Student Lesbian Bdsm

It was the first time I left the house in over two weeks. Here I sat, on my own at the bar, looking cautiously at my surroundings. Never before had I been to a BDSM themed bar. It was rather daunting. I didn't know if I was more afraid of meeting someone or meeting no one.

Sipping the same drink I'd gotten more than twenty minutes ago to calm my nerves, I looked around. Everyone around me was wearing next to nothing, and acting in a way that wasn't usually publicly acceptable; men were dragging women behind them on leashes and in a few cases vice-versa. Dominants sat with their submissives kneeling on pillows at their feet and sometimes touching them in ways that people only usually would in the comfort of their own bedrooms.

I couldn't help but notice there wasn't a single person in the room whose feet I would have liked to kneel beside. If Erica was here it would be different. Even after weeks my thoughts only ran to her, to the still-vivid memories of her teaching me about passion and myself. Every morning I lay in bed and cried until I ran out of tears. I tried to soothe myself by snuggling into my pillow as though it was her bosom but it never worked. I missed being held and punished and scolded. I even missed the smell of her expensive musky perfume and the sound of her heels on the floor.

With those four words, 'I don't love you,' she had ripped my heart out and torn it into tiny pieces. I wasn't sure if it could be salvaged. I would even be willing to bear the physical impacts of her temper again. Trying not to tear up again, I cleared all thoughts of Erica from my mind. Thinking like this wasn't going to solve my problems. What I really needed was something to take my mind off her, to have fun again. That's why I came; it was the only answer.

I was brought out of my doldrums by a dark haired man, clearly a dominant by his choice of outfit. It was strange, being able to tell so much about someone from the way he or she dressed. In a place like this I suppose the dress code helped a lot of people find what they were looking for; people practically wrote their sexual roles on their foreheads. Picking out the single lesbians however was a different matter.

'See my mate over there,' the man pointed.

'Um... yes,' I said, following his gesture to a table on the other side of the club. His friend was a tall skinny man wearing a short, pink dress with ruffles around the neckline.

'What do you think?' He asked with a dirty grin.

I must have looked completely disgusted at the thought.

'Stuck up bitch!' He said, giving me a dirty look and beginning to walk away.

'Nothing against your friend!' I panicked, not wanting to offend anyone. 'I prefer women...' My voice began to entirely fail me, and I still surprised myself when I quietly admitted, 'dominant ones...' I ventured a small guilty smile.

'You're a submissive!' he exclaimed, looking confused.

'Yes,' I replied.

'You don't dress like one!' he said looking me up and down.

I didn't actually own any proper BDSM style clothes. I had just worn my black, imitation leather skinny trousers I had bought for £10 in Topshop tucked into my heeled ankle boots and a partly sheer lace bustier. When I looked over all the other females in the room I realised I was indeed dressed more like a dominant than a submissive. Submissives tended to show a lot more flesh; to be honest I thought the majority just looked like tarts. Erica had never expected me to adhere to any kind of dress code.

'I've never been anywhere like this before,' I admitted. 'I had no idea what to expect.'

'I was wondering why I'd never seen you around before! It's not too bad for a first attempt... Are you waiting for someone?'

'No, I just came to get a proper feel of all of this.'

'Come over to our table. There might even be a few lesbians of your variety waiting there,' he smiled broadly.

I went with him, grateful to escape my solitude. I felt awkward sitting there on my own and besides, the reason I came here was to meet new people.

'I'm Jonathan by the way,' he said.

'I'm Anna.'

There were seven people sitting around the table; three couples. Jonathan and his wife Marcia, Helen and her submissive partner Simon, the man who Jonathan had tried to set me up with, Joe, whom everyone teasingly called 'Josephine' and finally a lesbian couple, Carla and Beth.

Jonathan quickly introduced me as 'Anna; the submissive lesbian.' I watched Joe sink disappointedly back down into his seat.

Everyone at the table was surprisingly attractive. I must admit I had been expecting a room full of nerdy, overweight people. I was ashamed of myself for being so stereotypical. Jonathan and Marcia were the perfect image of dominant and submissive. Jonathan was tall and muscular while Marcia was very petite with huge brown eyes. Helen wasn't very tall but I couldn't help but notice her disproportionate cleavage which I was sure was natural. Her submissive, Simon, sat obediently at her feet on his leash. Joe was quite a feminine looking 'woman' but there was something unmistakably cute about him.

Carla and Beth were both the epitome of the typical pretty girl. Neither was any more than average height or build but they had nice, firm, proportionate bodies and obviously believed in showing them off. They both wore matching outfits; heels, stockings, short skirts and low cut tops. I learned they were both switches and seemed very open minded.

Neither of them had the same immediate presence Erica had; she only had to look at me and I was on my knees. Everything felt so natural when I was with her. I sighed as I thought of Erica once more. I didn't particularly want to be submissive to either Carla or Beth, or for that matter, any other woman in the room. I wanted my Erica to walk in, pick me up, take me home and pull me over her lap.

I quickly tried to get rid of the thought. Erica had been all I thought about for weeks. Most days I hadn't made it out of bed and spent my time crying into my pillow because she had rejected me. I had lived in hope that she would come back and allow me to cry into her bosom and cuddle me, but as I looked around this small table I slowly realized I had to move on. After a few more awkward moments I had made up my mind; this evening I was determined to prove to myself that I didn't need Erica.

I suppose that's how I ended up back at Carla and Beth's. I was usually very cautious about who I slept with although I had acted so differently with Erica. I didn't want Carla or Beth in the same way. They couldn't compare, no one could.

We got a taxi back to the apartment and wasted no time in getting straight to the sex.

'You're going to be ours to play with all evening,' Beth teased. Her short, platinum blonde bob accentuating her dimples when she smiled.

'You'd better do as we say,' Carla added, walking up behind me. I noticed how blue her eyes were. I was convinced they were contacts. All of a sudden she was right behind me and had one of my breasts firmly cupped in each of her hands.

Beth pinned my hands behind my back and kissed me vigorously. I jumped up onto my toes in surprise. This was all happening so quickly.

They both let me go at the same time and I fell back onto the flats of my feet.

'It's always the pretty ones isn't it?' Carla began, 'They always think they'll get what they want just by standing around and batting their eyelashes.'

I blushed shyly.

'You see what I mean!' she exclaimed. 'Being all cute and shy isn't going to make us want to spoil you.'

'I think we'd better show her who's boss!' Beth announced. 'Can you eat pussy slut?'

'Yes,' I answered softly.

'It's Ma'am to you.' She said blatantly.

'Sorry Ma'am,' I said looking down at the floor.

'I think I'm beginning to like you a little more. Take off those trousers and get on your hands and knees in front of the sofa.'

I did as I was told and took off my trousers, revealing that my lace bustier was actually a one piece. It didn't take a genius to work out what was coming next. I crawled up to the sofa where they had both sat down.

Carla took my ponytail in hand and shoved my face up her skirt. I wasn't surprised that my nose landed straight in her sticky cunt. She didn't seem the type to wear knickers.

'Get to it!' she shouted, 'What good is a sub that can't eat pussy?'

Reticently I began to lick her pussy. Carla pushed my head in so far I could barely breathe. In search of the fastest way to make her cum, I tried suckling her clit. She bucked and humped against my face and began to moan. I hated being used like this, it was so demeaning. There was no love, no passion, and no thrill. Perhaps some girls could get their kicks out of being treated like meaningless sex toy but I couldn't.

Right then she came all over me. After she had cum she rubbed my face around in all her juices. I made sure to close my eyes and mouth tightly. So much for the hour I spent applying my make-up.

Next I moved on to Beth. She insisted that I sat down on the sofa where she had been. I complied. It came as no surprise when she climbed on top of me on all fours (her knees on my shoulders and my face between her legs.) My head was jammed up against the back of the headrest of the sofa. I felt absolutely smothered. I tried my best to make her come in the least time possible. Every now and again she would move forward a little to allow me to breathe; otherwise I had to hold my breath. Luckily it wasn't difficult to make her cum. Again I was covered in cum and Beth also took pleasure in making sure she had spread herself over my whole face. I was determined not to do anything to allow them to embarrass me further.

She didn't climb off me terribly elegantly. Her legs were still shaky from her orgasm as she descended the sofa clumsily, nearly falling flat on her face. I was trying my hardest not to laugh but it didn't work. I might have got away with it if Carla hadn't been standing watching. At least it had cheered me up a little.

'I was planning to give you a treat now but I won't bother!' she said.

'I'm sorry Ma'am. I didn't mean to,' I pleaded, hoping I could make her change her mind.

'I bet your old Mistress let you get away with just about anything. Those little puppy-eyes aren't going to work on us!'

'She didn't let me away with anything...' I mused, staring at the ground.

'I don't think you know the meaning of strict, whore!' Beth scowled.

If Erica had ever treated me like that I would have been in tears right away. When I was with her I always felt cared for, even when she had spanked me and forced a butt plug inside of me. I couldn't imagine either Carla or Beth, or for that matter anyone else, making love to me so tenderly after a punishment.

'Strip!' Carla ordered.

Determined to go through with the remainder of the evening and to forget Erica I took of the rest of my clothes of. I decided I should try as hard as possible to enjoy myself, it was what I needed.

I stood nervously; completely naked in the middle of the room.

'Get on your knees, legs spread and hands on your thighs, palms upturned.'

'Yes, Ma'am,' I replied meekly.

'Now look what I've got here,' Beth said, re-entering the room, having obtained a bottle of Tabasco sauce. She took the top off and put a few drops on finger. 'Open your mouth and stick out your tongue,' Beth demanded.

As expected, she walked towards me and wiped the sauce on my tongue. I began to pant as the heat spread through my mouth; I never had a taste for spicy food. I watched Beth put more sauce on her fingers.

'Stick your tits out further!' she stipulated. This time she rubbed the sauce into my nipples. I didn't want to become aroused but my body was betraying me. I felt my nipples getting hard and my pussy becoming damp. The tingling became more intense and my nipples became more sensitive to the cool breeze from the open window.

Next she went for my pussy, first my clit and then my slit. My clit felt as though it was being stimulated physically as the sauce burned my skin. Then Beth stuck her liberally coated fingers deep inside of me without preliminaries.

I grimaced as my insides started to burn. With time the pain only grew to be more consuming rather than fade away as I had expected.

'Oh, look at the poor little tart!' Carla taunted.

'Not so smug now, are we?' jeered Beth.

I looked up at them both angrily but I knew if Erica had done something like this to me I would be like putty in her hands; obedient, eager to please and desperate to take everything she sent my way gratefully. Then again Erica wouldn't treat me like an inferior little whore the way Carla and Beth did. Yet again I caught myself thinking about her when I had vowed to forget. It was useless; without her I was useless.

I breathed heavily to stop myself from crying. The stinging grew and grew and there was nothing I could do about it. I wriggled around to try and ease the pain but I was quickly told to stop or they would just put more sauce inside of me.

I wasn't turned on anymore. Now it was just becoming unbearable. I hated the way they both sat smiling at the sight of me in pain. Carla began to finger Beth's slit and Beth returned the favour. They sat and stared at me hungrily barely paying attention to what they were doing to each other. For the second time that evening they both came like waterfalls. It didn't take much effort to get either of them to cum. If I had received the same treatment they had I was sure I would still be completely indifferent.

'Please Ma'am' I began, 'Wash it off.'

'Does it hurt?' Carla teased.

'Yes Ma'am.' I responded obediently.

'Okay then,' she said simply.

I was surprised to say the least. I thought they were relishing my pain. Beth took one of my hands and Carla took the other as they lead me towards the bathroom. I climbed shakily into the bath as they directed.

'Gosh! Maybe your old Mistress didn't let you away with much after all!' Beth exclaimed. I knew the welts from the cane still showed faintly on my ass. I changed the subject quickly.

'May I turn the tap on Ma'am?' I asked sweetly as they took their shoes off.

'No,' Beth answered, 'Lie on your back.'

I lay down and both Beth and Carla got in the bath and stood over me.

'I think I'll do your nipples first,' said Beth.

Instead of turning on the tap, like I had expected she stood just over my breast with a leg on either side of my body. I cried out loud when Beth began to pee on me.

Although my nipples no longer stung I was utterly disgusted. Before I had a chance to react Carla began urinating also. I felt the pee running all around my body and suddenly my stinging pussy wasn't so much of a problem.

'I can't do this!' I exclaimed, the tears beginning to trickle from the corners of my eyes. 'I can't do this.' I repeated more quietly, as if to myself.

Suddenly they both stopped. The tone of my voice changed completely. It was obvious I was distressed.

'Oh my God!' Carla whispered.

'Are you ok Anna?' asked Beth sounding concerned.

'I'm fine,' I said taking a deep breath and dabbing at my eyes. 'I shouldn't have come tonight, it's far too soon...'

'We shouldn't have pushed you this far.' Carla apologised.

'You just seemed up for it...' Beth trailed off.

'I was. It's not your fault at all. Please just let me wash and then I'll go,' I sobbed vehemently.

'Do you want me to call you a cab?' Carla asked.

'Yes please.'

As soon as I got myself washed and dressed I thanked Beth and Carla and left.

I cried the whole way home in the cab. I was so angry with myself for being such a wuss. I was so stupid, such a stupid, cheap whore. I couldn't believe I'd gone out in such a desperate search for sex. I couldn't function properly anymore, I was useless. I couldn't even get out of bed. I was always tired and I never had any appetite, I was losing weight fast.

I stumbled into my empty flat, my head absolutely spinning. Lately I hadn't been myself. I fought so hard to get that university place, to persuade my parents to let me come to London. I loved what I was doing, usually I was so desperate to prove to everyone that I could do it, that shy little Anna Ahearn could become a lawyer. I was always so determined to prove I wasn't a pushover, determined to be independent...

I hadn't been to uni for weeks or my job at the Spar down the road. I didn't want to anymore. All my drive had left me. I had nothing left. It felt like Erica had stolen my soul, but as much as I hated her for leaving me I would do anything to have her back. No one else could fill the empty hole I had inside.

I was sick of feeling like this but there was only one way to make it stop. Every night I wobbled between thinking about nothing else and trying not to think about it. It had been on my mind since a few hours after Erica left Roz's. I kept trying to make it go away but it always came back. I wasn't going to spend the rest of my life feeling like I had done for the past three weeks.

If my family ever found out about me being a lesbian I would disowned instantly. I would lose all of my oldest friends who had gone to school with me. I had been brought up to be religious and was always surrounded by religious people. If I came out they would be so ashamed and I would have no one left.

I had fought so hard for my place at uni. Cambridge wasn't easy to get into and even harder without the support of one's family. When I came to London I was so full of ambition and had been for the past few years. I loved what I was doing; I wouldn't give it up for the world but in the past few weeks everything had changed. I hadn't been to uni since before the Halloween break; I usually never missed a day. I just didn't care anymore. It had taken years for me to build my life but only weeks for it to come crashing down. I couldn't do it anymore.

Solemnly I tied up my hair and wiped away my tears. 'It would all be over soon,' I told myself as I reapplied my make up. I managed to cover the bags under my eyes and my blotchy skin from crying. I changed into a pair of leggings and my favourite dress. I was going to make it all better now.

At moments late in the evening over the last few weeks I had begun planning my solution. I found my flatmate Lily's medication for her insomnia. I made sure, the bottle of vodka we kept for making cocktails was at least half-full and began to keep a pen and some post-it-notes in the drawer beside my bed, just in case.

Narcotics would be the simplest way. I methodically popped a month's supply of pills from the packaging and poured myself a glass of vodka. I felt more at ease than I remembered it was possible to be. I painstakingly swallowed the tablets one by one. Not a single doubt crossed my mind.

On the note I wrote,

I'm sorry about the fuss but it's the best way for everyone.

Anna x

I put all the things away and went to my bedroom. I stuck the note to the beside-table and lay on the bed. I had hoped so many times over the past few weeks that I would just fall asleep and never wake up again. Now it was really going to happen.

I closed my eyes and breathed a sigh of relief; I could stop trying to plough on now. I wouldn't ever have to face tomorrow...