I knew there were a few options on how the long weekend might turn out. I had invited my long time friend over to stay with me, just hanging out at my time share, enjoying a few days on the beach with no responsibility, no schedule, just me and her for 4 days. She had immediately said yes, and it wasn't until today that I started feeling nervous. Her plane was scheduled to arrive in about two hours and I still hadn't decided how I was going to broach the topic I wanted to discuss with her.
Worst case scenario, she would leave and never speak to me again. Best case, she would be all about it. Reality- I'm sure shock, perhaps even a little uncomfortable silence would come about and maybe we'd still be friends after it was all said and done. My 30th birthday had just passed and I had decided then that I would be honest with myself and my friends and be who I wanted to be. I would be who I knew I needed to be.
By the time I picked her up, my stomach had stopped its flip flopping and I was feeling ok. I had also pushed the whole thing to the very back of my mind. She was in a great mood and couldn't stop talking about how much it meant to her for me to ask her to come out and how excited she was to be here.
It was dinner time when we got back to the beach house, so I offered to cook while she showered off the travel dust and got changed into appropriate vacation wear. She was still in her work clothes and although she looked excellent in the well tailored black slacks and green silk blouse that paled in comparison to her fiery eyes, they were not fit for the sand and surf.
I cracked open a bottle of wine with dinner and we both drank heartily. As we finished eating, she noticed the amazing sunset over the water and asked to take a walk on the beach before it got too dark. I happily obliged, secretly relieved when she refilled her wine goblet to the rim before stepping out onto the deck. I topped off my glass as well, almost finishing off the second bottle. We had sat and caught up for quite some time- I hadn't realized it had been so long. I took a moment and centered myself. Deep breaths- that's what I needed.
She was at the water's edge by the time I followed her out. She had taken off her shoes, finished her wine and stripped down to her bikini by the time I got to her. Time had actually improved her body, her breast were still as perky as they were in college, and her overall form leaner than our junk food school days. Laughing like I hadn't heard her do since our first summer away after high school graduation, she ran, splashing into the water. I had on a halter top and shorts, but I followed her in with wild abandon. The water was painted with the purples, oranges and dark pinks of the sunset and we were surrounded with color. The waves were gentle and the water warm and shallow. I looked up and down the private beach and realized we were the only people I could see.
"What do you think?" I asked as we floated side by side, watching as the sky faded to a dark blue and the stars began to come out.
"Heaven," she replied. "This place is wonderful, and I can't think of anyone I'd rather be here with." Her hand brushed mine and I felt a current pass between us.
"I'm glad you came. It wouldn't be much fun if I were here all alone." I responded, unsure if this was my opportunity or not. "We should probably get back to the beach before it gets too dark. We're out farther than I thought." I said, standing in water almost up to my chin. The lights on the beach house were tiny and twinkling. She stood as well and took my hand as she started walking towards land.
In my semi-drunken state, I stumbled out of the water and just as I was almost free of the surf, a strong wave came up and knocked me down. As I rolled over, laughing, she fell almost on top of me. Face to face, both giggling like school girls, our feet in the water still, I leaned up and kissed her. Her eyes widened, obviously startled and she jumped up. I just knew I'd ruined it. I should have said something. I should have warned her.
She hadn't moved from the spot where she stood, so I stood up too. I couldn't bring myself to meet her eyes- I didn't want to see her disapproving look. I especially didn't want to see pity.