The Maeover

Some people won't let you miss them when they walk down the street. They swagger or strut so that your eye can't help but follow their steps, regardless of whether they are especially attractive or interesting. Rowan's walk is not like this. Her stride is quick and efficient, and quietly so; it's all about getting there, nothing about being seen. But I do see her, and I'm glad I do. She's not glamorous ... the opposite really: hardly a scrap of makeup and loose clothes that might have been borrowed from a boyfriend, if that boyfriend were skinny, and Rowan the kind of girl to have boyfriends. But she is self-contained and - does she know it? - very pretty, if quirkily so, with a natural shyness that makes it easy either to say hello or just watch her pass.

The sunlight has encouraged me to look out of the first floor window on the street, and maybe that is what makes her look up. She catches me looking directly at her and smiles broadly, self-consciously.

'Hi, Rowan. You visiting Mum?'

She's carrying a small bunch of flowers. 'Not exactly. Feeding the cat while they're away.' She stops and looks at me. Not for the first time, I am aware that she likes me. She is much younger than I am but her interest in me seems more like the feeling you have for someone your own age.

'What are you up to?' she enquires, and she sounds genuine rather than just polite.

'Cleaning the windows, for the first time in a year. And having a clear out. In fact, there's something here you should try. Hang on.'

Seconds later, I hold a yellow vest top up to the window. 'I think this would suit you. It's too small for me.'

'Thanks,' she smiles, a bit uncertainly. 'I can't see it properly.'

'Come in the front garden.'

I ball up the little vest and throw it, and she catches it. 'What do you think?'

'I like it. Can I go and try it on and bring it back if it doesn't fit?'

'Yeah, sure.' She seems happy and I think, You are so sweet-natured! 'Why don't you come over, either way? I've got other stuff I'm getting rid of that you may as well have a look at.'

'Are you sure? Aren't you busy?' I think she wants to ask whether my husband is there but doesn't want to be too direct. I say, 'No. I've had enough of windows now and I'm on my own today.'

Her shy smile grows. 'All right then. I'll just feed the cat and be over in ten minutes.'

I'm rather pleased with myself. I've long harboured the idea of luring Rowan into my home to give her a bit of a makeover, and the perfect opportunity has made itself. I hope I'm not being a 'bad mum' type, but she could make so much more of herself -- and without losing that simplicity which is so attractive about her. Clothes that fit, for a start, that might even show off her enviable, slim figure. Plus one or two dressy things, perhaps. But I mustn't get carried away and frighten her off, I tell myself. She just needs a nudge in the right direction.

I put together a little pile of things for her to consider and find myself looking forward to her visit. We've never been alone together, and my feeling is one I haven't had for some time. It's something like making a new friendship with a less confident girl at school. And -- yes -- I'm subtly excited.

I look across the street and straight into the living room at the front of her family home. Rowan has the cat on her lap and she is stroking her. It's nice to see her affection for the cat -- I like the cat's little explorations of our garden too -- and Rowan's violinist's fingers look sensuous as they drag through the fur. It strikes me that I've never seen any public display of affection between her and her girlfriend, Kavi. No stroking of hair like this, no kisses. I wonder whether it's because they don't want to attract the wrong kind of attention or simply that they are private. Or maybe they just are not very physical towards each other ... but that is somehow hard to believe, in two lovely young women.

I open the door and for a moment I'm not sure how to act. She's wearing her one nod to fashion, a pink beanie, which covers very little of her beautiful long, red hair. In a split second, I register a change: Rowan has put on a little makeup -- eyeliner and a dab of blusher to accentuate her serious cheekbones -- and I'm flattered because it's clearly for me. I take the plunge and kiss one cheek and then the other, and we have a spontaneous hug. It's brief but warm.

'Let's go up,' I say. 'And we can have a fresh coffee.'

'Do you have any herbal teas?'

'A selection. You can have one of those instead.'

I show her where the teas are and invite her to choose while I concentrate on the coffee machine. Stretching to examine the teas in my kitchen, she looks younger and even more slender. She watches me for a few moments and says, 'I don't normally have caffeine after lunch, but that coffee ... now you're making it, I want it.' She giggles and blushes just a little, as if she's confessed to something naughty. 'Can I change my mind?'

'Of course. Sit down and I'll make you my sort of flat white. Oh, and have a glance at the clothes in the pile.'

'I love your place,' she says when I give her the coffee. 'You've got it just the way you want it, I imagine.'

'Pretty much, yes, thanks. Now ... do you think you will want any of the clothes?'

'Well. I haven't looked properly yet. They're nice, good quality. I'm not sure they're me, though.'

You can be different! I think to myself. I want to tell her to rethink her whole look but I immediately tell myself to keep quiet. Rowan is Rowan! What I say is, 'You need to try them on. Try them all on ... unless you've got to be somewhere?'

'I'm completely free. Kavi is visiting friends in South London and staying over.'

'You can take as long as you want, then.'

'I don't want to hold you up from your art. Are you doing it today?'

'I might do a bit later, but I'm not worried. Today, I'd rather sort these clothes out. And anyway,' I add with a smile, 'I'm enjoying having a coffee with my lovely neighbour. Lovely ex-neighbour, I should say!'

And she blushes, appealingly. It's occurred to me in the past that she might be attracted to me, when she's been a bit shy or awkward around me -- and one specific time when she was with her girlfriend and, I thought, trying not to look at me. Now I'm sure, and I don't mind at all. To be honest, in fact, I'm flattered. I'm used to men wanting me -- there are always a few that can't keep their eyes off me -- and women often pay me compliments -- but it's different to have a pretty girl, twenty years your junior, blushing over you. It makes me want to give her another hug. But I don't. We simply don't know each other that well.

'I'm enjoying it too. Where can I change?'

'Follow me.'

I'm conscious of my miniskirt as I walk upstairs. I wouldn't normally wear such a short one unless I am going somewhere special with Nick but I've been trying on all different kinds of clothes and left it on. I can feel Rowan's eyes on me but if she thinks it's too short for a woman of my age, she doesn't give that thought away. She's smiling when I turn to her.

'You can change in here if you need privacy,' I tell her, nodding to the little room where we keep most of our clothes, 'or in the main bedroom if you like. I don't mind. There's more space in here,' I say as we enter the master bedroom.

'I remember this from your housewarming. It's even better now. I love all the details: the plant, your jewellery display, the shoes everywhere! You definitely have this room just as you want.'

'Definitely in the bedroom. And thank you. I'm glad you approve. I hope you like the clothes too -- but absolutely no pressure. If you don't like anything, someone else will, and we'll just have had a bit of fun.'

'Are you trying things on too?'

'I may do. I've done it a lot over the past two days but there are some bits I still have to decide about. I can ask what you think.'

'Can I put this pile on your bed, Livvy?' she asks.

'Best to. There's no surface in the other room. And the long mirror in here is better too.'

'Basically, it's better to stay in here with you to try things on,' she says with a little enigmatic smile.

'Unless you don't want me to see?' I suggest.

'Of course I do. Although ... I have always been a bit shy.'

'I totally get that. But you don't need to be shy with me.'

I keep an eye on Rowan, enjoying her little expressions as she inspects each garment, particularly when she likes something. She suddenly takes off her rather shapeless top, under which she is wearing a white cotton vest. She puts on a plain, if good quality, pullover which immediately looks better because it is fitted and gives away some of her shape.

'What do you think?' I ask.

'I like it. It's a good fit.'

'Sure. Now do you want to try something brighter? What about this jumper?' I hold up a bright green pullover with a wide open neck.

She takes it and puts it on while I watch, closer this time.

'Now that really does suit you. Perfect with your hair.'

She goes to the mirror and shifts position slightly self-consciously and smiles. 'I would never normally pick such a bright colour but I do like it. Do you think the neck suits me?'

'That's the best part!' I reply, and try not to overdo the enthusiasm. 'You've got a lovely clavicle to show off. Obviously not with this vest under it. Better with a pretty bra ... maybe one with a standout strap that's made to be seen. What bra have you got on today?'

She blushes. 'I'm not wearing one at the moment. I was in a hurry.'

'Oh, I see,' I say, and rush to reassure her. 'If I were able to go without a bra, I definitely would, most of the time. Not that I'm complaining. I'm very fond of my breasts ... but it would be nice not to have to wear one.'

'You've got lovely breasts,' she says quickly, earnestly.

'Thank you! That's a compliment, from someone of your age. Now I think of it, there are a couple of bras I'm getting rid of because they're a bit tight. You could try one of those?'

She looks embarrassed. 'They probably wouldn't be my size.'

'What are you?'

'Usually a 32B or sometimes A.'

'At least one is a 32B. I'll get them,' I add quickly before she can put me off. I bet she has very few pretty bras, I think to myself. My drive to give her a makeover is beating my feeling that I should leave her be!

'These are both 32B,' I say as I come back. 'And I think they would both work against your fair skin.'

'They do look very nice.' She lifts the jumper over her head and I look properly for the first time.

'No wonder I couldn't tell you weren't wearing a bra,' I say admiringly. 'You really don't need one.'

'They're not that small!' Rowan laughs.

'I didn't mean that! I mean, they just sit up. Defying gravity.'

We both laugh.

'I should try these on in private, really.'

'Yes, I suppose you should,' I agree. There's a pause when she doesn't leave. I don't stop to ask myself why, but I want her to try them in front of me. 'Though it might be handy for me to do up the back. You know, to get the sizing right. With two bras you aren't familiar with.'

'Well, I guess you are the best person for knowing how these bras work.'

We smile at each other and I'm surprised to feel a little tingle rise through me.

'Which one shall I try first?'

'Oh, this one,' I say, lifting a purple strap towards her.

'Okay,' she says slowly and grips the bottom of her vest. She lifts it over her head and I see her breasts for the first time, stretched up. I don't want to stare but she is a lovely sight and I enjoy it for a moment while her vest covers her face.

She giggles shyly but she is confident about her body. I feel obliged to say something. 'Talking of lovely breasts ...'

'Let's see if they fit,' she smiles. She turns as she puts on the front, inviting me to do up the back. Her back is athletic, with smooth fair skin. I sense the warmth of her body as I fasten the clip. 'That's the loosest,' I tell her.

'I think it could be tighter.'

I pull the bra in and fasten it again. This time, my fingers sweep down her soft skin nearly to her waist. She shivers almost imperceptibly.

'That feels nice,' she says quietly. 'The bra is comfortable. How does it look?'

She turns and I say, 'So pretty! I love it. Look in the mirror.'

She steps over to it and I follow a second after. She looks at herself. 'You're right. It is very pretty.' Then she looks at me behind her. 'Thank you. Again!' she tells my reflection. She turns and goes to kiss my cheek but, even as she moves, I can see her as she changes her mind and impulsively gives me a kiss on the lips. She walks past me quickly and picks up the other bra. The kiss can't be ignored though; it's still there on my lips like a tiny vibration. I feel it warming me and wonder whether I am blushing now.

Rowan doesn't look at me. She takes the bra off and replaces it with the second one, a more structured black bra. To join the two sides behind her back, I have to move her long hair this time. I lift it in a bunch over one shoulder and touch the top of her arm. Her hand fleetingly strokes my hand, as if instinctively. My fingers travel swiftly down her back and fasten the clasp.

'What's this one like?'

I appraise her carefully. 'I'm not so sure. See what you think.'

We repeat the process at the mirror and I am sure that we are both recalling the kiss she gave me in the same position, just moments ago. This time Rowan laughs. 'Oh no. I am totally lost in this. It has to come off.' She removes it and holds it in front of me. 'I feel bad, rejecting your bra like that. It's another very pretty one but it's just not for me.'

'Exactly. That's absolutely fine. I'm glad the first one fits you so perfectly.'

'Me too. But what about you? Haven't you got any bras that need trying on?'

I laugh. 'No, I'm afraid I've worn everything here.'

'That's a pity. I'd like to return the favour.'

'Actually, Nick did give me a bodysuit that I haven't had a chance to try yet. I could do that.'

'Perfect.'

Rowan is more at ease now and, when I take off my top, she watches unashamed. I turn to take off my bra and she says, 'Let me help.'

It's quite unnecessary but I let her undo the rear strap and her fingers caress my back as the bra comes away. I turn and reach for the bodysuit.

'I was not wrong. You really do have lovely breasts.'

I like to be admired and, although I'm not into women, I find myself a little turned on by Rowan's compliment. She says it so frankly it is clear that she is not just being kind. And now it's my turn to feel a little self-conscious. 'I'll go next door to put the body on,' I say.

I find myself wanting to get back to Rowan and show her. I want to be admired again by those big, wide eyes. I put the body on quickly and, aware that it is tight, return to the bedroom. 'What do you think? How does it look?'

I can tell from her immediate reaction that she doesn't like it. 'You look good, of course, but ... maybe it needs adjusting.'

I go to the mirror and I don't like what I see. 'No. This isn't right. It just does not suit me.'

'It's not the best thing I've seen on you.'

'I really don't like it. My soft bits are bulging out in the wrong places. I look squidgy!'

She can see that I am a bit upset by it and says, 'No one suits everything. Not even you.'

'I'm going to get it off straight away. I hate it. I look awful!'

'It's really not that bad.' She looks at me with sympathy and adds, 'Let me give you a hug.'

She puts her arms under mine, around my back. For such a slender girl, she feels soft and warm. 'Maybe you should try it,' I suggest. 'It might work on you.'

She giggles. 'I don't think so. I reckon my squidgy bits would be squeezed too.'

'You haven't got any squidgy bits! I can tell from this cuddle.'

'Mmmm. It's a nice cuddle,' she says quietly into my shoulder.

'Yes, it is. It's just what I needed after trying this on.' I smell her fresh long hair and it tickles my nose so I move a tiny bit and so does she. We don't let go of each other when we stop talking but instead subside into a more relaxed embrace. Rowan makes a low sound like a purr and I feel her hands move just a tiny bit on my back. I know I'm not into women, not in that way, but I am really enjoying our sensual closeness. I don't want it to stop yet, not for a while, and I'm confident she feels the same. My arms loosen a little on her back and we both shift position slightly. Her hair brushes my mouth and I instinctively kiss it lightly; a second later, Rowan's lips brush against my neck ever so softly. We are still again for a moment and then she kisses my neck more distinctly. It feels good, her lips caressing me in a tender way; it's almost a tiny stroke rather than a kiss, but I sense her warm breath and I think her breathing has increased.

I realise I ought to stop her before she gets the wrong idea.

'That's lovely, Rowan, but ...' I whisper.

'Should I stop?' We are still holding each other.

'Yes. I think you should.'

'Okay then,' she sighs. 'Such a good cuddle!'

'It is,' I agree.

She kisses my neck once more and pulls back. We look at each other and smile. And we stand like this for a few seconds. I look at her lovely face, still a little flushed from our contact, and I want her. I really want her. And even as I realise, she recognises my desire and steps forward. Our mouths meet for a sensual moment of hesitation and then we are kissing fully and deeply. My tongue goes into her mouth and explores her hungrily. Then hers tentatively probes my mouth, her tongue flicking against mine, before she pushes it further. The release of desire is powerful and liquid. I feel it tingling all over my body.

We break off and laugh, shyness coming back momentarily, and then we kiss again, my hand finding its way through her long hair while her fingers stroke my upper body, making my skin come alive.

After what feels like a long, indulgent time, I break off and kiss her cheek, aware that my lips are wet from our enjoyment. 'We really should stop now.'

She nuzzles her cheek against my neck. 'Is it your husband?'

My husband? I think of Nick and how he would react, how he will react, when I tell him about this. I think of his big erection in my hand as I recount the detail of our snog. 'My husband. No. I don't have to worry there.'

'Do you have an open relationship?'

'No. Not at all. It's just that he ... he wouldn't object if I kissed a woman. He would see it as different from a man.'

'A woman isn't a threat? Because she's not serious?'

'No, it's not that. Well. Sort of. It's because he knows I'm not ... I'm not gay. Or bi.' I pull back and say, 'I'm really not.'

We are still holding each other, at a stretch. 'That's okay. Everyone is different. But I can say one thing about you.' She comes in close again.

'What's that?'

'You're a very good kisser.' She brushes my lips and I don't hesitate: my mouth opens for her. 'Let me help you out of this bodysuit. It doesn't flatter you.'

'You're right!'

'Come on. In front of the mirror.'

'I don't want to see it again!' I protest.

'Exactly. You want to see it off you! Let me help you out of it.'

'Okay then.'

I walk to the mirror and Rowan undoes the hook and eye at the rear. She eases one strap over one shoulder and then the other.

'You better do the rest,' she says. I pull the top away and my breasts come into view as the top half of the body falls.

'That's better,' she says. 'And no one can disagree,' she smiles.

'True,' I say, rather pleased with myself.

'Do you know what the first thing is, I have to do when I take off any bra?'

'No. What do you have to do?'

'I thought every woman was the same as me. I have to lift my boobs up, stretch them.'