I was in my junior year at the University when I happened to stumble upon my former high school English teacher's name as the Professor of an advanced class.
At first I wasn't sure it was her, but realized her name was rather unique and it had to be her. I quickly signed up for the course in fear that it might be filled to capacity before I registered.
Diane Pierre was much more than just my former teacher. She was in fact, the only woman I had ever been sexually involved with. I was getting ready to graduate when she kind of seduced me. Not that I wasn't a willing participant as I dreamed of being with her for almost two years before it actually happened.
Right after our brief interlude, she dropped me like a hot potato. I didn't want to pursue it as I imagined she was embarrassed at what had happened and wished we didn't get sexually involved.
Problem was, I couldn't get her off my mind. As much as I tried, it just wasn't possible. I dated a few guys my freshman year, but it just didn't feel right being with them sexually. They weren't soft and gentle. They were hard and fast, just wanting to get into my panties. I didn't enjoy their physical bodies as much as I enjoyed devouring hers.
It always seemed like something was missing with the boyfriends. Something I had only with her that I couldn't capture no matter how many different dates I went on. I was convinced that it was just Miss Pierre that I had that special connection with.
Her class was held in an amphitheater so I entered through the upper balcony doors and found a seat in the back trying hard for her not to see me. There she was in all her glory at the podium telling everyone to find a seat and settle down.
My heart started racing and my hands began to sweat as I listened to her voice and looked her over from head to toe.
I loved that she was a teacher and now a professor. I was proud of her. I enjoyed watching her teach as she put her heart into it whenever she spoke about Emily Dickinson or William Shakespeare.
I managed to get through the class without her looking up into the balcony as I hid behind my notebook, slumped down in the seat. Trying to figure out how I was going to approach her, or if I wanted to just stay at a distance, admiring her from afar. I was confused as part of me wanted her and part of me was saying the hell with her. What was I going to do? My mind was having a private battle with itself.
After the class was over, I watched as she gathered up her books and put them in her briefcase. I waited till she slipped her jacket on and exited into the hallway. Following quite a distance away from her I wanted to see where she parked her car. As she hit the door clicker and the lights on her car blinked, I picked up my pace and scooted in front of her holding the drivers door shut behind me.
"Oh my God, Barbara!", she exclaimed. " You startled me".
"I didn't mean to. I was in your lecture tonight and wanted to say hello,' I said.
"Well, Hello to you!", she said casually. "I saw your name on the student roster, but didn't think you attended."
"I was there, up in the balcony. Can we talk?", I asked.
"Sure. Get in, we will go for coffee. That is, if you want to".
Without answering, I got in on the passenger side and threw my books on the floor between my feet. She put her briefcase in the back seat and got in. My heart felt like it was going to jump out of my chest as I watched her start the car and head down the road. I was enjoying the very scent of her as she drove the short distance to the local Starbucks.
' So, how are you doing, education wise?", she asked.
"I'm doing find. Majoring in Political Journalism. It's rough, but it's what I want to do."
"You will be good at that. I just know you will.", she said continuing with the small talk.
All the while I wanted to ask her why she didn't get in touch with me or want to see me again after that night. I got up the nerve and blurted out;
'So, I guess you were disappointed with me that night we spent together (?)'.
"Oh, NO! Why would you think such a thing?'
"Well you kind of ignored me and never contacted me again.'
"It didn't have anything to do with you or that night, my dear'., she said.
"I was involved with someone who is insanely jealous so I didn't want to stress her out. I loved the time you and I spent together. As a matter of fact, I'm not seeing her any longer so if you want, we can pick up where we left off.'
'I would like that', I said sheepishly. Damn, I said to myself, I would LOVE that is what I was thinking. I didn't want to seem too anxious, even though I was having all I could do to just sit there and stare at her without reaching over and touching her. To feel her soft skin against mine again was all I could think about the entire time I sat in the car.
She pulled into the parking lot, shut off the engine and leaned over and kissed me, square on the lips. I melted.
'Don't ever think I don't care about you,' she said.
"Well, I wasn't sure what you were thinking about us'.
'It's ok. I just don't like cheating on anyone and if I continued to see you, it would be cheating on her. Do you understand?''
'Sure, sure, I get it', I said. 'Let's go in and have some coffee'.