She tells me to come into office to talk about the account we'd lost. I know which account, and I know this is probably going to be unpleasant, because we'd lost it, and she's angry, and it's all probably my fault.
I'm expecting to be fired, or given a warning, or told this is going on some kind of permanent file.
Instead, she tells me to come over and stand beside her.
Unsure why, I do.
Closer, she says. I move closer. And still closer, she says, and I move again.
I'm standing right beside her, and she reaches out and takes my hand and pulls me forwards, so I overbalance.
I overbalance because I have heels, nice heels, because I don't want to be so sensibly dressed at work that I don't feel good about myself.
The heels really don't help me right now.
She tugs, and I overbalance, surprised, unsure what's happening. I put my hand on her chair arm, to catch myself, so I don't fall right to the floor. I catch myself, and she keeps pulling. She pulls me onto her lap.
She pulls me, and I let her. I don't entirely know why, because this is a very odd thing to be doing. I let her because part of me wants to be there, on her lap, I think. I let her because this is all so odd that I want to find out what she's doing.
I know what she's doing, of course, but I let her do it all the same.
I let her pull me over onto herself, pull until I'm lying over her lap, and as she does, when she does, her of all the people who might do this to me, it feels like a perfectly normal thing to be doing. It feels like the right thing to do. I lie there, holding myself as best I can so I don't end up slipping, one of my hands on the edge of her desk and the other on the arm of her chair.
I lie there, still, unsure what's going to happen next. She seems to be looking at me, as I lie there.