Talking The Talk

Chefs and cooks are legendary for their fiery tempers and lack of political correctness; when I used to work in kitchens I was no exception to the rule! I started training when I was 17. From hiding in the toilets in tears because I had been shouted at, I progressed to realise the only way I could survive in a very male dominated environment was to swear constantly and talk the talk with the rest of the team. I have to say nothing is off limits to chat about in the kitchen - chefs will talk about anything and one of the main topics of conversation in any kitchen will be sex. More specifically, who is homosexual and might bumming or licking each other out?

Years ago I worked with a woman chef who I got on very well with. We could talk about anything and our conversations were so lewd, we could make any male colleague's jaw drop within a minute or two and used to enjoy doing so. Our girl on girl chats mainly centred on Kate (I'll call her that) and the things she liked doing in the bedroom. She would send even the hardest male chef running for cover with her tales of her S & M experiences which included spanking her girlfriends, tying them up and her particular fetish -- watersports! She also spoke of her preference for women with large labia, and I can still remember the shocked silence in the kitchen when she asked what my private parts looked like saying she hoped that I had something in my knickers for her to play with should I ever give her the opportunity.

One day while preparing desserts together for a special lunch which Princess Anne would be attending, we finally went too far when my colleague began paddling my arse with a rolling pin for a joke. This was a very important day and not surprisingly the head chef was furious -- he chucked a bucket of water over us and sent us into different sections of the kitchen so we were out of shouting range. The fact that we were no longer allowed to make pastry together was the talk of the catering staff, who ribbed us mercilessly for the remainder of the time we both worked at this particular catering establishment.

But what I didn't understand was while that I was joking, my colleague could not have been more serious.

So it was that one night we all went out on the booze after work as one of the team was leaving. I found I'd missed my last bus home and Kate said that I could crash at hers, so off we went back to her flat.

When we got in Kate offered to wash my clothes so I'd have something clean to wear in the morning when I left. I went into the bathroom and stripped off before handing them to her through a crack in the door. As I turned on the shower I suddenly remembered I'd got some toiletries in with my work stuff, so went out with a towel around me to get them. Kate was in the kitchen sorting out some washing to put in with mine to make a full load and she didn't hear me come back in.

As I found my wash bag, something made me look up. Kate was standing in the kitchen with her face buried in the panties I'd just worn for a 14 hour straight shift in a hot kitchen.

I was transfixed with shock, but deep down I wasn't surprised. Without saying anything I crept back into the shower and as I washed my hair wondered what to do. When I came out a few minutes later Kate went in to take a shower herself, saying she wouldn't be long. I sat watching TV, knowing there was no way I could leave as I didn't have enough money for a cab, so I thought I'd just have to be assertive if she tried anything on.

When Kate finally emerged from the shower she opened a bottle of wine and rolled up a joint and for a while we just sat smoking and talking. I'd just worked 14 hours without a break or much to eat so it wasn't long before I was out of control and flopping around on the couch in the big top she'd loaned me.

One of my very large breasts peeped out and she complimented me on it saying that I had got her share of the tits and went on to say I had a great big arse which she found very sexy. We carried on smoking, chatting and listening to music. After a while, I dimly became aware that Kate had slid her hand under the long top she'd loaned me and had begun stroking my thigh.

I asked her to stop. She apologised and did so. We resumed smoking and drinking red wine, and talking about people we had been with. What we liked doing with them was also discussed in great detail. This woman had made no secret of the fact she was gay in working hours and as I already said I knew exactly what she liked to get up from our chats in the kitchen.

And I trembled at the thought of what she might want to do if I gave her the chance.

There is nothing I enjoy better that a good shagging. At the time I couldn't see how things would be remotely interesting without a fit guy with a big, hard cock ready and willing to give me one. So I countered Kate's stories with tales of some of my exploits with boyfriends, which included fast, rough sex with a waiter in the walk in fridge at work, and giving another boyfriend a blow job in the back of a London black cab.

Again Kate started stroking my thigh as she told me for the umpteenth time that a cock is not essential to have a good time in bed, or indeed whatever location I fancied sex in. In my pot filled haze I dimly thought about what people at work would think about this, but I didn't try to stop her as she pulled my top off so that I sprawled totally naked with my legs flopped open.

I felt Kate's lips on mine and her body weight on top of me. I was shocked at how good it felt to have a woman kiss me like that and couldn't even think of stopping her as she ran her tongue around my neck and gave me little, biting kisses. Her mouth got lower and lower until she kissed each of my nipples in turn before bringing them up between her fingers and sucking them.

I knew where this was going and I didn't think I could go all the way so once again I said I wanted this to stop. Kate's reply was to slide her fingers between my legs and deep inside me, before withdrawing them and putting them to my mouth and telling me to lick them clean. She asked me if I had ever tasted myself before, and of course I had to admit that I had, many times.

Then she said, "So don't you think you are a bit selfish not to let me taste you too", before sliding her fingers into my now soaking snatch and licking them herself. I remember telling her then that I had already seen her sniffing my panties and that enough was enough.

I tried to get up to leave. Kate whispered she was sorry and asked me not to go, saying nothing would happen that I didn't want. So I sat down and we carried on chatting until once again her hand drifted between my legs followed soon after by her mouth. Finally she slid on to the floor and knelt between my spread legs, and leaned forward. I felt her tongue running up and down my swollen labia. By this time I didn't want this to stop and quit worrying about my pubic hair; and whether my labia were large enough for her liking as she drew each one into her mouth in turn and sucked on them.

Kate just kept her tongue coming and coming.

As it probed into every corner of my pussy, I heard myself go out of control - squealing and moaning like a whore as she stuck two fingers inside me and worked them slowly as she nibbled at my clit. It went on for what seemed like hours but maybe that was just the pot I'd been smoking doing its job. She teased me and teased me with her tongue then moved her fingers inside me before switching over to lick out my now sopping snatch and lightly stroke my butthole at the same time. By this time I was begging to be allowed to come and finally as she flicked her tongue across my clit I did so.

As Kate climbed back on to the sofa and lay with her head in my lap, I could smell my juices which were smeared all over her face. I knew that I was being very rude and selfish if I didn't pleasure her the way she had just pleasured me so I asked where her bedroom was. I said I thought we should continue this in a bit more comfort.

We walked through to it and Kate lay down on the bed. As I began kissing and touching her it felt odd caressing a woman's curves and soft skin rather than a man's hard body -- she was a big girl like me. Some men like their nipples sucked and played with so I was already used to doing this -- it did not feel strange at all as I ran my tongue round and licked Kate's left nipple before drawing it into my mouth to suck it. It was just another nipple so I thought to myself "so what?" as it hardened in my mouth.

As I progressed downwards I began stroking her stomach and licking her belly button as I tried to get my head round what I was going to do next. Smelling Kate's juices as I kissed her inner thighs and the feeling of their hot, damp softness sliding against my cheeks started to turn me on.

The light was still on so it gave me the chance to examine Kate's pussy in more detail before moving in for the kill. She was shaven and this showed off her large protruding inner labia. They were attributes I knew she was very proud of because she had told me that at work - several times. As I began to play with them and watched them puff up even more, I remembered her telling me that as a teenager she had pulled them out for prolonged periods of time to enlarge them even more.

Finally I knew I had to do this thing so I started by kissing around Kate's snatch before going on to tease those cushion like inner lips with my tongue. As I kneaded her clit with my fingers she moaned with pleasure. After a while I swopped over and concentrated on playing lip service to her clit but after a while got bored. I decided I wanted to show the bitch just how damn good having a full up cunt feels.

I'd noticed a very large candle by Kate's bed when we went in the room. I picked it up and after spreading those enormous pussy lips wide, attempted to ease it inside Kate. She asked me to stop saying she didn't think she could take the candle as she had never been with a man before. I made her lick it wet then persuaded her to let me proceed to gently but persistently push it in her to the hilt as I continued to nibble at her clit. In the end Kate agreed that maybe just maybe that candle would go in all the way as it all but disappeared inside her.

I began gently thrusting the candle gradually getting rougher when I saw Kate starting to enjoy the unbeatable feeling of having something big and hard giving her a good, rough seeing to, until she started to bellow before climaxing with an explosive roar. At that moment I lost my grip on the candle and it left Kate's snatch like a bullet out of a rifle. It flew across the room before it hit the white painted wall and left a spattered, smear mark, then dropped to the floor. After laughing ourselves sick we fell asleep in each other's arms until the next morning when I woke with a rocking hangover remembering that I had to go to work. Leaving Kate in bed I set off but when I tried to get on the bus realised I had left my wallet behind so went back to her flat.

As soon as Kate saw me at the door she started kissing and stroking my hair, and led me back off to the bedroom. And as I followed her already wet between the legs, I thought I'd die if anyone at work found out about this.