(Author's note: This is intended for lesbians who have difficulties arising from severe church indoctrination that has affected their ability to accept their lesbianism. In Iowa, their Supreme Court opened up same sex equality. Fundamentalists launched a campaign to remove those justices who voted in favor of this, and succeeded. At the present time, an avowed lesbian pastor in the Methodist Church is to be tried for marrying same sex couples though it has been quietly permitted previously. Some lesbians have a tremendous burned within them due to the preaching of God's retrubution for disobeying his laws, and a penatly of everlasting hell to follow. This is for you if it applies, and you need help in understanding what the truth of it all is, and you wish to be free of this burden.
If you, as a lesbian, do not have this problem in you, please do not deny this information to your sisters who do have this problem.
All others, if this is in any way offensive to you, please read another story.)
Chapter 1
'The Kitten's Korner' is the club where many of my friends gather, usually on Friday nights. There are about eight to ten of us on most evenings; we set ourselves up on two or three tables, and have a ball just gabbing about this and that, yet our eyes are always looking for someone else who interests us, or is interested in us. Normally it's a newbie, a young woman who instantly stirs our sexuality to heights we want to explore. Then again maybe one not so young, but sensuous to our eyes; one that was more than a joy to behold. Each of us has our likes and dislikes in sex, and among our likes, we sometimes prefer one way of loving and being loved over another. All of humanity is that way, isn't it?
But, as far as I've been able to determine, some of us like one other thing, and that's cuddling. At least I wanted that. There's something about the closeness we sense when we cuddle with someone that we're so comfortably loving with, something almost transcendental, spiritual. It's not that high on everyone's list, but many of us love it and seek it somewhere along the line. Another thing we like—make that love—is having sex. We love to love, followed by loving some more, then again and again. At least that's how it is in our group. As far as I know, most everyone in our group is as I've said. I can pretty well say that I know because I've made love with several of them.
For myself, I've been solo for over a year. Somewhere along the line I decided I wanted permanency, having someone to cuddle with and know it's from your love of her, and that she loves me and cuddling with me, too. The knowing we're forever is what I've been craving with a ferocity that has me hoping and looking. My mind and heart won't settle for anything less, though sometimes I wonder if my pussy will scream too much too often at me, and I'll feel that I have to give in to shut it up for a while. Then again, my pussy seems to be in agreement with my heart and mind, and has settled for my fingers so far.
At first, the joy of the sex I had with some of my friends was fantastic, hard to not love the sensations my body had, how mind-blowing it all was. There's something wonderful about friends and sex as we had, a marvelous closeness that we have and sense, more with some than with others. One or two have been utterly fantastic, especially Sally, but she wanted the same thing I wanted, and like me, was always looking and hoping.
I guess I could say that having sex with close friends has a transcendental aspect to it too, but even at that, I feel myself getting antsy. I've been an active lesbian since I was seventeen, though god only knows I wanted to have sex with another woman for ages and ages. That could only be because I was born that way, but the world doesn't seem to share my opinion; some—or maybe many—lesbians are still overly burdened by what is said of our way of loving and living.
Of late though, I've been feeling a loneliness. That's the only way I can put it because that's exactly how I feel at times. These gatherings offset that for a while, but if I was to be honest about it, I think I'm coming here regularly in the hopes of finding love—real love. Us together always love! That's what I want now. Eight years of doing what is often called sowing wild oats is a long enough time as far as I'm concerned.
I'll always want my friends as friends, and I hope that whoever I find will love my friends too, and vice-versa, of course. It's a beautiful thing to share with others, and I'm not talking about love, and, or, sex in this case.
I'm twenty-five now, so that means I hit a proverbial wall at twenty-four, or a little sooner. Speaking of looking and friends, Sally's days of hoping are over. Ariel, a new girl to the club, gripped Sally's pussy like you wouldn't believe. The two are together now, and, incidentally, my two best friends. No, we no longer get it on with each other—they're exclusive with each other. Ariel has only been in our group less than a year. They hit it off after they made love once. It hit them both, and that was it. When they told us about it, I nearly cried, but because of a feeling of joy for them; that had to be from what I wanted for myself, and I was, and am, glad that my friends have it for themselves. And, boy, do they ever cuddle. They're kind of sickening with their mush and gush, but I say that knowing I'm just envious as can be.
Will this night be any different than the rest for me? I have no idea, but I know that I'll keep looking till forever, but I hope it doesn't take near that long. With that, I walked into The Kitten's Korner. I don't know which of the two partners thought up that name, but I smiled every time I saw it, and shook my head a bit. Okay, it isn't that bad a name, but I think they could have come up with something better. And no, I didn't have a suggestion, and if I did, I'd keep it to myself. Jade, one of the owner's, might not like it, and that's good enough for me. I liked Jade on my good side; Evelyn too, but she's not as imposing as Jade.
Entering, I saw Sally waving me over right away, a huge smile on her face as usual.
"Hey, babe, bout time," she said, getting up to exchange a hug and kiss with me, as did Ariel. Ariel was kind of unusual. I mean that in the way of a personality that just draws everyone to her, she's so friendly, but a bit sedate as opposed to Sally's ebullience.
Swapping hugs and kisses with everyone else could take all night, but it was one of those long, drawn out pleasures that we loved.
"Wacha been up to?" Sally asked.
"Not much, the usual. How're you two?" and on it went for a while, as always.
We all danced, drank a few drinks, and did a lot of kidding, laughing, and mild gossiping. All the while I did what I had been doing for what seemed ages now, and that was looking over the crowd, and eyeing everyone that came in after me. Ariel caught me once.
"Don't see anyone yet?" she guessed right.
"Nope. Since Sally found and claimed you, the pond has been dry," I said with a good-natured smile.
"You're a fabulous liar," she said in her quiet voice, a mild coloring coming to her cheeks.
"Maybe that's true, but you're one of the finest fish to come out of the pond, right Sally."
"Right, and quit makin time with my girl, hear?" she hammed it up with a huge grin.
The way Sally talked, you'd never have guessed she was a college professor, of English, no less. Actually, she kept from that style of talking when she was away from those hallowed halls.
"Someone will come in one of these days," Ariel picked up where she left off. "Don't you ever give up, Penny."
As I said, she was something else, and in a good way—in the best way ever. Sally was one lucky girl to have found Ariel.
"So, what's comin up for ya?" Sally asked, determined to use all the bad grammar possible. She'd always been a smart girl, having marvelous, envious grades in whatever classes she took.
"Going to a company class to get smart starting this weekend, then going to see the folks for a while—if my father will talk to me. Sometimes he still won't."
"Hell of a thing, huh, babe? Why the fuck do things have to be that way?"
That got a general conversation going about how it is with a lot of our parents and friends, not to mention all of those that don't even know us, but don't care for the way we live and love, and ruining their idea of their society, or so they say. Just something we had to put up with, at least that about seemed all we could do.
A few organizations were working to change things, and it helped a bit that the former vice-presidents daughter was a lesbian. At least it brought it out that we do happen in the best of families, and thinking that, I heard my mind snort loudly in my head. And wouldn't you know it, someone said that, and did snort loudly.
