I do love the internet. I love having a venue to express myself and my experiences and my desires. I only wish I had more time to devote to it. I especially wish I had more time to write of some of my experiences. More patience too, since I often start writing something only to reach a point where I'd rather attend to the arousal the writing creates than finish the writing!
It does sadden me though, when on some chat rooms and sites, I hear that so many of the desires expressed are still only fantasies. So many of the women here have yet to experience the very things they desire the most.
I have no such issues. I knew pretty early on about my deepest desires and pursued them with vigour. I only realise now, by being here how lucky I was. I'm not sure what to advise a woman who is out of college how to pursue their first experience with another woman. Even less for a woman who is married or otherwise committed. All I could say is be true to yourself, be brave, take a chance, and don't chicken out, go for it knowing that this will change everything. And use the internet!
It is a different world when you are experienced and past the concerns and fears you might have had if you had not experimented in your youth. Take what happened to me a few months back.
I had just started a new job. Not yet comfortable that I knew what I was doing. Doing monkey work in the mean time until I learned all the terminology, the corporate structure, the systems, etc. And spending a lot of time away from my desk at the training classes my manager had arranged.
I hated the training sessions. I have enough knowledge and experience to know most of the material anyway and for the rest it was hard to find the motivation to pay attention. When they wanted us to split into focus groups and discuss the material before reporting back, I really wanted to start shooting people.
At least I could distract myself by sneaking peeks at one woman sitting at a desk across and to the right of me. I did not catch her name at first. But I found myself a little entranced. She had thick, short hair that was parted on one side. It was dyed an un-natural, very bright yellow, blonde. There were a few streaks of orange through it. Like the colours of a sunset.
I loved her skin, smooth and clear and fair. I like the porcelain complexion. She wore only minimal make up. A little bronzer to accentuate the cheekbones, a thin mascara and a natural-colour lip gloss.
She wore a large pair of glasses with bright red plastic frames. Her jewellery would have been considered tacky on anyone else, with a large plastic heart on one finger, but on her it completed her look.
"I like your ring" I told her and she smiled and thanked me.
I would not say she that she had a chubby face. Not at all. She was very pretty. But she was a big girl. Very tall, quite busty and curvaceous. She reminded me a little of Christina Hendricks. Her clothes in no way hid her form but did not accentuate it either. She wore a long skirt, thick stockings and flat shoes and she kept her jacket on the whole time, which I did too as it was cold in the training room.
I like to think that I don't have a 'type' as far as the women I am attracted to are concerned, although I prefer feminine women to butch ones. But I do find myself enchanted when I find a woman I am attracted to who seems to be different to what I am used to. And she was. Lately I have been finding myself more attracted to taller women, bustier women, curvier women. I think it's simply because they are unlike most of my previous lovers. She was all that and still very feminine and pretty.
On our break I found out her name was Deb and we made some chit chat about work and the weather and what we did before we started here. I found myself wanting to make a connection, but our break was too short and we were soon back at training.
If I was enchanted before, I was well and truly bewitched now. And with her short, parted hair I dared to imagine that she was no stranger to sleeping with women.
After leaving for the day, everything I did for the rest of the evening was a mere distraction from my true purpose. I went to the gym, I went home, I ate my dinner, watched some tv, got ready for bed. And it was only then, lying in bed at the end of the day that I indulged in what I had been holding inside me for hours. I thought about Deb. I tried to imagine how we might find each other, how we would confess to each other, how we would undress each other. I thought about what I needed to do to her, what I needed her to do to me. When I had reached the necessary point, I reached over to open the top drawer of my bedside table, I fished inside for the tube, I spread the lubricant along my fingers and took myself to oblivion.
It's always easy to put a smile on your face on a Friday. It's easier still when you know you are going to meet someone you have a new crush on. I do feel a little strange sometimes though, a little naughty, when I am around someone who doesn't know I recently masturbated while thinking about them.
But there was also a lot of apprehension. I had to ask myself the same awful question I always have to ask myself when I have a crush - do I do anything about it?
