The Mother Tracie Deserves

REASON TO CELEBRATE

The next day while Tracie was at school, I got the phone call I was hoping for. I couldn't wait to tell my stepdaughter. I texted her, "Guess what?"

She texted back, "You got the job."

"Yes!" I wrote. "How did you know?"

"I just knew you would." She added a series of celebration emojis with kisses and hearts.

I was so relieved, on multiple levels, to start working again. I needed the income. I needed something consistent to do outside of the house. I needed to know I was still a fully-functioning adult. And frankly, I needed a little space between me and Tracie.

Plus, if I showed that I could work a normal job, maybe that would be the final piece to convince my daughter she didn't need to blackmail me anymore.

When she got home from school that afternoon, I was in the family room, just finishing a sweaty project she had assigned me. All the couch and armchair cushions were propped up around the room.

Setting her backpack down, Tracie said, "Oh good, you got the steam cleaner."

"Yep. These need to sit out to dry overnight. I think they look really good." I wiped my forehead, proud of myself.

"Like new," she said, running her hand over a cushion.

I was glad she came home in time to see me working hard. As I coiled up the cleaner's hose, I said, "What I don't know is how a teenage girl would think to have me steam-clean the upholstery."

She smiled with a shrug. "Well, I had to keep you busy, so I went online and did searches on 'house deep cleaning' and 'big house cleaning jobs.' You can find a lot."

"Yeah, tell me about it. You had me do it all!"

We both laughed. Tracie stood before me and put her hands on my shoulders. "Well, Mom, now you'll be working out of the house. How does it feel to be employed?"

I stood up a little straighter with a big smile on my face. "Pretty darn good."

She wrapped her arms around me. "I'm so excited for you. When do you start?"

"Right away, actually. They asked if I could come in Monday." It felt so nice to hug my daughter, rubbing her back, smelling her pretty scent. "They're eager to get me going. And I'm eager to start."

"Good for you, Mom. You'll do great." She gave me a peck on the cheek.

"Thanks, angel." A tinge of sadness came over me. "But you know, I still love being here for you when you get home from school. I won't be able to do that anymore. And dinner won't be ready as early."

Tracie said, "Aww, you're so sweet. But I'm nineteen now. I think I can handle it if you don't get home until later. Look." She stepped out of my arms and led me into the kitchen. She opened a cabinet. "I can even get myself a glass of water now."

I laughed. "When did that happen? When I married your father, you needed a step stool to reach the sink."

She filled the glass with water. "Guess I'm all growed up."

"Well," I said, reaching into the freezer, "I can still put some ice in it, the way you like."

She held the glass out and I dropped the ice in. I watched her drink. She was indeed grown - as tall as me now, even a little taller. But she was still the same adorable Tracie, and still young.

My pretty stepdaughter looked at me over the glass, smiling as she drank. She finished with a big, refreshed sigh.

"I'm proud of you, Mom."

Those words were like medicine to me.

She said, "I knew you would get hired quick."

"How did you know?"

Tracie set the glass on the counter and put her arms around my waist. "Because you're smart, and beautiful, and you can do anything."

I gasped - those words warmed my soul. I said, "That sounds familiar."

"It should. You said it to me a thousand times growing up."

Tracie hugged me, close and warm. I hugged her back, feeling so much gratitude. It was one of the most loving moments I'd ever shared with my daughter, or anyone.

She popped her head up and said, "We're celebrating tonight. We're going out for a nice dinner."

"Well, honey, I have some chicken defrosted."

"Nope. I'm making reservations at that fancy restaurant my friends and I went to for Homecoming. Tonight."

"Oh, Tracie, I don't know. Isn't that place really expensive?"

"You just got a job, Mom. We'll be able to pay for it before the next credit card payment is due. Come on. You deserve it. I want to see you get dressed up and have a special night. It's been too long. Can we?"

I looked at my sweet, beautiful stepdaughter, shaking my head in admiration. Her bright spirit was the best thing in my life.

I wanted to celebrate, too. "Okay, let's do it."

"Yay!" Her excited smile lit up my heart.

~ * ~

CELEBRATION

That evening, looking at myself in the mirror, I said, "Honey, are you sure?"

"Absolutely. This is a really nice restaurant. People dress up. It's a special-occasion place. You look amazing."

Tracie picked out my dress from the small and long-neglected collection in my closet. I was quite happy to see that with all my workouts and proper eating, the dress fit better than ever.

It was so sweet when my girl helped me do my hair and makeup. I made sure to appreciate every moment as my daughter doted on me. She did make me look pretty good, too, if more dramatic and sexy than I was used to.

But then, Tracie was going all-out too. She had on the same stunning cocktail dress she had worn to the volleyball award ceremony the previous fall, and she looked ready for a Hollywood award ceremony.

She said, "Your healthy habits are paying off for you, Mom. It's time to flaunt it a little and strut that stuff."

I giggled. "Well fortunately, I won't have to worry about too many stares. All eyes will be on you."

"Well, mine will be on you." She gave me a one-arm hug as we smiled at each other in the mirror.

I drove to the restaurant, feeling like I was going out on the town with my best girlfriend. Well, that was true!

Our destination was easy to miss from the road. It was a low-slung building behind a bunch of landscaping, with no windows and only a small, hard-to-see sign - like you'd expect for an exclusive place.

Valet parking was the only option. A young man in a zip-up jacket loped around to my car door and opened it. Another valet opened Tracie's passenger door.

Honestly, it was a thrill when my stepdaughter and I both stepped out of the car in our high heels. The valet handed me a ticket and drove off. Luxury vehicles filled the lot. My old car was probably the most modest thing the guy would park that night. But I didn't care. I looked at my date - Tracie was smiling and stunningly beautiful - and I felt like a millionaire.

As we walked to the door, my daughter leaned to my ear to say, "Did you see that valet checking you out?"

I laughed. "Oh, seriously."

"He was!" Tracie took my arm as the second valet opened the restaurant's heavy, intricately-carved wood door for us.

I said, "I've only been to restaurants this fancy a few times in my life, but always with a man. I've never been the one to take the valet ticket."

Tracie looked at me and said, "Well, tonight it's you and me."

I gripped her hand on my arm. I realized I was smiling ear-to-ear.

Inside was like another world. The noise of the outdoors immediately went silent. The lighting was low. Soft golden light shone on the natural stone walls and rich decor. Candles burned on the few tables I could see. I heard the sparkling sound of water - there must have been a fountain somewhere - as well as delicate piano music and the tinkling of crystal and fine china.

"Welcome, ladies," said the hostess, who was almost as attractive as my stepdaughter. "Gasparo, for seven o'clock?"

Tracie squeezed my arm and we smiled at each other.

"I guess so," I chuckled.

"Please follow me." She led us through the sumptuous dining room to a cozy little corner booth. The leather half-circle seat was just big enough for two. The table was covered with bright white linen and place settings as fancy as I'd ever seen. A little fire was burning in a stone hearth nearby.

"Wow," I said.

Tracie giggled with excitement. "Isn't it nice?"

As we sat, Tracie thanked the hostess. I smiled at my daughter's good manners.

Within seconds, our waiter was there, with an assistant who filled our water glasses. The waiter lit the candle on our table. He said, "May I start you off with a drink? A glass of wine, perhaps? Of course, if that's legal for you young ladies."

I chuckled at his flattery and looked at Tracie. She told him, "We'll just be having water, thanks."

It was indeed a special-occasion place. Our little round booth was rather private, but if I craned my neck a bit, I could see that other tables had mostly couples who looked like they were celebrating anniversaries or something. At one table while we were there, a young man even proposed to his date. When she cried and said yes, the other customers clapped for them.

It was probably the finest dining experience I ever had. The portions were small, but unbelievably delicious and satisfying. But the best part was looking across the little table at my gorgeous stepdaughter. Tracie could not have looked more lovely, and better yet, she seemed very happy.

"You deserve this, Mom," she told me.

During dinner, we talked about many things, but only good things. At no time did either of us refer to my drinking or the videos or anything like that. It truly was a celebration of all the positive things that were going on in our lives - Tracie's achievements in school, the stream of scholarship offers coming to her from colleges, and my new job, of course. Underneath it all, I think we were both celebrating the return of our happy relationship as mother and daughter.

At one point between courses, Tracie reached across the table to me. I almost cried for joy as we held hands, her thumb stroking my knuckles. There were no words to say, just happiness flowing between us. I could see it in her eyes, and I'm sure she could see it in mine.

"How did I get so lucky, Tracie?"

She said, "How did I?"

My eyes got misty with love for my incredible stepdaughter. Soundlessly, I mouthed the words, "I love you." Tracie's smile lit the room. She happily squeezed up her shoulders, as if it tickled her to absorb my love.

A total pro, our waiter waited for our loving moment to pass before bringing the next course.

Later on, again at just the right point, he asked us, "Ladies, would you like a quick photo?"

"Yes, please!" I said, handing him my phone.

My daughter and I slid together, hip to hip on the curved booth seat. Tracie put her arm around my back and we tilted our heads close.

The waiter said, "Very nice," and snapped a shot.

"And one like this," Tracie said. She kissed my cheek. I laughed and the waiter took another.

Tracie said, "And just one more please." With a finger on my chin, my stepdaughter turned my face to hers and she puckered again. I returned her sweet kiss on the lips.

The waiter said, "Very cute. Hold it... There, you both look lovely."

We thanked him and immediately huddled together to look at my phone.

All the pictures were instant classics. Tracie and I looked good, but more importantly, we looked happy. Very happy. Compared to where we'd been just weeks before, it was a miracle, and I fully appreciated that.

I zoomed in on a photo and said, "These are just perfect. Every detail."

Tracie had stopped looking at the phone - she was looking at me. I looked up to her, our faces close. Light glinted in Tracie's thoughtful eyes.

I said softly, "What?"

With an easy shift of her head, our mouths met again. I saw Tracie's eyes were closed, so I closed mine too. The restaurant faded away. Light as a feather, her fingertips stroked my jaw, then my neck. It was a tender, warm kiss. All I heard was my heartbeat. I felt my lipstick clinging to my daughter's. Her soft lips moved on mine.

Her hand drifted down to my thigh. I felt a tiny slip of her tongue, which made me giggle. Our lips finally parted with a sweet moist sound.

I blushed, touching my lip where it was wet. I whispered, "Tracie..."

"What?" she whispered back, gripping my leg under the table.

I looked to see if anyone had noticed how long our kiss had lasted. Only a couple of tables had a view into our booth, but I was still nervous.

"Don't worry, Mom. They don't know us, and they don't know what we've been through."

She was certainly right on that last point. No one else knew how important this night was for Tracie and me - how much pain we were putting behind us. I gazed into my stepdaughter's beautiful face, and saw there what I had felt in her lips: love, acceptance, and forgiveness.

I realized I wasn't entirely blushing in embarrassment. I felt like a smitten schoolgirl, kissing the most amazing person I knew. And I was also blushing because I felt I didn't deserve such a wonderful girl.

In my teen angel's eyes, I saw not just the loving young woman who had rescued me from drinking, but I also saw that adorable little girl who first sat on my lap over a dozen years before, giving my life its highest purpose.

I whispered, "Thank god for you, Tracie. You saved me."

"Good," she said. "I always wanted to return the favor."

~ * ~

MIXED TURN SIGNALS

The drive home was so much fun. We sang along to songs together, laughed, and enjoyed the fresh spring air blowing through the car windows.

Halfway home, Tracie asked me to stop at the Quickee Beer & Snack.

I said, "What? We just had the best meal of our lives. What do you want from there?"

She laughed and said, "I just need some Cheezie Chips to top it all off."

I shook my head and laughed, pulling into the parking lot. "You crack me up, little girl."

"Plus," she said, "we should let some more people see us looking so hot."

"Oh my goodness, Tracie."

My stepdaughter took my hand as we walked through the shop's door. It was a typical beer-and-junk-food place that stayed open late. Sure enough, the other people inside all took notice of us, though some of them tried to hide it.

Still holding my hand, Tracie led me to the chip aisle. She caught long stares from everyone we passed, and I was impressed with her couldn't-care-less attitude. People looked at her, then me, then our holding hands. Did I feel a bit posh and proud? Yes I did, and I didn't feel bad about it.

Tracie found the chips she liked. She said, "Every once in a while, we get to have a guilty pleasure, right?"

I chuckled. "If you say so, baby."

"I say so."

She led me by the hand to the cash register. The customer in front of us was directing the cashier to his brand of cigarettes on the wall behind the counter. As we waited, like so many times over the years, Tracie leaned against my arm and casually stroked my back.

I noticed that by the cigarette display, there were some shelves of liquor. I had a sobering moment when I saw "my brand" of vodka. Feeling my daughter leaning on me, her hand on my back, I thanked the entire Universe that I was here on a delightful night out with her, instead of buying any more of that poison.

When we stepped up to pay for Tracie's chips, the cashier glanced at us and said, "Must be a special night."

Tracie and I both said, "Yes it is" in unison, which made us laugh.

Getting back to the car, I was in no rush to go home. I said, "You know, Tracie, it's such a beautiful night... What do you think about a little driving practice?" Tracie had taken driver's training, but she still needed a number of hours of supervised driving before she could get her license.

"Ehhhh," she grumbled. She was reluctant to start driving, even though most of her friends had. On one of her early practice outings, she had nearly gotten into an accident, and had been scared to take the wheel ever since.

"Come on," I said. "You can do it. It's not far home from here."

"Not tonight, Mom, please? I'm not ready to drive in traffic. I don't want to get all stressed out on our date. We're having such a good time."

I thought for a moment. "Alright." I got into the driver's seat.

Tracie put on more music as I pulled away from the Quickee. Back on the road, we were singing together again, with wind in our hair.

I said, "Aren't you going to eat your chips?"

"No, not yet."

"I kind of want one or two," I said.

Tracie shook her head. "Later." When she noticed I wasn't driving toward home, she said, "Where are we going?"

"Just for a ride."

I played a little prank on my girl. I drove a couple miles toward the city park. It technically closed at sunset, but I could see in the dark that the gate was still open.

When I clicked on the turn signal to go in, Tracie said, "Uh, you're freaking me out a little. What's going on?"

"Oh don't worry. Don't you trust me?" I turned through the gate and went down the park drive.

Tracie stopped the music and said, "Um, can we be in here after dark?"

I said, "I won't tell if you don't." The park was large and had several parking lots inside it. I drove to one of the further ones, well away from the main road, and stopped the car.

"Mom, seriously, what are we doing? Did you take me back here to make out or something?"

I laughed. "No, I took you here to make you drive a little bit."

"Mom!"

"Come on, you don't have to drive in traffic, just around the parking lots. It'll be fun."

A smile slowly grew on her face. She said, "Okay, fine."

We switched seats, and before I knew it, Tracie was driving big circles around the gravel lots and down the driveways connecting them.

"This

is

fun," she said, getting more confident. Soon, Tracie was going rather fast, spitting gravel from the tires.

"Whoa!" I laughed. "Be careful, honey!"

"Yee-ha!" My stepdaughter went even faster.

We both were whooping and laughing as Tracie dared to shoot around tight curves.

"Look out!" I said.

Tracie bounced the car's tire over a curb, giving us a rollicking moment of screams and laughter. She came to a stop, fortunately before any damage was done.

"Oh my goodness," I laughed, my heart beating.

She said, "You wanted me to drive, right? Woohoo!"

"I guess I did. But maybe that's enough fun in here. Do you want to drive home?"

"No, you drive. I'll take care of playing the music." She took off her seatbelt and opened her door. The car started rolling forward.

I said, "Don't forget to put the gearshift in park, honey."

"Oops, sorry." It took her a moment to figure out how to shift to 'P.'

We got out to switch seats. As we both walked around the front of the car, Tracie had a big smile. She held her hand up for a high five. I said, "Good job" and slapped her hand as we passed. Tracie's arm arced further down and she smacked my butt.

"Hoo!" I said. "You little stinker!"

Tracie cracked up while I chased her around the car, trying to return the favor. Both of us were tottering in our high heels, trying to run on the gravel. Like a little girl on a playground, she screamed with laughter as I caught her. "I gotcha!" I said, squeezing her in my arms.

A blinding white beam lit us up. We shielded our eyes, trying to see who had driven up.

A voice called out, "You ladies, the park is closed. Need you to go home now."

I couldn't tell if it was the police or a park ranger, but either way, I said, "Thank you, we're leaving!"

Tracie and I jumped into the car and I promptly drove out. My daughter and I were giggling like crazy as we started down the road toward home.

With perfect timing, another of our favorite songs ended just as I pulled up our driveway. Watching the garage door open, I said, "Back to our little abode." I was sad for our night on the town to end, but happy to get home too.

The airy sounds of the spring night faded as I pulled the car into the garage. I put the gearshift in park and turned off the engine. We both took off our seat belts.