It mattered little to me that I had just lost the best job I ever had. What was paining me was the aloof way Maisha had snubbed me the evening before. I had rented a limo, dressed in a new European tux, bought very expensive bubbly and drove to pick her up, and when that womyn came to the door, she asked me,"Whats up babe?."
She was wearing a bathrobe and so of course I thought she was getting ready, maybe running a little late, and I asked her if that was so..and she replied that she was otherwise detained at the moment and would I please come back.
I said, "Hey babe, don't you remember, we have plans to do the opera and then dinner and dancing?" I was standing there waiting for her to answer when she looks over her shoulder back into her apartment and says to me, "Well honey...I, uh...I...I just forgot all about that, honey dont be mad at me, c'mon baby."
And just as I was about to forgive this fine fox with her big pouty lips, I hear a womyns' voice from her apartment asking 'where you be baby, come on back inside and get it good'
I just stared at her..my mouth hanging down in disbelief, thinking how could she do me this way. Damn bitch.
"I uh...have made a mistake here..you take care," I said as I walked back down the stairs to the limo. I took one more look at her shaking my head when I heard her say, " Baby, its not what you think, baby, come back..I'll get rid of her, you wait babe, OK? OK baby?"
But I kept going and then I remember telling the driver to take me to Wild Side West, and I remember going in there, but I don't remember going home. I must have drank all night long and then slept way too late and seeing as how I had already been on probation for this gig, showing up late was more than they could handle..so I got the boot.
Now, Maisha and I had been going around together for about 2 years and I thought that she and I had a good thing going on, I guess I was wrong. Big time. She was a lot of fun and I knew I would miss her, I just didn't want it to be now...sheesh, my birthday was 2 weeks away and before that it would be Valentine's Day...Damn, I had so many plans, just wanting to make my baby happy. I guess I failed big time on that score.
I drove to the union office and gave them my release papers from the Hotel and checked the boards for another high paying gig. There were a couple of prospects and I took down their numbers to call when I got home.
The day was cloudless and brisk and instead of hailing a cab I walked home. It felt like the longest walk of my life. Inside of me I ached with an aloneness that knew no bounds. I though I would call her, but then decided it hurt too much to forgive.
Once home I called the numbers and landed a maybe at an Italian joint in the inner Sunset. The proprietor asked me if I could come by on Monday as they were closed on Sundays. I said OK, relieved that I had a few days to stretch before hammering away again.
I went in a ran a bath and soaked for an hour until the water turned cold and I felt the numbness of opaque...I was like a piece of crystal that had fallen from some shelf...my edges still held color but I was apart.
As I was dressing I thought I would go check out the local scene. I put on my harness and an average phallus and tucked it into my 501s and then an old denim shirt and a black leather vest.
I hailed a cab down the block at Sacramento and Larkin and headed towards the Castro. At Noe I got out and walked down Market Street. I passed many womyn along the way and cruised and often when I turned around I saw that they too had turned to look. Passing Leticias' and looking in the window I saw Patrick by the back pantry, so i opened the door and stepped in to say hello. He was currently folding napkins talking with another waiter.
Patrick and I had the good fortune to meet while working at a restaurant in Sonoma a few years back.
"Hello boys! How the hell are ya?"
They both turned around in an affected manner, with their hands out in front of them waving and jumping up and down saying, "Hi Girl! What brings you uptown? Looking for that honey you call fine? Eh?"
"Uh...Nope, I'm flying solo these days. The girl is gone," I said shaking my head and then blowing air out of my mouth thru closed teeth.
"Why babygirl? What happened? Patrick said as he put his arm around me and drew me in close to him. And then in a stronger firm voice, he added," That bitch, I dont care what she did. I never liked her, she wasn't good enough for you honey."
"Thanks Pat, I needed that. Dont worry Im cool," I said as I leaned back against the wall and reached for a slice of French bread on the table.
"Ahem, I see you are packing 'Big Daddy' tonight, are you going out chasing skirt?", said Gary the other waiter there.