TRACIE'S WISH
While my stepdaughter was getting perfect scores in her winter classes, all I could handle was checking in for my unemployment benefits every other week and remembering to occasionally wash my clothes. The rest of the time, my mind was occupied with vodka.
I had years before taught Tracie to handle her own laundry. For myself, one advantage of being a lazy bum is not having many clothes to wash besides the old underwear, t-shirts, and sweats I wore most of the time. I had no reason to wear anything nicer.
One freezing Sunday morning in February (well, mornings for me were more like midday), I was carrying a load of my dirty laundry down to the basement where the washer and dryer were.
As I started down the stairs, I heard the
pound-pound-pound
of Tracie running on the treadmill. The owner we rented from had left it there and said we could use it. Of course, I had never touched the thing, but now the machine was whirring at high speed. My stepdaughter was running hard, panting deeply. In her tight black leggings and sports bra, she was shining with sweat.
I was worried she was overdoing it. Just as I was about to say something, the treadmill beeped and slowed to a stop. Tracie slumped off the machine, her lungs heaving. She looked totally spent as she drank from her water bottle.
But as I loaded my clothes into the washer, Tracie went from the treadmill straight onto the floor to start doing push-ups!
"Honey," I said, a little alarmed. "Why are you going so hard?"
She kept doing push-ups until her arms wouldn't do another one. Then she knelt on the floor, trying to catch her breath. She wiped her face, neck and arms with a hand towel, chugging more water.
She looked at me like she wondered why I was talking to her. Since the day she had kissed my hand, her attitude toward me had grown darker, probably as she realized how much I was drinking.
Finally, looking away, still breathing hard, she said, "Not on a team. Don't want to get fat." She downed more water.
"But you look great, baby. Your body looks amazing. I don't want to see you kill yourself."