Isobel And The Headmistress
This is from a series of stories set in North East Scotland in the year 1910. The parish minister and his wife are an extremely hedonistic couple. However the stories printed here will feature his wife and her companions only. Some of you may be unfamiliar with the word, 'Manse.' Quite simply, it refers to a house inhabited by a parish minister and his family.
Having finished her household tasks, and with her husband off to visit one of his far-flung parishioners, Mrs Isobel Hardy, the wife of the reverend John Hardy, decided to go for a walk. It was a beautiful afternoon early in the summer of 1910, and Isobel naturally wandered down by the riverside. It was always a lovely walk, but especially lovely on a hot day like this, when a soft, cooling breeze wafted across the slow-moving waters.
There was a path of sorts, but much overgrown with disuse, so Isobel was quite surprised when turning a bend in the path she saw a solitary figure sitting under a tree by the riverbank. On drawing closer she realised it was Miss McRobb, the village schoolmistress, who like many schoolteachers of her day was unmarried. She was about 5' 5"tall, her dark hair pulled back in a no-nonsense practical way; a good looking woman in her late twenties, or early thirties, Isobel wasn't quite sure, but she was sure that the schoolteacher was a woman she would like to bed. 'Good day, Miss McRobb,' she said. 'Isn't this weather absolutely divine?' The headmistress nodded in agreement, putting down the book she was reading
'Yes indeed, a glorious day. Come and sit beside me if you have the time Mrs Hardy,' she invited, gesturing to the travel rug spread on the grass. 'It would be nice to talk to someone other than children for a change.' Isobel sat as invited, for although Miss McRobb attended her husband's church, somehow they'd never had much chance to engage in conversation, and Isobel was keen to learn a little more of the lovely Miss McRobb.
They made general conversation of the light variety until Isobel asked what Miss McRobb was reading. Isobel was surprised by the reaction this brought, for Miss McRobb blushed furiously, and looked very evasive. 'Oh, it's nothing, nothing at all, not something you'd be interested in Mrs Hardy,' she spluttered quickly. Isobel could see she was plainly embarrassed. Was Miss McRobb reading something a little improper she wondered?
'How old are you if you don't mind me asking Miss McRobb?' asked Isobel, changing tack.
'I'm 32,' she answered, 'but please, call me Mary.'
'Very well, but only if you promise to call me Isobel; I feel we are going to be good friends and can dispense with such old-fashioned formalities don't you think?' Mary agreed at once. 'You are around the same age as me,' Isobel continued, and I'd like to think of us as modern women of the world,' and again Mary agreed. 'So, nothing you are reading could be shocking, or distasteful to me. Forget I am the minister's wife, and see me as a like-minded friend, eager for knowledge and intelligent conversation.
God knows, there's little enough of it round these parts,' Isobel finished. Mary slowly reached for the book and offered it for Isobel's inspection. 'The Poetic Works Of Sappho,' Isobel read aloud, and again Mary blushed. 'To be honest, and maybe I'm showing myself as a bit of a Philistine here,' said Isobel, 'I found it all rather boring.'
'You've read it?' said Mary, completely taken aback, shock and surprise showing in her features.
'Oh yes, years ago,' Isobel confessed. 'I'm not quite the shrinking violet some would suppose a minister's wife should be.' They both laughed at that, and Isobel continued, 'Oh dear no, I've read some fascinating and enlightening books Mary that would make the elders of the kirk blush.' Again, they both laughed. 'I remember reading somewhere that the devotees of Lesbos used to...' and as if thinking better of it, Isobel let her voice slow and peter out. 'Well, perhaps not,' she said after a pause. Mary sat there, eager eyed.
'Oh, go on Isobel, I'm all agog. You must tell me, now that you've piqued my curiosity,' Mary pleaded. Isobel shook her head slowly as if trying to decide whether to impart her forbidden knowledge. 'Oh, please tell me,' Mary said, taking Isobel's hands in hers, imploring her.
'Well,' she said, drawing it out, making Mary all the more eager, 'I read that the devotees of Lesbos removed all, how shall I put it,' she mused, 'all evidence of hirsute growth from their bodies.' Mary's mouth fell open.
'Mrs Hardy,' she exclaimed, clearly shocked at the revelation and once again blushing furiously. Isobel laughed.
'Oh Mary, you look so lovely when you blush, it's quite the most endearing thing. Have you never tried it yourself?' she teased.
'Mrs Hardy,' Mary exclaimed, 'I'm... I'm... I'm shocked. Never, never... the thought has never even occurred to me,' she added.
'Oh Mary, you're such an innocent. Many cultures throughout the world practice depilation. It's not the slightest bit strange, and it's wonderfully cool and hygienic at this time of year,' she added. Mary said nothing, and they both sat there for a while unspeaking. Isobel could see that Mary was thinking, and didn't want to interrupt her thought processes. Eventually Mary looked up.
'Wonderfully cool - do you mean?' she left the sentence unfinished. Isobel nodded, laughing. Mary started giggling too. 'Oh, dear me,' she managed to get out at last, 'you're such a wicked woman for a minister's wife.' They both laughed even more. Eventually, the laughter died off and they sat quietly for a few moments, Mary obviously thinking again. 'How...?' she pondered, a puzzled look on her face.
'I shave it,' Isobel answered. 'First of all, I trim most of it off with scissors until there is only a short, uniform stubble, and then I shave the rest off with one of those wonderful little safety razors introduced by Mr Gillette just a few years ago. It leaves the skin wonderfully smooth, and it looks marvellous - you must try it sometime.' Again, Mary blushed to the roots of her hair.
'Oh Isobel, I couldn't. It seems wickedly depraved,' Mary said. 'I don't even own a razor, where would I get one? I'd probably cut myself too, oh no, it's too much to contemplate. Isobel laughed.
'Methinks the lady doth protest too much,' quoted Isobel. 'I have a razor, so you could borrow mine, and I don't get cuts, because my husband shaves it for me.' This further revelation shocked Mary even more.
'Isobel, you're shameless,' she blurted out. 'The very thought of you... you... and the minister. My head is spinning.' Isobel reached over and hugged her.
'Oh, deary me Mary,' she soothed. 'It's only a natural thing between man and wife - nothing to get in a tizzy over. It's all a bit of fun. You really should be very bold and modern, and try it for yourself.'
'I admit I am intrigued,' Mary conceded at last, 'but I've no husband as you may have noticed. I just know I'd cut myself and probably do some permanent damage, no, no, it's quite impossible,' she finished. They sat there again saying nothing in the warm afternoon sun. The only sounds were the buzzing of the occasional bumble bee, the birds, and the soothing sound of the river flowing past, until Isobel at last broke the silence.
'I'll do it for you,' Isobel said finally, with a wicked smile on her face as if the thought had just occurred to her. Mary giggled.
'I couldn't possibly... I mean... show myself to you like that. I'd die of shame and embarrassment,' she protested. 'No, it's out of the question.'