[Redacted] University, sophomore year:
Whenever I need some peace and quiet and I need to get some work done, I go to the library. Not to the study area, or the reading room, but up into the stacks. There are a couple of spots where there are desks in corners and in gaps in the shelves. They are always quiet and almost always deserted.
I went up there to one corner of the 6th floor one day to get some work done. It was usually empty, but today there was another girl sitting at one of the desks in that little corner. She was dressed in something like a yellow track suit with shorts. She had a laptop computer with a set of headphones plugged in. She looked like she was watching something, but I couldn't see what it was from the other desk.
She didn't look up at me when I walked in, so I decided it wasn't worth going up another floor just to avoid her, so I put my stuff down and took out my books. I don't really remember what I was trying to get done that day, transcribing lecture notes or summarizing a reading for some class, but whatever it was, I started in on it. At first it was pretty easy to ignore the girl in yellow. Our desks were facing each other at a 90 degree angle, so she was always it my field of vision if I looked up, but at first, I just didn't look up.
A couple of times, out of the corner of my eye, I saw her move. I kept my focus at first, but then I looked up, wondering if she was getting up to leave. She wasn't, but she was moving her hand up and down the side of her body, down her leg, then up to her chest. Weird. Maybe she's itchy? I went back to my work.
I saw her move again. I looked up. Now her hand was up inside her shirt, and I could tell she didn't have a bra on. I tried to keep ignoring her, but it wasn't long before I looked up again. Ok, now she was definitely rubbing her breasts, playing with her nipples. I couldn't see the screen of her laptop, but she was concentrating on it pretty intensely. What was she watching?
I tried not to think about her, to keep my eyes on my notebooks, but I couldn't hold it for very long. I looked back up. Her hand was down her shorts now, stroking herself back and forth.
I couldn't pretend she was doing anything innocent any longer. She was clearly masturbating. She must have some kind of porn on that laptop. Who masturbates in the library? I guess I come up here for privacy sometimes, but this is a little different! And it wasn't like she stopped when I showed up.
Did she know I was here? She was staring intently at her screen since I walked in, and she had headphones on, maybe she thought she was still alone? I coughed a little to let her know I was there.
No response. I hoped she wouldn't be too embarrassed to find out I was here. I decided I would pretend I hadn't noticed. I coughed a little louder.
She looked up, but she didn't stop. Her fingers kept churning underneath her shorts. She looked me right in the eye. Forgetting my plan to not 'notice', I met her gaze. She smiled and gave me a nod and never stopped fingering herself.
I had no idea how to respond to this, so I just stared blankly for a moment. I dropped my gaze, but it just landed on her crotch again. I could see her pinky finger poking out of the leg of her shorts. She probably wasn't wearing any panties either.
I stared back at my work, but I couldn't even see it, my mind was fully occupied with this girl and nothing could tear it away. Was she really going to rub one out right there in front of me? Did she get some kind of pleasure from being seen? Being caught? What was she expecting me to do? What
should
I do? Should I tell her to knock it off? No, I couldn't do that, my introverted brain would never let me. I couldn't keep working, or even pretend to keep working. The obvious solution was to pack up as quickly as possible and get the hell out of of there.
But something in me kept me rooted to the desk. It would still be embarrassing to run off like that, but I also had a lingering curiosity. If I ran off, I would never know what she was up to. I didn't want to be left wondering forever, did I? And thirdly, I couldn't admit it to myself at the time, but I did feel, deep down, a little turned on by the whole situation.
I never considered myself a lesbian, I'd never been with a girl, though I had occasionally been turned on by girls in porn or other places. What fascinated me most was her confidence. Being as awkward and shy as I am, the idea of someone so sure of herself that she could just straight up masturbate in front of a total stranger, and then look them in the eye while doing it! It was completely unfathomable.