The Moonlight Gaze

This is a sequel to 'one large skinny latte, please'. Although, prior reading is not necessary to the plot of this instalment.

*

I sat amongst the tepid-warmth of the foggy water inside my bath tub. My naked body was doubled over my frail form, curled up inside a ball where no thoughts could enter my head. Of course, the occasional dread would burn right through my bones, with its ice cold touch, but it was more often than not where I could maintain a suitable state of unconsciousness.

It was an inviting prospect; to be thrown into a pit of sulphuric acid and let it extirpate my existence. I wanted, more than anything, to just feel something once again. Since knowing Ele she had been the only thing I thought about, dreamt about, smelt, and tasted- she was all I felt from the corners of my conscious thoughts- right down to the dreams which haunted me as I slept.

I wanted some kind of opiate- no I needed it! So, when an acquaintance known only to live in the rougher parts of my town asked me to attend one of her famous BBQ parties, I had no other choice than to say yes, I would attend.

I had sent Ele a text message, saying I would not be online that night, but she never replied. Since our second meeting she had seemed distant, almost hostile. I had considered asking her why this was so, but in the end I never felt confident enough. To have her barely talk to me was one pain, but to lose her completely was another.

As soon as I got to the BBQ party I headed directly to the alcohol selection, and grabbed a bottle of some vivid blue concoction. For someone who rarely drank carbonated drinks, let alone alcohol, it had seemed like the most adventurous choice. A few hours in and I was bordering on paralytic, although I still felt as though I were in control of my actions.

I remember vacating the front garden, and the area full of the most people, to seek refuge in my friend's kitchen. Stumbling my way through the corridors, I begun to realise how pathetic I was. Twenty years old and I didn't have a career, I didn't have a place to call my own, and not even a working car any more- seeing as mine had failed its recent M.O.T test. A stray tear rolled down my cheeks as I gyrated my body forward and collapsed onto the carpeted floor close to a staircase. Where about, in her house, I was unsure- but I can remember the thumping sensations pounding against my forehead, and the uncontrollable feelings of wanting to get rid of one's insides as quickly as possible.

"Hey, are you okay?" A concerned tone echoed towards me, but I could not see anyone. My area of vision was restricted by the first step of the grey-carpeted staircase.

"Yeah," I lied, unsure of how I even managed to move my mouth to respond.

"You don't look it," She moved my body slightly so I could see her face. She was a small, cute thing- Blonde hair, blue eyes, big boobs- the lot. Rather pretty, as well.

A sudden feeling of extreme sickness came over me, "I feel sick!" I yelled, hoping this would make the turgid feeling in my stomach disappear. It didn't, and instead I found myself being dragged through some blurred corridors, and out into an almost empty neighbour's garden. She supported me with one hand, while holding my hair back with the free one, as I leant over the metal cladding of someone's fence, and vomited out all the vivid blue liquid.

"I recognise you from school, years ago." My rescuer had said, but I had been too busy being sick to turn and examine her properly. After I had finished, however, I turned and gave her another look. Under the moonlight gaze, I could see who she was:

"Yes, I recognise you too, you're Natalie." My heart had sunk as soon as I realised; she had bullied me all through out junior school. It was rather ironic how now, in my time of need, she had been the only one willing to protect me from complete embarrassment.

"Yeah, you're Katherine, right?" I hated my name, and wasted no time in correcting her.

"Kath."- I turned again and began to chuck out more of the vivid blue vomit, this time it landed in the neighbour's planted shrubbery.

"Good job her neighbour's aren't in." She laughed, I smiled though, not impressed with what I had become. "It's funny how you can be throwing your guts up and still look beautiful." I felt her fingers caressing the back of my neck, and I suddenly felt uncomfortably aroused.

"I better get home." I said, pulling away from her soft embrace and crawling across the concrete flooring of the garden.

"Yeah, how do you plan on doing that?"- I paused, she was right, such folly to assume I would be fine to walk in a matter of minuets. "I'll call you a taxi, I know where you live."

I lay myself down on the cold floor, and dropped in and out of sleep for a while. When I awoke I was being dragged into the taxi-cab by more than one person, and I can remember feeling the strange sensation of someone writing something across my stomach with a ball point pen.

I woke up to the concerned voice of my mother, and then fell asleep once more.

My alarm clock had woke me up properly, meaning it was half seven. No matter which day of the week it were, I always got up at half seven. It had been the time me and Ele had agreed to wake up, to give us the longest amount of the day together. However, for once in a long time I did not feel the compelling need to switch on my computer and waste another day. Instead, I looked down at my stomach- where I had thought I felt someone write something- and read the message which had been left for me, which read:

Hi its Nat phone me im sorry about being an idiot in the past

- the message stretched onto my back a little, so I had to get up and check in the mirror, situated in my on sweet bathroom. It took me a while to understand what it said, as in the mirrors reflection it was backwards and Natalie's hand writing was far from fine, in the first place. -

but i really want 2 talk 2 u again i really liked you back in school

- this was shortly followed by, what I assumed to be, her mobile phone number.

After reading it, I couldn't help but smile to myself. It had amused me how she had attempted to use 'text talk', even though at the age of twenty, it seemed a completely immature thing to do. I contemplated rubbing the message off and forgetting about her completely. After all, there was one person I could not betray in all of this, and it was Ele. Despite what ever we were going through at the time, I could not find it inside myself to cheat on her.

I couldn't just erase it, though, something pulled me towards her. I put the digits into my phone, then ran myself a nice cold bath, hoping to bathe away any of the memories leading back to last night.

About a week had past, and I had eventually managed to gather enough courage to phone her. She had hastened me to agree to meet her, but I was still cautious. I had spoken to Ele prior to the phone call, and I had asked her why she had been so distant. She had told me that she felt unsure whether our relationship was working, and that she could see no future in us and no matter how hard it seemed- and this had been partially the motivation towards making the move towards Natalie- we had to move on with our lives. Nat, as she preferred to be called, had told me to come to her flat, as she felt a public place would not allow her to tell me some of the things she needed to. It scared me slightly, thinking about what she could possibly have to say to me, and deep down in my subconscious feelings I knew- I simply knew that Nat had been in love with me all through out her childhood. It had been no secret she was a lesbian, and her relationship with an older woman was speculated for almost the duration of their relationship; which was about five months.

I took the bus to her flat, it was only filled with elderly folk, I guess the route must have lead to some kind of community gathering; perhaps a community centre of some kind. All the way there my heart pounded, and my thoughts raced, but my feelings would always return to Ele. I would always remember back to the first time we met, and the second time when we made love while looking out our hotel window at the world outside.

- And that's how I found myself sat at her small, wooden dining table. I sat with a glass of still, fresh water in one hand, with my other concealed underneath the table, resting upon my legs. I was nervous. She struck an odd type of fear into me, and I had no idea how to act.

"I bet you know what this is about," she said, almost seeming nervous herself. An unusual thing, I thought to myself, to see someone as charismatic as Natalie become cautious and uneasy.

"Not really." I replied, afterwards I took a sip of my water; I could feel my throat tightening as she sat down with a mug of tea clasped within her hands.

"Well, it's sorta hard for me to explain." She paused once more, but continued almost immediately sensing I was going to make no interruptions until she had explained herself, fully. "I've always... Always liked you. Like, proper liked you. Always been scared to talk to you, in case you realised and told everyone who I was. So every time I saw you I'd..."

"Call me fat and laugh?" I said, remembering the time she had taunted me in our English class, and how she had threatened to hit me.

"Yeah," She examined her own body momentarily, as if to compare our statures. "I'm so sorry, it was really pathetic."

"You could say that, yes." I smiled, though, I realised she was sorry. "But I forgive you, we were kids, it's not like anyone means what they say back in those days." At this point, as if it was some kind of signal made by me, she put down her hot mug of tea, and stood directly beside me. She placed her hands down to my face as I looked up to her; I was lost in her beauty and the serenity of the moment. After staring into my eyes, like as if they were some kind of passage into my soul, she knelt down to my level and pressed her lips against mine. She didn't do anything, after that; apart from breathe in long, heavy breaths. She pulled away, and slowly closed her eyes. I had never seen any one so amazing, so sensual and so sexy. She had gently placed a hand upon my lap, and placed it next to my own- yet her eyes remained closed.

"Do you..." She hesitated, and then opened her eyes as if breaking from her dream like state, "is there any chance you could feel the same for me? I don't want to make you like me, you either do or you don't and you mean so much to me and..." I don't know what had taken over me, but I placed my finger over her lips, and stood. Her face looked towards my crotch, and although it was what I wanted- hidden within me- I pulled her up to my level.

"Of course I feel something for you; I always wondered what you really were like, at school and things. I suppose from the minuet I realised it was you, at the party, I understood my feelings for you." I kissed her, gently our lips tangled and our tongue's locked. I felt a throbbing from deep within my essence, knowing somehow I had managed to climb back onto the right road. Things had become so terrible after meeting Ele, I had become a recluse, a loner- someone I had never been before. And, as if by some strange act by destiny, I had found her again- perhaps the woman I was meant to be with.

We exchanged our passionate embrace for at least five minuets, and we only stopped to stare into each others eyes. There was something fascinating about her deep blue eyes, the ethereal serenity they seemed to ooze. She held my hands close her chest, and I could feel her life becoming at one with my own. As we kissed once more, I remember the conversation I had shared with Ele, the one where she had told me it best if we went our separate ways.

"I can't do this, I already have a girlfriend." I said, interrupting the moment. She pulled and looked towards me like it had been the only rejection she had not prepared herself for.

"What?" She replied, perplexed into confusion, I was sure. "Who?"

"It's complicated-"

"Do you love her?" She had seemed to want to compete with Ele, already, not even caring for whom she was, or what she was like. She only wanted to know how this situation would affect her.

"Yes, I do. I love her but I doubt very much that I am in love with her. I could be falling in love with you, too." I paused, it had made so little sense- I could not love two women at the same time. Natalie's face had lit up with the reply, however, and she had grabbed my hand once more in a rush of excitement. I'd answered her question correctly.

"I don't care; as long as we're together I'm willing to make sacrifices." I was not sure whether I felt the same, but the way she tugged at my arm and pushed me towards her bedroom made it so I could not refuse.

She began kissing me softly, once more, and we slowly sank into her small- but ample- double bed. Its blanket had been loosely thrown atop it, and it did not live up to my person hygienic standards. Caught up in the moment, when my heart was racing and my pussy tingled for her ever-soft touch, the mess of her bedroom was the last thing on my mind.

I reached for her top, and pulled it down so I could see her amazing breasts. They danced as I let them loose, and hung in perfection as she sat just by my side. She had begun undressing me, now, but I couldn't keep my eyes away from her. She brushed back her hair, once my jeans had been removed, and lowered her head down to my pussy. She kissed my panties softly, and then moved my top up to reveal the bottom of my black-laced bra. She began sucking on the raised part of my stomach and began exploring my legs with her spare hands. The noise of her lips acting as suction against my skin echoed in the silence of her room. My breathing becoming more and more intense as her mouth lowered towards my pussy. It was so wet, I just wanted her lips around me; her tongue inside of me. She began teasing me with her fingers, softly touching the wet fabric of my pants, just outside of my clit area. She mumbled a sign of pleasure to herself, as I began to explore her breasts with my wandering hands. The two giant bosoms bounced with my touch, and filled more than my handful. I had never felt such big breasts, so I sat up and began to suck on her pink, erect nipples. They tasted so sweet, like the intoxicating perfume she always smelt of- even back when I remembered her at school. As I suckled, I let my loose hands escape to her pussy, and began teasing her too. She moaned, momentarily stopping what she had been doing to me, and took in the pleasure I was giving her. She pulled away from my embrace, and then switched her position so that she was lying on top of me. I sucked on her chin as we began fingering each other, gently rubbing each others clit's as our bodies collided in the moment of passion.

I tipped her over, just as I was about to cum, and lay on top of her. She giggled slightly, and then reached down to my pussy to finish the job off. I stopped her, however; grabbing her wrist and pulling her arms behind her head. I spread out her legs with my feet, and then began rubbing my pussy against hers. At first the feeling was strange, as it was something I had never experienced before, but our pre-cum juices soon helped to lubricate the area- and our bodies began to prickle with pre-orgasmic tension. My back arched downwards as my hips thrust further into Nat's, and her tongue found its self against my neck. She screamed out as we both came into each other's pussies. I had cum juice all over my stomach and down the parting of our legs.

We kissed for a while, and then just held each other for even longer. The silence spoke more than words; and I felt how I had felt with Ele, once more. It suddenly dawned on me, as I gazed into my lover's eyes- I hadn't thought about Ele for the entire duration we made love. I was considering deleting her, just deleting her from ever being connected to me; it would be that simple.

Too late, just as I had told myself- my mobile phone rang from somewhere amongst our scattered clothes.

"Is that yours?" Natalie had asked, I got up to investigate "don't answer it, I want to go again." She spoke with a ferociously dominating tone, and bit her lower lip in a seductively charming manner. I couldn't help but want to ignore it; but it kept on going- and one look at the screen made me realise I had better answer it. It was Ele ringing me, for the first time in about a month.

"Hello..." I answered, shooting Natalie with a concerning expression; she, however, did not take the hint.

"I'm so sorry about what I said, baby, and I can't live with out you."- A pang of guilt ripped right through me- "I've ran away from home, and I'm coming to find you."

"What? Where are you?"

"London tube station- I'm coming to you I looked up where you live on a map and I'm coming."

"No, I'll come and get you, just wait."- I began to collect my clothes, but Natalie would keep grabbing them back and kissing my back trying to make me stay. I pressed the phone against my chest in the hope that Ele would not hear: "I'm sorry, I have to go. It's an emergency. Bye."