The Elf Who Shagged Me

There's a lot of build up here -- the sex doesn't get started for a while.

***

"I'm not doing it, Louie."

"Aw, come on, Tina. It's funny."

"No. It wasn't even funny the first time. And definitely not the fourth. I know you don't like humans, but they have families to take care of just like we do. Give it a rest."

"But it's a holiday tradition. Like us."

"You want the big guy to find out?"

"You wouldn't. You went along with it every other year."

"I shouldn't have gone along with it before and I'm done. It's wrong and you know it."

I used to love pranks. For younger elves they're like breathing. But I had just turned 125 and was no longer considered young. And since I'd been ogling one particular woman at Macy's through the cameras, I had started to see humans a little differently. A little more sympathetically. I'd also just completed a degree in Project Management and was hoping for a promotion. If Louie wanted to pull a prank, he'd have to do it without my involvement.

"Spoilsport."

"Whatever. You done with those dolls?"

"You know I'm not."

"So get back to it."

Louie sighed and headed back to the doll building. I knew I'd never win any awards for diplomacy, but not all elves are perky. And let's get this out of the way -- we're not short. Like most elves, I'm tall and very slim. At 5'8', I'm considered average for a female elf. Those Christmas movies where tiny elves have ridiculous baby voices never fail to get a laugh when they're shown at the Pole. They're holiday traditions with us, too.

I did another scan of the monitors in front of me. I'm a voyeur at heart and I love being on call for the IT department right before the Big Bang, as we call it. I'm proud of my part in creating the new technology too. For years we simply recorded kids' conversations with all the Santas out there and then transcribed them, entering kids' wishes by hand into the computer. Now voice recognition software translates the wishes into data, cross-references them with the identity of the child, and then adds the information to the database automatically. The wonders of modern technology have changed even Santa's operations.

My eyes rested on the woman I'd been watching for the past couple weeks in the Macy's toy department. Watching her bending over to talk with the kids in line, I shook my head at the ridiculous "elf" costume she wore. Whose crazy idea was it to put a mini-skirt on a North Pole elf? No one in their right mind would wear one in the Arctic.

I didn't mind the view it gave me of her gorgeous legs, though. Her costume was gathered above and below her chest and accented her generous breasts. She worked the evening shift and was usually the last one in the area.

That's why Louie and I had been arguing. For the past several years, he had visited one of the department stores and wreaked havoc overnight. The employee who closed up usually ended up getting fired. I wasn't going to let that happen to her.

But talking about it did plant a seed in my mind. What if I visited her? No one would have to know. I wouldn't do any mischief, and I'd be able see her up close that way.

That night while I tried to fall asleep I wondered why I'd noticed her in the first place. I'd been on call during The Push for years and I'd never been drawn to humans before -- they were just images on the monitors.

Sure, I was a little lonely since Grace left. I'd been with her for a few months and I was hurt when she left for Ireland, but I'd known it wouldn't last forever. She couldn't stand the long winters. She was party girl anyway. She'd left last January saying she didn't want to miss another Saint Paddy's Day.

So it'd been a while since I'd had any companionship. But a human? I'd heard rumors about elf/human relationships, but I didn't know anyone who'd had one. This woman did something to me.

* * *

We have a code of conduct at the Pole just like any workplace. The details might be a little different ("Elves do not swear") but the idea's the same. The next morning I broke it twice.

First I messed with the cameras. I altered some of the programming code so that the camera at Macy's wasn't positioned correctly, which messed up the data gathering. Then I reported the incident and fixed it. I broke the code of conduct again when I convinced my boss that I needed to go to Macy's to ensure nothing was out of whack at the site.

The next day, I grabbed an afternoon shuttle to New York. There's transport running daily to the warehouses during the Push. You didn't really think all those presents get transported on a single sleigh from the North Pole in one night, did you? We're good, but nobody's that good.

At any other time of year, it's practically impossible to be dressed as an elf and walk into a department store without attracting a lot of attention. But around Christmas, most people don't bat an eye. People see what they want to see, and they want to see some employee on break in their costume -- my short, dark hair is spiky, so I look young, and I'd worn my greens.

Around 3:30, I casually walked into Santa's Village. I instantly caught sight of her, and she was incredible. Her beautiful chestnut hair was wavy and shoulder length and she looked just like a pin-up girl. The black and white monitors hadn't done her justice. She had beautiful brown eyes, high cheekbones, peaches and cream complexion, small nose, succulent lips, and a smile that could light up the Rockefeller Plaza Christmas tree.

I wandered around the fake snow-covered village, watching her, pretending to be looking at toys. At one point, not surprisingly, I heard, "He's too tall for an elf." I ignored the comment. I know I look androgynous, so nothing in that sentence surprised me. I also realized wearing my greens was a mistake. What if someone did mistake me for an employee and asked me to find a toy for them?

Then it hit me, and my stomach sank. The Pole could see me on the cameras. I'd better make it look like I was truly checking the cameras, so I walked closer. I was closer to her that way too. I didn't even know if she was a lesbian until we made eye contact. We both recognized a kindred spirit. She smiled.

"Are you working? That's not a costume I recognize."

"Not here. I work for another Santa. Just coming to check out..." My voice faded out. I'd been so wrapped up in thinking about this woman that I hadn't even thought to create a cover story.

"The competition?"

"Yeah."

Yeah, that's it.

Feeling suddenly awkward, I stuck my hand out quickly. "My name's Tina."

"Hi Tina. Nice to meet you. I'm Maggie. I'd love to talk but..."

"Yeah, I know. Duty calls," I said. "I should be going."

"Well, have a good rest of your day," she said.

"Thanks. You too."

I felt disappointed, which is when I realized I might have had unrealistic expectations. What was I hoping -- that we'd throw each other down right there in Santa's Village? I walked around the wrapped toy boxes and huge plastic candy canes, making a point to look directly at the cameras from several angles. A few minutes later, I decided it might be time to head back to the Pole.

I'd convinced myself that seeing her might help me get over my desire. Who was I kidding? Standing in front of the candy machine is the wrong time to try to convince myself I don't want M&Ms. I headed home, but took the shuttle back the next day. I couldn't stay away. I was back at Macy's about an hour before closing time.

"Oh hey, you again."

"Yep. You know us elves and Christmas."

She laughed. "I don't know about you, but I'll be ready to wear normal clothes after the holidays are over."

"What do you do the rest of the year?"

"I'm a computer programmer. I do this to earn extra money for the holidays."

"Really? I'm in IT, too."

"Where do you work?"

I looked around, narrowing my eyes. "If I told you, I'd have to kill you."

"Very funny."

I let my eyes roam over her body, and then looked into her stunning dark brown eyes. She blushed a little, but kept eye contact.

To my amazement, she spoke first. "Would you like to grab a drink or something with me after my shift? It's just me at home and actually this time of year gets a little lonely...."

"I'd like that."

"My shift ends in about 30 minutes. Can I meet you somewhere?"

"Sure," I said, "but you'll have to pick the place. I'm kind of new to the city."

"Do you know Sam's Place on 53

rd

?"

"I can find it."

"Great. How about 8 o'clock?"

***

Her face was flushed from being outside in the cold when she got to the restaurant. Underneath her long caramel colored wool coat she wore jeans with a fuchsia angora sweater. It clung to her full tits and made them more pronounced. She was relaxed and moved with ease. As I walked behind her to our table, I wished my hands could take the place of the jeans that molded around her adorable, pert ass. I could see the bored hipster guy who seated us taking a good look before he walked away.

Once we were seated, she looked at me curiously.

"Still wearing your costume?"

"Didn't have time to run home and change."

"Even your ears?"

"I'm used to them."

Over dinner we talked shop a little. We talked about programming defects and workarounds.

"I like programming, and I like my job, but...."

"But what?" I asked.

"I've been feeling bored lately. Don't you ever have that feeling that you need to shake up your life? Like go to Iceland or something."

"I've been to Iceland. Beautiful country."

"That's not what I mean."

"I know. Sounds like you have a case of wanderlust."

"Yes, that's it! I need an adventure or something. Maybe join the Peace Corps."

"Really?"

Her mouth twitched. "No, not really. I love this time of year, but I always think about what's coming—that long stretch of January, February, March—where everything seems grey and...monotonous."

While she talked, I watched the words spill out of her generous pink lips. I'll admit I've bedded more than my share of females. Grace was the longest relationship I'd been in, and that was only six months. I was usually a love-'em-and-leave-'em kind of elf. But by the end of the meal I knew I was in trouble.

After dinner, we stood in the entry way of the restaurant looking out at the winter night. I couldn't exactly invite her back to my place, so I prayed silently.

"Listen," we both said at the same time, and then laughed. We'd broken the ice.

"Would you...um, like to come to my place?" she said.

I looked into her eyes, which were shining at me. "God yes."

***

The cab dropped us off at her apartment on the lower east side and I started to get nervous. There could be some awkward questions, and she might decide I was nuts. I hadn't thought that far ahead; I just knew I wanted her. My impulsive behavior has bitten me in the ass before (and my hopes of Maggie doing that might be pipedreams.)

Her apartment place felt warm and easy. There were framed posters and some original artwork on the walls. The furniture looked lived in and there were books and magazines scattered in several places. There's nothing sexier to me than someone who reads. (OK, maybe that's an exaggeration.) Next to a comfortable chair, there was a side table with a tea bag sitting next to an empty mug. I wanted to curl up there with her on my lap.

Maggie removed her coat and snowy boots at the front door and I did the same.

"You want a beer, or some wine?" Maggie asked.

"No, thanks. Water would be great. I'm not used to salty restaurant food." I'm actually unusual among elves because I don't drink much.

I watched her walk to the kitchen, her hips swaying, and I followed. She stood at the counter, reaching into the cabinet for glasses. I walked to her, wrapping my arms around her waist as she reached up. I sank my nose into her hair at the crook of her neck and inhaled her scent. Clean, fresh, vanilla, mint, and something else that I suspected was simply Maggie.

She lowered her arms and turned in my embrace. I thought we'd get right to it and was caught off guard when she cupped my face in her hand and just looked at me. Her brown eyes were gentle and open, and it took my breath away. She brought her face close to mine and with exquisite gentleness kissed me. Then she ran her tongue along my lips and I felt like someone had sucked all the air out of me.

I was in unknown territory. Then I had an epiphany. This wasn't like my other encounters. I didn't want to use my usual moves with her, at least not yet. The moment was too intense and tender at the same time.

I lifted her left hand to my mouth and kissed each finger, keeping eye contact with her. Then I took each finger in my mouth, sucking and running my teeth over the tips. She moaned. When I was done with that hand, I started to bring the other to my mouth, but she wouldn't have it. She put her hand behind my head and brought my mouth to hers forcefully. Oh, it was glorious, sublime, breathtaking. I had visions of happily ever after popping up in my head. Santa would bless our marriage (do you really think he'd discriminate?) and there would be little half-breeds running around everywhere.

I ran my tongue over her lips, then darted into her mouth when she opened for me again. I couldn't get enough of her. We kissed deeply, tasting and exploring each other, our tongues dancing for several long moments.

We backed off for a moment, staring into each others' eyes. Then the world stopped. She ran her fingers over my ear. I was dreading a conversation about my ears.

"Wow. These feel real. I don't see any seams. Don't you want to take them off?"

I could try to justify why I didn't tell her the truth, but the fact is I was being selfish. Elves have a strong sex drive and it had been a while for me. There was more to it though. I felt like my blood was molten lava where we touched. I'd been turned on before, but never like this.

I figured she'd throw me out if I told her the truth. She'd think I was crazy, and who could blame her?

"No, they're attached pretty securely." That's definitely true. "Do you really want to talk about my ears right now?"

She giggled. "No, I guess not."

Smiling back, I said, "I liked you playing with them."

She grinned, looking like a cat that just swallowed a canary.

"Oh really?" She brought her mouth to my ear. I could feel her hot breath and then just the tip of her tongue tracing the curves.

"Ohhhhhhh god." My knees felt weak. For most elves, ears are a major erogenous zone.

I didn't want to be reduced to jello, yet. I wrapped my arms around her bottom and hoisted her up onto the counter as she laughed.

"I have a bed, you know."

"Too far."

I cupped both her breasts in my hands. They were full and round without being overwhelming. I circled her nipples with my thumbs over the material of her sweater, feeling the nubs beginning to ripen as I rolled them.

Then I ran my hand under her sweater, caressing the soft skin of her abdomen. Her skin was warm and soft and I wanted to melt into her. She sighed as I explored her waist and stomach. I moved my hands up, taking her sweater with them, taking it off over her head. She was wearing the sweetest white lace bra. This was not a sight-seeing trip, however. I pulled the straps down over her arms, unhooked her bra, and freed her beautiful tits. Pale ivory with deep pink nipples that matched her lips. My mouth ached for them.

Holding her soft, full breasts firmly in my hands, I lowered my head and very lightly ran my tongue around her areole. Then I did it again. The third time, I sucked her nipple into my mouth. She gasped. I rolled one increasingly hard nipple in my mouth while gently pinching the other.

I couldn't stay in one place too long—her smooth body was too tempting. I went back to worshipping her body. I pulled her jeans and white lace panties down impatiently. I ran my hands up her thighs, my thumbs massaging her taut legs as I went. When I reached her lightly covered pussy, my thumbs kept moving in, spreading her lips apart. This time I moaned.

"You probably hear this from all the elves, but you're magnificent."

She chuckled. "I've never gotten naked with an elf before."

I lifted an eyebrow at her. "You'll never want regular sex again."

"Is that right?"

"Yep. We elves are addictive."

Assertive and self-assured, she said only two words. "Show me."

I growled as I caught a whiff of her excitement. Light and musky. I ran my hands along her legs, from her ankles to her upper thighs. They were smooth and firm under my hands. I traced my fingers over her slit. Her breathing became shallower.

I couldn't hold back any longer. I lowered my mouth to her soft, wet center. She started to mewl in anticipation. I ran a finger up her slit, spread her labia and ran my tongue over every part of her pussy I could reach. I wanted to devour her sweet wetness.

Her hands rested on my shoulders while I ran the tip of my tongue over and over her pleasure center. I wasn't feeling patient, but I wanted to savor this woman. I alternated between lighter and firmer touches.

I sucked her labia in my mouth, then went back to laving her clit with my tongue. Her whimpers became louder until she moaned my name and shuddered in release.

I licked her gently as she came down, and rose to kiss her mouth. I brought my hands to her face, tracing her cheekbones. "Undress me?"

Maggie didn't reply. She just slid off the counter and took my hand. I watched her succulent ass in front of me as she led me to her bedroom. She looked like a pin up girl from the back, her waist narrow, and her hips wider. She swayed when she walked; she may have been exaggerating it for my benefit.

Her bedroom felt warm and welcoming. The comforter on the dark wood bed frame was burgundy, gold, and navy. I didn't have a lot of time to notice though. She let go of my hand, turned around and started to remove my belt. She let it fall to the floor. Then she reached for the hem of my tunic and lifted it over my head. I was wearing a black sports bra over my barely b cup breasts; she got rid of it quickly. I could see hunger in her eyes, and it sent a thrill through my body. She reached for my tights and peeled them down my legs, pulling my boy shorts down with them.

I smiled. "Impatient?"

She didn't say a word as she grabbed my hand and led me to the beautiful wood four poster bed. She lay me down and then joined me on the bed. But she didn't go right for the naughty bits. She started with my feet, rubbing my toes and the space in-between. She never lost contact with my body as she gently moved her hands in circles over my skin. Her touch wasn't deep enough to be massage, but wakened my muscles as well as my skin. It was incredibly erotic. I tingled everywhere she touched.

She moved up my body a little bit at a time, bypassing my pussy and my breasts in turn, which were crying out for attention. When she got to my ears, she tried to tug on them without being obvious about it.

She worked her way back down my body weaving patterns with her tongue and fingers as she went. When she reached my pussy, she ran her tongue along my lips so lightly it was as if she'd used a feather. I groaned and moved one leg so she had better access. She pushed my shoulders back, then returned to my heat. This time she pulled my labia open and took a broad lick all the way from my bottom to my clit. She stayed at my clit, flicking back and forth across it.

"Ohhh. Ohhh, Maggie."

I was in heaven. Because I'm androgynous, women usually assume that I'm dominant. And I'll admit, I usually wear the harness. Grace was young and inexperienced, very passive sexually. I loved Maggie's aggression. I felt like she'd taken me—and it was hot.

She brought one finger up to my pussy and ran it up and down my labia, while her tongue continued to lick and swipe my clit. She very gently took another finger and entered my hot tunnel. Then a second one. She stopped about halfway inside, and rotated her fingers. I started panting.