Written for the
The 2022 "Hammered: an Ode to Mickey Spillane" Author Challenge
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This story contains graphic violence
*
The first time I met Clara Moody we were in the back of a Suffolk county sheriff's car on our way to Women's Correctional.
I didn't pay much attention when they put her in. It wasn't my first trip and I had learned to keep my head down and my mouth shut. But then she nudged my knee with hers.
"You ever watch that show, The Gilmore Girls?" she asked.
I considered ignoring her but I was curious why she had asked. I nodded and said, "Yeah."
"That was supposed to be in a small New England town, right?"
"Connecticut, I think."
I looked at her for the first time. She was cute. Somehow she managed to look girlish and hard ass at the same time.
"Okay, so where's the fuckin' meth lab? Every little town in New England has a fuckin' meth lab."
"Good point. Where's the diner where the old fuckers sit around and bellyache about how this was a great country before the queers and the coloreds showed up?"
"Why don't you bitches pipe down?" the deputy barked over his shoulder.
"Whoa. Mister grumpy," Clara laughed.
I shrugged. "Who can figure cops? They always get their way but they are still pissed off all the time."
"True that," she nodded. "I'm Clara, by the way."
She reached her shackled hand as close as she could to mine. I could just hook her pinkie finger with my own.
"I'm Janice."
"How much you get?"
"A year. Guy I was with got pulled over for speeding. He stuffed three grams of coke and an unregistered handgun in my purse. Told the cops they were mine."
"What did he get?"
"Probation."
"Fuckers."
"You bitches are always innocent ain't you?" The deputy growled. "Always blaming the husband or the boyfriend."
"Not me," Clara said, "I'm guilty as fuck." She turned to me and said, "You know how in cartoons and shit people are always bashing each other in the head with frying pans?"
"Yeah."
"That shit really works."
"Who did you bash?"
"Bitch that was fucking my ex. Busted her jaw. Put her ass in a coma, but only for about a week."
"If he was your ex, why did you care if she was fucking him?"
"I don't know, just general principles, I guess."
"What did you get?"
"Three year bid."
"Damn, that's a pisser."
"Yeah, well, she coulda died. On the bright side, she ain't gonna be sucking his dick for a while."
The deputy grumbled unintelligibly.
Clara leaned forward. "Hey, you like getting your dick sucked, don't ya?"
He didn't reply.
"Listen," she said, "If you stop someplace and get us Chinese food, I'll suck your dick."
"It will be a while before you get Chinese again," he said.
Clara looked at me. "Maybe if we both sucked his dick?"
"I wouldn't mind getting a couple of egg rolls," I said.
"You think he ever had his dick sucked by two girls?"
"You mean at the same time or in his life?"
Clara laughed, but the deputy hit the brakes and shouted. "One more word and I'll pull over and you can both suck on my fucking taser."
We were both veterans of the system. We knew when to shut up.
We arrived at the WC without getting any Chinese food or electric shocks.
As the deputy was signing the paperwork remanding us to the Department of Corrections, Clara muttered, "Next time you see some bitch biting into an egg roll, you're going to think of us."
He glowered at her, then left as we were checked in for processing.
We were assigned to different units and went our separate ways.
A week later, I saw her again.
I was assigned to kitchen duty, and spent the first week in the dish room. But the different jobs were on a rotation, and in the second week I was put on the service line.
I was standing behind the steam tables, slopping out powdered eggs. I heard a voice call out,"Yo, bitch! You got any egg rolls?"
I looked up and saw Clara, four or five spots down the line. She laughed and waved. She had a sexy little dimple on the left side of her mouth when she laughed.
She reached my station and asked, "How come I'm sweating my tits off in the fucking laundry, while you got this nice kitchen job?"
"I don't know," I said, "Maybe they didn't want you getting your hands on a frying pan."
"You are one funny bitch," she snickered. "Stay cool."
We flirted like that every morning for the rest of the week. At least, I thought it was flirting. Maybe she saw it differently. A few weeks later, I drew serving duty again. But now, she was coming through the line every morning with a tough looking little redhead.