at me. "Just around here."
"Oh, are you having some friends over?"
"No."
I nodded, wondering if I was missing something. The way she was dressed, showing off her body to impressive effect, I assumed she was going out. I said, "Well, I'm pretty hungry, how about we make dinner together?"
As she prepared to cut the peppers, I saw Tracie quickly nibble her thumbnail. I wondered what she might be nervous about. I said, "Is everything okay?"
As if she was surprised by the question, she responded with a high pitched, "Yeah! Yeah."
I decided to take her word for it. I said, "So, did you get your paper done last night? I noticed you didn't end up coming to sleep with me. I was a little lonely, actually."
With an endearing smile and sympathetic eyes, my girl said, "Aww, were you?"
"I think so, a little."
Tracie thoughtfully turned a bell pepper on the cutting board. She said, "I was lonely too. We should sleep together every night."
I laughed. "Oh, you sweet thing. We'll just have to talk about your sleeping habits."
She gasped in mock surprise. "What sleeping habits?"
"Ahem," I said. "Your starfish tendency."
"Oh no!" she laughed. "Do I still do that?"
"Oh yes," I chuckled. "Arms and legs spread out across the whole mattress." We both laughed. I said, "But it's okay. I think I'm used to your leg on mine, or your wrist across my face."
"Oh no, I'm sorry. From now on I'll curl up into a tight little ball like a hedgehog."
"Don't be silly," I said, wrapping an arm around her. "I know it's not that long before you'll be off to college somewhere, and I'll miss your foot on my belly."
Tracy dropped her pepper and knife and took me in a tight squeeze. "Don't talk about that."
After a nice warm hug, she looked me in the eyes. Neither of us said anything, but we both had emotions about her moving away.
She said, "Maybe I'll go to college somewhere nearby and commute, so I can be home to hog your bed every night."
I said, "Baby, you need to go wherever you want. You deserve the best education and the best life."
"My best life is with you," she said.
"Tracie, stop being so adorable or you're going to make me cry. Now, did you get your paper done last night?"
"Hm? Oh. Yeah, the paper. That's all fine." She started chopping the peppers again. "So how was work?"
"Oh,
pff.
Fine." I didn't want to bore her with trivia from my work day.
"No, come on. Tell me," she said, looking at me. "I want to know."
I wondered why she had such interest, but found it sweet. So, I went ahead and related some of the details of what was going on with my job, some of the personalities I was having to deal with. While we continued to fix dinner and talk about my work, she acted like nothing was more interesting to her. For every little joke I made about clients or coworkers, she laughed brightly and touched my arm.
Despite how happy she was acting, I started to think something was on Tracie's mind that she wasn't talking about. She was all smiles and compliments - going out of her way to make me feel nice - but I detected some kind of nervousness in her.
While we sat and ate, she continued to engage me to talk about myself. I felt like it was my birthday or something. She refused when I tried to change the subject to her; she insisted to hear more from me. I noticed her gazing at me while I talked, so lovingly, her beautiful face beaming at me, her perfect young skin, her bare shoulders...
"Mom?"
