A/N -
I continue slowly from this recent medical journey I've been on, and I would like to share with you chapter 3 of this fun little fictional jaunt. Who knew a dreamy little tale like this would be so much fun, thinking back to what life could be like starting all over again.
Caitlin leaned forward and said "You have captured my heart. I will wait for the day when soon we'll be together and you place it on my left hand."
She kissed my cheek and walked out of the coffee shop.
I turned to Marcie and the tears just flowed. She wrapped her arms around me holding me tight and whispered that everything would be okay.
***End of Chapter 2***
The only reason I made it through the last two weeks of the semester and was able to survive finals was because of the support for my family, but also from Marcie.
Once the semester ended I asked Marcie for a few days off. I explained that I needed some time but would be in touch with her after Christmas. She hugged me and assured me that she would welcome me with open arms and a kiss when I was ready to come back.
With that reassurance I went home and crawled into my bed and just ignored the outside world. It was just me and my streaming music service. I wanted to rewind the last weeks and months finding an escape for this current reality.
Loneliness and heartbreak.
***
It was the 21st of December, three days later when they started checking on me. I heard a knock on my bedroom door, which I ignored.
"Baby?" I heard my mom. I rolled over ignoring her.
Then there was the softer
knock knock knock
"Franny baby?"
Again I ignored the noise and the voice from outside my bedroom, this time from Momma.
I just rolled over ignoring them both tossing and turning for a few minutes. Lying on my back just staring at the ceiling. I just couldn't cry anymore. I was both physically and emotionally drained. My eyes hurt, my chest, stomach and back muscles were sore.
Life just sucked and I felt lost all over again. I understood but mad, jealous, hurt and crushed. My heart was broken but most of all I missed Caitlin.
I heard my phone
ping
with a new text message. I reached for it and turned the volume up, drowning out any and all noise with music from my playlist.
I must've dozed off because the noise coming from that side of the door was simply rude and absolutely unnecessary. Then the sound of multiple fists pounding on my door. The duo of pounding fists did nothing but irritate me even further.
I screamed but it did no good, the noise continued for a few more seconds. Then it suddenly stopped. Then there was a calm but very firm sounding voice.
"Hey" there was a quiver and hesitation in her voice. I started crying again as soon as I heard her voice.
"I sent you a text from the airport!"
Before she could get out a full sentence I ran to the door unlocking it, tears streaming from my eyes. Michaela was standing there with her arms open. She had the saddest look on her face that I had ever seen.
I just hugged her and continued balling my eyes out. She wrapped her arms around me and walked me to my bed, sitting me down just holding me.
Almost everything in my world was suddenly better, it was far from perfect but it was better. Michaela was home.
After 10 minutes, Michaela pulled away from me and stood. She walked over to my dresser, opened the drawer grabbing panties and a bra, then walked to my closet and pulled out a red sweater and my favorite jeans. She tossed them on my bed and just looked at me.
"You smell dearest older sister and need a shower. You have thirty minutes to be ready. Now move."
"What? No, Mich..."
"No dearest older sister" she paused, "thirty minutes." She turned and walked out of my room.
At her request, well it was a demand, thirty minutes later I walked out of my room and met my family. Mom, Momma, Francis and Michaela were standing there waiting for me. I was handed my coat and followed them out the front door.
The five of us sat at dinner, like we hadn't in a long, long time. We told stories and shared memories. They laughed. I tried but my mind was elsewhere. I was still sad and my heart still hurt. At one point Michaela looked at me. She winked, smiling wide. She leaned over and whispered in my ear.
"You need a spa day and that is just what tomorrow is going to be."
I shook my head 'no'. She just smiled and continued the conversation she was involved in. After dinner, we strolled through PPG Place and Market Square taking in the sights and sounds of the holiday season. Hanukah had started and Christmas was coming soon. I smiled, or at least tried to when Mom and Momma asked for a family photo at the tree in the square.
It was nearing midnight when we arrived home. Michaela admitted she was tired from traveling. We wished each other good night and made our way to our rooms. I changed into a top and sleep pants. As I went to crawl into my bed, I just couldn't.
My sheets smelled and I just didn't want to be alone. I walked out of my room and across the hall. I opened her door and closed it behind me.
"What's up Fran?"
I just crawled into her bed under her sheets. I curled up next to her wrapping my arms around my sister.
"We aren't six you know." She whispered.
"I don't care, I miss you." I replied.
I laid my head down on her pillow falling asleep.
***
I felt her stir rolling over. I could feel her breath on my face. Opening my eyes I saw the most beautiful woman in my life. She was the perfect woman in my opinion. Her beauty, kindness, and love would be all anyone ever wanted. How could someone not love her? Yes I might have a biased opinion as she is my sister; she is unfortunately forbidden.
Slowly and carefully, trying not to disturb her, I eased myself out of bed and out of her room. I made my way to the kitchen and started a pot of coffee. I opened the cabinets and started pulling the ingredients for breakfast.
I wanted to try and make Wolfie's scones. I thought I would try his recipe but knew they wouldn't be anywhere close to his but I wanted to try for my family.
"Something is on your mind isn't there?"
I turned to see Momma standing in the doorway.
"The coffee stopped brewing a few minutes ago and you are staring at an empty mixing bowl holding an egg."
She moved forward and wrapped her arms around me in a hug. I leaned my head back against her exhale and denied everything. She released me from her hug and I went back to making the scones. Momma poured two cups of coffee and brought them to the center island.
She sat on a stool at the island and just watched me not saying a word. Once the scones were in the oven and the dishes in the sink, I sat across from her sipping my coffee.
"You know" She started, "It's okay to be hurt and it's okay to feel sad or be heartbroken and it's okay to retreat. What isn't okay is to continue suffering."
I looked at her and cracked a partial smile.
"I could say the same about you when Mom was gone all those months, when we were young but you had a family to care for was the answer I always heard from you."
She pointed her finger at me. Her smile turned into a snarl. "That was different and you know it, young lady! We had been together for years. We were always together."
I knew my logic was skewed and wouldn't hold up against her but I at least tried.
"Momma I will never be allowed to love the woman I really truly love. Society won't allow it, and even if it did ..." I paused, swallowing hard, "She doesn't feel it like I do but I realize it even more now."
I set my cup down and walked out of the kitchen still broken hearted, still confused, still not certain what I wanted in life.
I stepped from the shower and dressed without doing anything to my hair. I checked my phone but still nothing, no missed calls, no texts, just silence from Caitlin. I sent her a message
"Hey, I know you are busy just wanted you to know you are on my mind"
I walked to the linen closet and grabbed new sheets for my bed, changing out the dirt ones.
On my way to the kitchen, I dropped the dirty sheets in the laundry room and walked back joining my family. I saw them all at the table enjoying the scones. A second pot of coffee had been brewed. I fixed a cup then sat with them listening to the banter and back and forth chatter. Finishing her coffee Michaela told me it was time to go as we needed to be on time for our appointment at the spa.
I acknowledged her with a defiant attitude. Mom and Momma just smiled at me.
***
We checked in at the spa and were escorted back to the changing rooms where we were given soft beige fluffy robes and open toed slippers to change into. We moved to the salon area. We found a container of lemon and lime sparkling water, each filling a glass part way, then had a seat in a chair.
Michaela was sitting to my left when two ladies walked in. Both in similar beige smocks which fit their bodies well. One with raven dark hair just below her shoulders came and put her hands on Michaela's shoulders starting a hushed conversation.
The other walked over standing behind me. I was struck by the beauty in this woman's eyes and the natural glow that seemed to be all around her. I was startled when a soft voice caught my attention.
"Hello, I am McKenna, I am to make your day special."
Her hands carefully unfolded the drape and placed it around my neck. Once secured, she placed her hands on my shoulders sending a shiver down my spine.
"We will make our way to the spa shortly but I wondered how you wanted your hair. How can I help you?"
There it was again, another shiver straight down my spine. Goosebumps popped all over my body. I stumbled over my words, my brain confused.
"Ah ... Um just a trim, I don't want it short. Please keep it below the bottom on my shoulder blades."
Oh goodness what was wrong with me, my nipples were hardening!
