Stripped Naked at the Church Sale
By Sabrina
Chapter 1
Keira looked up and down the street, she was told the Old Church Hall was down Patterson Street, but she had walked up and down this road twice and nothing looked like a Church Hall or even a Church. She was feeling depressed, nothing in the town seemed to be where people told her, either that or people didn't like her, and she was being thwarted at every point to do anything.
She had moved into the town almost five months ago when she'd decided to take a position in the firm and that required her to move from her hometown. Since her divorce had been finalised, she'd had no reason to stay back there and decided to make the move and find new friends. All her so-called friends seemed to vanish once she was a single woman again and as for the friends her and her husband shared, well, they had backed away pretty quickly. It had been him that couldn't keep it in his trousers, but she was treated like the leper, suddenly all the happy families acted like she was some woman on a mission and was going to fuck every single one of their men.
She had been lonely back in the old place, but now she has moved she is no better. Five months and she had not met anyone she could call a true friend.
Her neighbour who was one of the few people she had talked to outside of work, had suggested that she should go to the local church with her, and she had been nice, she was nice Keira corrected herself as she thought. She could have been a friend if she would simply not talk so bloody much. She never shut up. Keira had invited her in for coffee one Saturday morning and two hours later she almost had to throw her out of her house, she would not leave and would not shut the fuck up.
To get her out of the house she agreed that she would go to the church with her, she would have agreed to anything if it would relieve her of her voice.
She wasn't a religious person, didn't believe in an almighty god who just looked down and fucked up as many lives as he could. Oh yes, he was a man, he had to be. Nobody except a man could screw so many things up and still expect to be worshipped.
Anyway, she had proof that God was a man. If you read the bible, she wanted to tell her neighbour when she had rattled on about the church, God had made it ok for a man to have several wives. Why, she thought, a man can't satisfy one woman let alone several? It should have been one woman having several husbands, at least then she would have a chance of getting an orgasm once in a blue moon.
She had done what she promised and on the next day she was taken to church. She was quite pleased she hadn't burst into flames when she stepped through the doorway, however after an hour of the service and the preacher prattling on, she wished she had.
After the formality of the self-opinionated dick head spouting his rhetoric that was as old as it was sexist, her neighbour had introduced her to the oldest women she had ever seen. Keira did like the idea that she herself was the youngest in the room even if she was in her early forties.
She sat all nice and correct as she sipped tea and listened to the pointless chatter. It was suggested that she could help at the jumble sale the next weekend as there was never enough helpers. As the inane chatter continued, she felt that she had two ways of getting out of the church, one was to gouge her eyes out with a blunt spoon in front of them all, and the other way was to say yes and condemn herself to a day of sorting old clothes and watch old women fighting whilst they try to snaffle the best items on offer.
It had turned out worse than that, in fact she had been volunteered to help on two days, the day before to set up the room and then again on the day.
That had brought her to today why she was now searching in vain for a room that didn't seem to exist. She was thinking about calling off the search when she saw an elderly lady walking down the street.
She thought about asking her, after all no one could live to the age she appeared to be without knowing where the odd church was. The old lady seemed happy that someone had acknowledged her existence and she pondered with her finger on her lips at Keira's question. Suddenly she seemed to spring back to life as if behind her back someone had replaced her nine-volt battery and the old lady took the time to walk her to the telephone exchange building and then down the side of that building to a structure that looked like it had been condemned in the last century.
The old lady pointed it out and then began telling her about the last time she had been in that building. Keira stood bemused at her anecdote and let her finish, finally she said thank you to the old lady, and she set off on her way happy she had helped someone and had the chance to talk to someone. Keira now imagined she was jotting that down in her notebook ready to give to St Peter when finally, she would be stood at the pearly gates, and he asked her to prove why she should get into heaven.
Keira saw the advertisement for the jumble sale and wondered what the point of the sign was, as you had to know something was happening to even go to this building. She tried the door, but it was locked, she could see the lights were on so she knocked politely and expected a long wait as some old girl would take ages to get to reach the door and then probably fumble about looking for the key.
A few moments later a woman about her own age opened the door and said, 'hello, you must be Keira'.
Keira smiled and after confirming it was indeed her, she entered the room.
Once inside the room the woman locked the door and turned back to her. She smiled as she spoke, 'sorry about the security but we've had incidents of some of the old ladies trying to get in to the building early to get a look at the jumble before anyone else can'.
Keira wondered if she was joking, 'really?'
'Seriously, they will really try anything, that is one of the reasons I normally have to do this on my own as none of the congregation want to be accused of going through the stuff early and risking the wrath of the predators'.
The woman paused as if to wait for a response but then spoke again quickly, 'where are my manners, I'm Terri'.
Keira smiled, 'nice to meet you, I guess you are one of the congregation who doesn't mind being accused'.
'No, I'm Gordon Thomas' wife, he is one of the local lay preachers'.
'A sort of vicar's wife then', Keira said.
Terri smiled again, 'I suppose, sort of, with the church not having as many full-time ministers anymore we are more reliant on lay preachers and so my husband works virtually every Sunday and takes other ministerial tasks as well, and to help the church out even more, here I am'.
'So, is it just the two of us?'
Terri held her arms out and looked around the room, 'you, me and about fifty bags of clothes to sort out'.
Keira looked around, 'and here comes the bad news', Keira said, 'I have never done anything like this before so you will have to tell me what to do'.
Terri started to walk back to one of the tables, 'no worries, it is easy. If you tip a bag onto the tables and go through what is inside. I generally put coats and any long dresses on these hangers and put them on that rail there. All other clothes go on the tables, jumpers here, skirts there, other tops there, cardigans there and if you get any shoes put them on the table over there. And that is all there is to it'.
Keira walked over to a table and tipped a bag. The first item was a handbag and she felt bad, but she had to ask the first of what she expected would be many questions.
Terri was kind and patient and kept steering her in the right direction.
They chatted as they worked and Keira found that she liked this Terri woman, she had a good sense of humour, and they spent a lot of time laughing.
After a while Keira had noticed that Terri kept adding an item or two onto a table behind herself. She kept watching and eventually she felt she had to ask.
Terri blushed a little as she spoke, 'err, you might have caught me. When I go through the clothes sometimes there are some nice bits and I save them for later. I go through them and if there is anything that I really fancy I put under another pile and then pick them up when the sale starts. Have you seen anything that you thought was nice?'
Keira looked seriously at Terri, 'I don't believe it, you've broken the jumble sale code, you will never go to heaven you know'.
Terri smiled broadly, 'I better do after helping at all these church functions, trust me if not I will be kicking up one hell of a fuss, so much so, that Peter bloke won't know what's hit him'.
Keira and Terri laughed again before Keira spoke again, 'actually I did see a couple of things, there is a skirt here that is lovely and there's a fluffy dressing gown which has a shop tag still on it'.
Terri moved over to Keira, 'show me'.
Keira found them and passed them to Terri.
'That skirt is nice, put it on this pile here and we shall have a look later'.
Keira looked at Terri, 'hang on that is mine, I saw it first, give me it back', and she made a fun attempt to get it back.
Both girls laughed as Terri ran back to the table with Keira running after her. When Terri had almost reached the table, she pushed the skirt up her jumper and turned away from Keira. Keira caught up to her and put her arms around her and whilst Terri tried to hold her jumper down, Keira tried to retrieve the clothing. Keira was stronger than Terri and as they play fought, she put her hand up her jumper and felt for the hidden item. Terri continued to twist and turn to keep Keira at bay, as she laughed out loud. Keira was also laughing as her hand fumbled until she gripped Terri's breast. Her hand closed around the bra, and she could feel the mound of flesh beneath. Keira broke and removed her hand.
'Sorry, I was, er, I think I missed the skirt'.
Terri was still laughing, 'It's all right we're all girls, but it was a good attempt to get it so here you go, you can start your own pile to try on'.
Keira took the skirt and placed it on the table at the side of Terri's hoard.
A few moments later Keira looked over at Terri as she continued to work, 'I really am sorry about, you know, touching you when I was trying to get the skirt, I really didn't mean to'.
She wanted to say more but she didn't really know what to say.
Terri never let the smile leave her lips as she listened to Kiera's apology and then walked closer to her, 'don't be silly, we were only playing, to be honest I don't think I've had so much fun getting any of the functions ready, so please, don't worry'.
It took longer than Keira thought it would but eventually all the bags were empty, and clothes were sorted accordingly.
Keira looked around, she was sure there must be so much to prepare and so she asked, 'what now?'
Terri reached inside a bag and brought out a flask, time for a coffee, I knew you were coming so I brought you a cup if you fancy some'.
Keira breathed a sigh of relief, 'that would be great, I am so looking forward to that'.
'And if you keep it to yourself, I will confess that I also brought a couple of pieces of cake'.
Keira watched as she brought out package wrapped in tin foil, 'you baked this yourself?'
'Yes, I bake a lot for the church, it's one of my talents'.
Keira laughed and said, 'will you marry me?'
Terry put her hands on her hips as she looked at her, 'you would sell your soul for cake would you?'
Keira looked at the two large pieces as they had been unfurled from the silver foil, 'darling I would sell my soul for biscuits if they were chocolate'.
Terry laughed, 'you're a girl after my own heart'.
The two women sat down and enjoyed the coffee and cake Terri had brought whilst finding even more to laugh about.
After they had finished their drink Terri stood up, 'now time to try on our goodies'.
Keira looked at her watch, 'do we have time, when do we have to be out of here?'
'We have a bit of time yet, I have the key and when I was doing this on my own, I could be here until late, Gordon never knows what time I get it. Anyway, come in here, I use this room to try my stuff on as it's a bit more private, not that anyone can come in when the door is bolted.
Keira followed Terri, picked up her findings and went into the small room at the back of the hall.
