"Just tell me." He pleaded and grabbed my hand. "Who is it?" I took my hand from his and looked down.
"It's a girl." I stated.
"A chick? You're fucking a chick? Teressa?" He looked exasperated.
"Yes, we'll talk about it tomorrow, now out." I pushed him towards the door and he reluctantly took a few steps.
He walked to the door, hand on the handle. "I love you Livvie, no matter how badly you or I fuck up, I will always love you." He said, opening the door and leaving. Knowing I was banging a girl and not a guy, clearly made him feel a bit better.
I felt a small fissure in my heart grow a little bigger. It had started when Justin cheated. I did love him, but after all that had transpired, I could never see us getting back together.
I locked the front door and walked to my bedroom, collapsing onto my bed and falling right asleep.
When I woke the next morning, sunlight streamed in through the cracks in the blinds. It shined over my smooth legs, making them look soft and touchable. I felt well-rested thankfully. Finals were right around the corner, and I needed to study.
As I showered and got ready for the day, the previous day's events shuttered through my mind. I scrubbed my face and sighed heavily. So much had happened and I didn't even know how to process it all. Justin showed up twice, once while I was masturbating and Teressa. I was masturbating to the thought of Teressa's mouth on my pussy. My pussy started to throb in response to thinking about her.
I also told Justin I would talk to him today, which means if I didn't call him, he'd just show up again. I half considered moving to another apartment. But with finals and my work hours cut short, I just didn't have the funds. This train of thinking made my head hurt.
I thought of Teressa again and my pussy grew wet. I grabbed the showerhead and leaned against the shower wall. I spread my legs and prayed the water directly at my pussy, the hard water battering my clit around. I imagined Teressa pushing me down and taking my butt plug out with her mouth. Then her mouth smothering my pussy with its warmth and expertise. Her tongue jetted in and out of my pussy. My legs started to shake, and I moaned out loud. I threw my head back as I started to climax and screamed out when it reached its pinnacle.
I placed the showerhead back and ran my hands over my face again. I wish I could have stayed in the shower forever. I had an immense amount of studying and homework to complete in the next couple of weeks. But I knew if I worked hard enough, I could get it done and have some free time. I wanted to see Teressa again.
Our conversation from the previous night made me feel better about the whole thing. But she had teased the hell out of me and left me throbbing for her. The shower had helped dissipate some of the need for her, but I couldn't help but desperately want her still.
I walked to my bedroom and got dressed and ready. I didn't have work, so I decided first I'd call Justin and then study and get some homework done. Most of my classes were online for the semester. So, I spent a lot of time on my bed with my laptop. Justin used to sit with me sometimes and help me type when my hands and eyes got tired. That small fissure in my heart felt huge sometimes. It was the little things about Justin that made me miss him sometimes. But I could never allow myself to feel sympathy for him, for what he did to me.
I picked up my phone and dialed his number. He answered on the first ring.
"I'm outside, can I come in?" He asked in a rush.
I threw my hands up into the air, exasperated. Of course, he was outside.
"Justin seriously? How long have you been here?" I asked irritated.
I heard a knock at the door, and I decided not to fight him and just let him in. I walked to the front door and opened it to a huge bouquet of beautiful flowers. He knew me well, an assortment of different colored roses. I was a basic rose kind of girl.
He lowered the bouquet and there was his smiling and handsome face. I started to question my decision; it was a terrible idea to talk.
"Come in Justin and put those on the counter, thank you." I tried to keep my tone neutral. I didn't want to sound callous, but it proved to be difficult. "Okay, let's do this."
"Can you try not to make it seem like I'm some sort of monster?" He turned from placing the flowers in a vase with his hands up.
"After what you did to me Justin, you are a monster in a way. Did you forget about what you did, or do you think you can just sweep it under the rug?" I paced and chewed on my cuticles.
"Please just sit down with me and let me explain myself." He begged.
I shot him a look of contempt and plopped down in an armchair across from the couch. I pointed at the couch for him to sit. He walked over and sat across from me.
"Explain away Justin." I waved my hands dramatically.
"Look babe, I fucked up, okay? I let this girl get in my head and she was just all over me. Me and the boys went to this frat party, and she literally was all over my dick babe. I was so fucked up and we took this shit, and I don't know. I can't believe I did this shit I can't lose you baby. You're my everything, my world." He ran his hands through his thick hair and sighed.
"Justin." I sighed too and shook my head. "Did you forget calling me in the middle of the day to tell me you found true love and you were moving out?" I looked at him expectantly and he rolled his eyes.
"No babe, I was still fucked up trust me, that shit we took fucked me up for days. That's why I didn't come home for a few days, I was staying with Tristan, you can call him and ask right now. She wasn't there. Not the whole time anyways."
"Oh my God, you can't even keep your story straight. You know damn well you sobered up and kept her around because you liked her. I've seen you around girls so many times and I know how you act. I'm done with this conversation." I stood up and he stood up and crossed the room, grabbing my hands.
"No baby please, just give me another chance please?" He tried to hug me and I squirmed out of his grip and walked to the kitchen.
"Please leave Justin, I will never give you another chance. I'm sorry. I will always have love for you, we were together for so long. But you threw it all away for some party slut. While I'm sitting at home busting my ass trying to graduate so we can get a house and have a future one day. You just threw it away."
I felt that fissure grow bigger again, and I put my hand to my chest. I turned away and hid the tears sliding down my cheeks. I had been working so hard for so long for us. I thought he was too, but this was what he wanted instead. Maybe he didn't necessarily want to fuck it all up, but he did and that's all that mattered.
"Don't cry Livvie baby, let me hold you please. I'll wipe your tears and we can take a nap and talk about this more when we wake up. Please." He pleaded so well I almost gave in. I wanted to give in, I wanted him to hold me and tell me it would all be okay. Tell me all the hard work I put into this relationship would pay off and we'd have kids one day and a big house. But I couldn't give in to that desire, I just couldn't allow myself.
"Leave Justin. Don't call again. And do not show up here again." I kept my tone hard and clipped.
He surprised me when he listened, and I heard the door open. I turned to watch him leave when he turned around too. He was crying and his voice was thick.
"Livvie, I will always be here, and I meant what I said last night. I love you so much. Please just take some time and think about stuff, okay? I'm not going anywhere." He walked out and shut the door gently behind him.
I looked at the flowers he bought me and I broke down and started sobbing, sliding down the counter and onto the floor. We'd been together since high school, he even bought me a promise ring our senior year. And before we started college together, we vowed to get married a couple of years after graduation. That way we could get our degrees, work, and save money for a house. We had everything planned out together.
Sophomore year is when I started to see a change in him. He made new frat friends and he started partying more. I noticed him checking out other girls when we'd eat out or walk to lunch between classes. I think that's when the fissure started to really form when I knew he was changing, and I wouldn't be in his future and he wouldn't be in mine.
But I loved him so damn much, and it hurt so damn bad. I wailed like I had experienced death because I had. The death of Justin and me. The death of a beautiful relationship that had lasted so long.
Suddenly there were arms around me, pulling me into them. I knew the familiar smell, it was Justin and I let him hold me. I let him scoop me up and carry me into my room, where he set me on my bed and held me there. He wrapped around me, his smell, his touch. I couldn't stop crying, I sobbed into him and he shushed and rocked me. I let him. I needed him at that moment, and I knew I'd regret it later and we'd have to discuss it, but I couldn't help myself.
