Okay, this is probably the craziest, wildest thing I've ever done. Not just sexually, but anything. Wilder than Jimmy and I on the hood of his car. Which is all you'll ever read of that "too young" encounter.
So, I went to Thailand two weeks before the meeting and went down to Phuket for some rest, beach and diving. Very nice beaches, great diving and very relaxing. As long as you want to relax, there were some pretty crazy people there, mostly Brits.
But it was later that things went crazy for me. Weird crazy. Bizarre crazy. Shouldn't have had that tenth glass of wine. Nor the ninth, eighth, you get the picture.
So the meetings were hell for the first week (what a bunch of dickheads!) but once we stomped on them things went very well and six weeks turned into four (two weeks of meetings, two weeks of vacation). But about half of us couldn't get out until Monday. Which was my eventual undoing.
We (Austin & Chicago) went out to a very nice restaurant Friday night. The guys who had flights left early Saturday afternoon and the rest of us were left to our own devices. Or, as I soon learned, our own vices. Or at least their's.
So I had a quiet day. Lunch by the pool and a light dinner in the hotel restaurant. I went back up to my room to finish the Deathly Hallows (again) before the movie comes out. No spoilers for those of you who read a book by watching the movie.
About 8:00 I get a call from one of the guys. "Hey, some of us are heading out to some clubs. Join us?"
I was ambivalent and decided to hedge my bets. "Who's us?" He rattled off some names and Liz, my boss (remember her?) and another woman, from Chicago, whom I only vaguely knew were going, so I was kind of okay with that. Big mistake. BIG mistake.
We met in the lobby and grabbed some taxis. The drivers dropped us at a pretty nice bar. Well, except for the band, which was trying to do American and British covers, but couldn't even tune their guitars. So we lasted about thirty minutes there.
From there we walked down the block and saw, or rather heard, a karaoke club. It was only about half full and there was a rotund Chinese women doing a pretty good rendition of, ready?, Van Halen's "Jump".
A couple of the guys and the Chicago chick tried it. She teamed up with one of co-workers and boy did they do a good job. I think this wasn't the first time for them. To do karaoke. Everybody started hounding me and somebody stuck one of the song books in my hands. I said, very loudly, "oh, what the fuck," belted down my? glass of wine and wound up there belting out "R E S P E C T". Rather fairly, but I know my singing career is going to be limited to karaoke bars in Bangkok.
After another round of drinks (remember above?) one of the guys whispered to our waitress and she smiled and said something to him and waved her hand around.
He said to us "Let's hit one more place and head back." Two of the guys said they kind of had to head back and then another guy bailed on us as well. This left the three girls and five guys.
We left the bar, headed back the way we came, but went down two more blocks and crossed the street, heading down the new street. Boy, those bars were LOUD.
Our "leader" turned and said "here we are."
It was a strip club. Now as you probably know, I've been in them before, and I knew if I went in it was only to watch. Liz smiled and I knew she'd be watching, probably quite intensely. "Chicago" blushed, but nodded. The guys were all smiling like crazy. I was afraid they might hurt some muscles in their faces.
The place was noisy and pretty raucous. Lots of Yanks, Brits, Aussies. And, surprisingly, quite a few women. Most with men, but a few who I thought might be pros.
We grabbed a booth not too far from one of the stages. We all ordered drinks (remember above?) and settled in. We watched a couple of shows, some of them what almost anyone would call obscene. Like smoking three cigarettes at once. But only one in her mouth. We watched a few more shows and I had another glass of wine (r a?). One of the guys got up and send he had to return some beer and a couple of minutes later another guy left. While they were gone, Liz flagged down the waitress and whispered something in her ear (all this whispering = trouble). She came back a couple of minutes later with another round (r a?). Then this little, teeny tiny girl walks up to the table and Liz kind of nods at me.
Teeny tiny girl looks at me. "Friend buy you special dance. Come with me." I looked at Liz and she was really smiling hard. Just about laughing. The other four were just staring, looking at her, at me, at the girl. The girl grabbed my arm and pulled me to my feet. "Special dance this way."
We walked into another room separated from the main bar by a curtain. Now I kind of know how lap dances work. Fancy chair, a little wall for a little privacy and a bouncer that will send the guy to the moon if it goes one inch too far. Not here. Lots of little booths, each with a curtain. And the guy who might have been a bouncer just looked at the girl and wrote something in a little book then looked out the curtain on to the stage.
She led me into one of the rooms, pulled the curtain shut and kind of pushed me into a marginally comfortable chair that didn't have any arms. Without any preliminaries she pulled off her top and then her thong. Small breasts, maybe an A cup if her nipples were up. Which were huge. I haven't seen many in person, but these were probably the biggest. Small aureoles, but nipples that looked like they were 3 inches long!
There was some sort of booming song playing in the bar and she started making some sort of swaying motion, hands up in the air. Then she came up and straddled my lap.
"What you want? Lady say anything. She tip me good. I like girl. Lady say anything."
I think the room lit up as I blushed fire engine red.
She started grinding her pelvis into my thighs, arms still up in the air.
"That's okay," I said. "We can pretend we did this."
"No," she replied. "Me got to stay or boss get mad, say me rip you off."
I resigned myself to some sort of grinding. Then she suddenly dropped her hands, grabbed my breasts and pulled herself against me. Then she started go go up and down, rubbing her body against mine.
"You want fuck me? Maybe eat your pussy? Plenty of room for sitty nine."
Before I could do anything, she reached behind me and unsnapped my bra. Well, that surprised and distracted me. Enough distraction for her to unbutton most of my blouse. Enough for her to lift my bra up over my breasts. So, there I was, in a room in Bangkok, with a stripper who seemed intent on doing something sexual with me. And me rather drunk (shouldn't have had the tenth drink. Nor the ninth ...) and, surprisingly, just a little horny.???? Where did that come from? And where was this going?
I was stunned when she leaned over and licked my left nipple. I reached out and put my hands on her shoulders to push her back.
Looking up at me, she smiled and said "this okay. Lady tip me good and like girls lots. You pretty girl, too." Then she sat back and unbuttoned the rest of my blouse. Okay, I'm drunk, I'm slow, I'm confused, I'm surprised. She pulls the blouse down my arms and off, then pulls the bra off. Now I've been topless with other women plenty of times. I've been naked around other women. But we've never really been looking at each other, like the two of us were doing. And I sure haven't had another woman licking my nipples and squeezing my breasts in a long, long time.
This went on for another minute or so and then I felt her hand fiddling with my belt and the button on my slacks. I started to say no and she bit my nipple. Well, more of a nip. I yelped a little and she had my zipper half way down before I could come down. Oh, did I say anything about my nipples? Yeah, I love to have them sucked and nibbled on. So I was a little off in some other place while she worked on my slacks.
She stood up and suddenly yanked my slacks down to my knees. So there I was, alone with a stripper, topless and my slacks around my knees. Then she really blew my mind. She grabbed my left hand and put it on her right breast and then took my right hand and put it between her legs.
"You not like girls?" she asked. I shook my head. "Me help you like girls. Easy." I shook my head a little.
She took one of her hands and stuck it between my legs, rubbing my lips through my panties. She took her other hand and grabbed my wrist, moving my hand up and down across her bare lips.
"Do you, you do me. Okay?" Then she pulled my panties down to my slacks and started stroking my bare pussy.
"Mmm," she moaned. "You enjoy, getting wet. Feel me, wet too." I had to admit, yes she was and yes I was. I realized that I was crossing a boundary.
She pushed on my hand a little more and a finger went into her. Then I felt her to the same and I moaned, loudly, I think. She started to stoke my clitoris with her thumb and I didn't need any help to do the same. Now I was over.
