Tales From the Stream

Tales from the Stream

by Davina Lee

*

Author's Note

If you're a regular follower of this happy band of lesbian space pirates, you already know they're a tight-knit crew. You'll also know their family extends not just to each other, but to the artificial intelligence named Mia, and Mia's ever faithful harvester crab, Reg.

And with an introduction like that, you should probably not be expecting a particularly sexy story. But there will be a heaping helping of love and, of course, the usual silly lesbian space pirate antics.

It's been a while, so...

Previously on Tales from the Stream

"I don't want to discourage you, but all we have to offer are bare walls and a bunch of granola bars. Our ship's galley is all jacked up and we've only figured out how to work half of the other tech."

* * *

"Amaliya's on hunger strike," said Jade.

"Oh," said Lúcia. She pushed her granola bar back to the center of the table. "Then I shall join you in solidarity, sister Amaliya. What are we protesting?"

"Nothing," grumbled Amaliya.

"I see," said Lúcia.

"And everything." Amaliya pulled her fingers from her hair and pressed her palms to the table. She pushed herself up straight. "Mostly the breakfast selection. If another granola bar passes over my lips, I might just lose the will to live."

* * *

"Start with a sync request. Wait for an acknowledgment and a sync request from the robotic entity for gardening. Then send your own acknowledgment along with the details of your request."

"Sync, sync, acknowledge," said Tomia.

"Exactly."

* * *

"Tonā ga sukunai," said Lúcia.

"The toner is low," said Aidoru, the three of her gathering behind Amaliya, still mostly in the corridor.

"Tonā ga sukunai," she continued.

"It means low toner."

* * *

And now...

Tales from the Stream 28: Jolene

Onboard the Black Prince

Sister Lúcia sat on the edge of the king-size bed, hunched forward. She sat facing the door of the en suite, that was currently closed, while leaning on one elbow and holding a half eaten granola bar loosely in the fingers of her other hand. She was sporting a towel around her neck.

"Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Joleeeene..." echoed Amaliya's voice from the other side of the door.

Lúcia raised her hand to take another bite from the granola bar.

"Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Joleeeene..."

"There you are," said Captain Jade, striding through the door from the corridor. "Good morning."

"G'morning, cap'n," mumbled Lúcia as she chewed.

Jade focused her gaze on the granola bar dangling from Lúcia's hand. "Hey, you're not--?"

Lúcia looked up while pointing to the napkin across her lap.

"Oh, good," said Jade. "Sorry to jump on you like that. It's just that--"

"Crumbs on the bed." Lúcia nodded. "I understand. Crumbs on the bed are no fun for anyone."

"Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Joleeeene..."

Captain Jade nodded once in return. She stared at Lúcia while holding her lower lip in her teeth. "Sorry. I shouldn't have... Totally out of line."

"

Pas de souci

," said Lúcia. "Crumbs on the bed make for itchy sheets. Itchy sheets make for a bad night's sleep. And with all of us sharing the bed, it would be difficult to find a spot devoid of the itchiness. That I understand.

"But what I do not understand is why this Jolene person would want to take Amaliya's man. Amaliya seems adamant that this will be the course of events in the near future. But yet I sense she feels powerless to stop it."

"How long have you been waiting for the shower?" asked Jade.

Lúcia shrugged. "And who is this man? I know so little about Amaliya's family. Does she have a brother, perhaps? Where would Jolene take him? Are they going on a trip? A trip into the stream? Is it a dangerous journey? Is that why Amaliya does not want Jolene to take him?"

All three Aidoru filed in from the corridor, one after another and came to stand beside the bed next to Lúcia.

"Lúcia, my love," said Aidoru.

"You have not had your shower?

"I thought you were done."

Lúcia looked up at the Aidoru in the center and smiled. She then shook her head while fingering the towel around her neck.

"Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Joleeeene..."

"Amaliya has been showering for some time," said Lúcia.

Aidoru stood with her hands on her hips for a moment and then all three of her spun around simultaneously to face the door of the en suite. All three Aidoru lifted three right hands.

"Jolene, Jolene, Jo--"

All three Aidoru simultaneously rapped on the door.

"Wassup?" hollered Amaliya from the other side of the door. "Somebody need to pee?"

"When you're done singing," said Aidoru,

"Lúcia needs a shower.

"She has been waiting."

"Sorry," hollered Amaliya. "I guess I got carried away. Plenty of room. Send her in."

Aidoru turned back to Lúcia and smiled. Lúcia stood up. She held her half-eaten granola bar out toward Aidoru. All three Aidoru shook their heads.

Lúcia turned to Captain Jade, holding out the granola bar.

"What kind?" asked Jade.

"S'mores flavor," said Lúcia.

Captain Jade shrugged and took the granola bar in her fingers. She put a corner between her teeth. Lúcia quickly held up a finger, and followed by offering the napkin.

"Right," said Jade. "And sorry about earlier."

"Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Joleeeene..."

Lúcia leaned in to kiss Captain Jade on the cheek. She then kissed each Aidoru in turn before reaching out for the door of the en suite. A cloud of steam rolled into the bedroom when she opened it.

"Sister Amaliya," said Lúcia. "We must talk about this Jolene person."

* * *

Two hours later

"Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Joleeeene..." sang Lúcia, at the top of her lungs, as she traipsed down the corridor with Amaliya in tow. They were both wearing fluffy, full-length, cotton bathrobes and towels wrapped around their heads.

Amaliya had just opened her mouth to belt out a response when they turned the corner into the ship's galley.

"Still?" said Jade.

Amaliya closed her mouth without uttering another verse.

Lúcia and Amaliya stood at the doorway to the galley, looking at Jade and Aidoru. Adoru was clustered around a tablet computer displaying technical drawings annotated with Japanese text. Jade was crouched in front of the galley dispenser, holding a 10mm socket wrench out to Reg, the harvester crab, who was currently perched under the dispenser's nozzle. The front panel of the galley dispenser was detached and on the floor.

Reg raised a pincer and waved.

Lúcia and Amaliya waved back.

Reg then disappeared into the bowels of the dispenser with the socket wrench clutched in his right pincer.

"Still working on it?" asked Amaliya.

"Pretty much," said Jade.

"Yuku haru ya

"Tori naki uwo no

"Me wa namida," said Aidoru.

"I have no idea what you just said," said Amaliya, "but I'm guessing it's not good news."

"The birds and the fish are crying," said Lúcia.

"Hm," said Amaliya, nodding.

Reg once again emerged from inside the galley. He dropped the wrench into Jade's hand and threw up his pincers.

"Looks like granola bars and water for the foreseeable future," said Jade. "No luck, Reg?"

Reg shimmied back and forth.

"Did anybody try rebooting it?" asked Amaliya. "I only ask because, well, you know my feelings on granola bars."

"We have rebooted," said Aidoru, glancing up from the manual page displayed on the tablet computer.

"And disconnected power,

"All to no avail."

"Well," said Amaliya, "that's about the limit of my expertise."

"I am unsure if there is anything I can do," said Lúcia. "I do not know if there is a patron saint of direct synthesis galley dispensers. Perhaps I could look it up on the net."

"Speaking of the net," said Jade. "Ole Reg here has been taking pictures of the insides of this thing. Once we're out of the stream and have WiFi again, we can do some cross-referencing. Maybe figure out why it doesn't do anything besides flash Low Toner warnings."

"If the hardware's fine," said Aidoru,

"Maybe it's a software bug.

"Emily would know."

"Yeah," said Jade. "I kinda think you might be right. Once we get back into WiFi range, we can email her."

"Or video call," suggested Amaliya. "I'm only saying that, because I don't know how many more granola bars I can choke down before I lose my will to live."

"There's the time difference to think about," said Jade.

"If it's the middle of the night here, I don't care. I'll call her. I just... I can't... not another granola bar."

"Baby," said Jade, standing up and reaching out to wrap her arms around Amaliya.

* * *

Three in the morning, ship's time

Amaliya sat at the galley table, rubbing her eyes while staring down at the tablet computer on the table. Reg was perched on her right shoulder.

"Did you try rebooting it?" asked Joan.

On Amaliya's shoulder, Reg bounced once.

"Many times," said Amaliya.

"Hm, that's about all I know. Hold on a sec." The image of Captain Joan disappeared from the tablet screen for a moment.

"Hey Lukas," said Joan, from off camera, "You know anything about fixing galley dispensers?"

"Did you try rebooting it?" came a young man's voice from the other end of the connection.

Reg rolled his eye stalks. Amaliya slumped forward, leaning on her elbows and gripping her hair between her splayed fingers.

"Hold on," said Joan, leaning into the camera so that her face filled the entirety of the tablet screen, "Emily's here now."

Joan moved off to the side.

"Hey Amaliya," said Emily, her smiling face filling the tablet screen. Her hair was pulled into a ponytail. "What's up. I hear you're having trouble with the dispenser again."

Amaliya nodded. Reg raised a pincer.

"Did you try rebooting it?"

"Seriously?" muttered Amaliya.

"Sorry, had to ask. I take it that's a yes."

"Several times," said Amaliya.

"Disconnect from power?"

Amaliya nodded.

"Waited thirty--?"

"Waited thirty seconds before repowering," said Amaliya. "Yep. We've got the manual. It's in Japanese, but Aidoru's translating."

"Hmm," said Emily. "I'm not sure what else I can tell you until you get here and I can put an eye on it."

"The birds and the fish are crying," said Amaliya.

"Huh?"

"It just keeps flashing low toner. It doesn't matter what we try." Amaliya frowned. "Jade even had Reg inside taking pictures."

Reg turned his eye stalks to the tablet screen and bounced up and down.

"Pictures? Inside?" said Emily. "Email me those, will you? I'll see what I can find out. Reg, can you get a shot with the serial number of the thing? That'll help."

Reg raised a pincer above his eye stalks and lowered it crisply before turning to the galley dispenser and disappearing inside.

"Sorry I couldn't be more help," said Emily.

"Granola bars," muttered Amaliya. "Fucking granola bars."

"Oh, honey. I'll get us a reservation at Grandpa Stepano's. Chow down all you want when you get here. It's on my tab."

"Thanks, Em."

"Hang in there, babe. We'll get it figured out."

* * *

Nauja Vilnius Space Elevator, two days later

Amaliya stood between Captain Jade on her left, Sister Lúcia on her right, and a cluster of three Aidoru fidgeting around Lúcia. Reg was perched on Lúcia's shoulder, with his eye stalks turned to Aidoru. Everyone but Aidoru and Reg was looking up at the red LED display as the numbers counted down. Aidoru was occupying herself stroking Reg under his chin while Reg was busy angling for a better position.

Strains of The Girl From Ipanema were playing from speakers embedded in the ceiling. No one spoke while all this was happening.

When the digital display finally reached zero, the music paused long enough to issue a single chime from the speaker and the doors slid open.

Waiting outside the elevator were Captain Joan and Emily. They were both smiling and both had their hands full. Emily held three brown paper sacks and Captain Joan held three large Toblerone bars.

Emily held out the first of the sacks to Amaliya. "Kūčiukai," said Emily. "Poppy seed pastries."

"I love you Emily!" exclaimed Amaliya as she ran forward and tore into the sack. "Have I ever told you that? I do." Amaliya swooped in to kiss Emily on the cheek. "I love you and your baked goods. You're a beautiful human being."

While Amaliya was sticking her face into the paper sack and inhaling deeply, Captain Joan was passing the Toblerone bars to Aidoru, who ran forward to wrap Joan in her arms.

Once free of Amaliya's embrace, Emily passed out the remaining sacks of pastries to Jade and Lúcia. Reg turned his eye stalks to peer into the sack Lúcia held for a moment before spinning around and heading for Lúcia's jumpsuit pocket.

"So good," said Amaliya. "Ohhh. So good."

"Thanks, Em," said Jade.

"Delicious," said Lúcia. "Did you make these?"

Emily shook her head. "Bakery down the street."

"Hey, Em," said Jade. "Where's Jamie. Not that it's any of my business, but you two are usually... well, inseparable."

"Oh. She's with Jolene, looking at the pictures Reg sent over."

Amaliya and Lúcia both stopped chewing, mid-bite. "Jolene?" they said.

Emily nodded. "Yeah, Jolene. You know her?"

* * *

Grandpa Stepano's Authentic

The hostess led Emily, Amaliya, and Lúcia to a dimly-lit back corner of the restaurant. She came to a stop beside a booth with a single occupant, a woman with a wild mane of pink dyed hair, currently scooping up a large forkful of potato dumplings from the plate in front of her.

"Jolene," said the hostess, and then departed.

"Hi," said the woman, still chewing. She set down her fork and brought up a napkin to dab at the corner of her mouth. She set the napkin down and reached for her glass of water.

"These are my friends I was telling you about," said Emily.

Amaliya and Lúcia stood staring.

"With the jazzed up galley?" asked Jolene.

"Mm-hmm."

Amaliya and Lúcia remained transfixed, unblinking.

"Cepelinai," said Jolene, trading her water glass for her fork and poking at one of the dumplings. "Or didžkukuliai if you want to be traditional about it. Best food in the stream if you ask me."

Amaliya and Lúcia said nothing.

"Want some?" offered Jolene. "Cheese and mushrooms. I don't do meat. I can order up another plate. We'll split it."

Amaliya blinked once. Finally, it was Lúcia who spoke. "Jolene?" said Lúcia.

Jolene nodded. "I know, I know," she said. "You were probably expecting auburn hair and emerald eyes."

Lúcia shrugged.

"Not pink hair, brown eyes, and an epicanthic fold behind the glasses, huh?"

"Sorry," muttered Amaliya.

"Don't be. I know the song. I kind of like it."

"You are beautiful beyond compare," said Lúcia.

"Aww. And you're a sweetheart." Jolene scooted over to clear space on the bench where she sat and reached out to slide her plate in front of her new perch. "Have a seat. Tell me about this galley dispenser problem."

* * *

Twenty minutes and a second plate of cepelinai later

"You need new firmware," said Jolene.

"How do you know that?" asked Emily. "You haven't even seen the dispenser. All you've been doing is eating dumplings for the past ninety minutes."

"I have a fast metabolism," said Jolene. "I need my carbs. Besides, your harvester crab already sent me pictures showing me everything I need to know."

Amaliya cocked her head. "Harvester crab?"

"Yeah. Little guy, about twenty centimeters around. Where'd you find a relic like that anyway?"

"Reg," said Amaliya. "His name is Reg. He's not a relic. He's part of the crew."

"Well, I'd love to have a look at it."

Below the table, in Lúcia's jumpsuit pocket, Reg pushed a single pincer out through to loosen the Velcro closure. Holding the pocket flap wide, he followed by poking his eye stalks out.

"Miss Jolene," said Lúcia. "How do you know about Reg. Do you have a harvester crab friend as well?"

"Friend?" Jolene covered her mouth with her napkin as she chuckled briefly. "No. Nothing like that. Metadata." Jolene traded her napkin for her fork and stabbed at another dumpling.

Under the table, Reg crawled from Lúcia's pocket and latched onto the tablecloth with his other pincer.

"Metadata?" said Amaliya.

"What? Are you people Luddites or something?" mumbled Jolene as she chewed. "Metadata. It's the reason you don't post your pictures to social media without scrubbing them first."

Emily nodded. Amaliya and Lúcia just stared.

"Seriously?" said Jolene. "It's the information embedded in the image file. GPS location. Camera settings. Make and model of the camera..."

Climbing pincer over pincer, Reg scaled the tablecloth and peered up over the edge.

"...or harvester crab, in this case," said Jolene. "And there it is." Jolene turned toward Reg and tapped the side of her glasses.

"Takahashi-Ono," said Jolene. "Hard to believe the finest AI in history. The natural language interface everyone has been modeling their software on for decades. And it all came from a company trying to expand its lawn and garden division into industrial farming."

"Are you a historian, Miss Jolene?" asked Lúcia.

"Hmm? No." Jolene touched her finger to her glasses again. "Augmented reality," she said. "Glasses are hooked into the net. All I do is look and tap... You people really have no idea about technology, do you? This crab you have in your possession--"

"Reg is a member of our crew," said Lúcia.

"Sure, whatever." Jolene reached out toward Reg. "I'd love to get my hands on it."

Reg extended a pincer toward Jolene's finger.

"Poke around in its subroutines," continued Jolene.

Reg stopped reaching out, holding his position instead.

"Get in its head, so to speak. Decompile its code."

On the table, Reg pulled his pincer back.

"See what makes it tick," finished Jolene.

On eight little legs, Reg began to back away.

"I do not think Reg would like that," said Lúcia.

"Reg?" Jolene raised an eyebrow as she said it. "Reg is a machine. That's all. Why should it have a say in any of this?"

Jolene reached out with her hand again, with her finger and thumb open wide, closing in on Reg. But Lúcia was there first, placing her hand between Jolene and Reg, blocking Jolene's advance.

"Jolene," said Lúcia, her gaze piercing. "Please don't try to take our man."

Jolene let out a humph and went back to her plate of cepelinai.

"We should go," said Emily, pushing her chair back.

"I agree," said Amaliya.

Lúcia nodded.

* * *

Outside Grandpa Stepano's Authentic

"You sure you don't want to order something to go?" asked Emily. "I was serious when I said I was buying."

Amaliya shook her head. "Where's that bakery? The place you got the poppy seed thingies."

"The kūčiukai? It's from a place across from the tourist office."

"Where Joan works?"

Emily nodded.

"Why did I not know this before?"

"It just re-opened. They were remodeling or expanding or something."

Amaliya grinned. "Wanna go?"

Emily shook her head. "I want to get to work on this galley problem. I get the feeling Jolene's not going to be any help. More of a menace, I'd say."

Amaliya shrugged. "Want anything from the bakery?"

Again, Emily shook her head.

"M'kay, see ya." Amaliya waved before turning to trot off down the sidewalk.

Emily let out a noisy sigh.

"You seem upset," said Lúcia.

"Yeah. Not with Amaliya, though." Emily started walking. "I don't like to trash talk other women, but that Jolene's kind of a bitch. I mean, she could help us, but..."

From Lúcia's jumpsuit pocket, Reg once again pushed the Velcro tab out of the way with a pincer.