"Jolene Stiles, sometimes I think you're the devils spawn." My mama yelled at me.
I was sitting on the bare wood of my bedroom floor hugging my knees and trying my best to look shamefaced. Truth was, I didn't feel shame at all.
"Your Daddy's gonna beat the livin tar outta you." She blasted in my face.
"Mama, I'm eighteen, what right does Daddy have to beat me." I shot back defiantly.
"The Bible gives him the right Jolene! You are a sinner committin unnatural acts! She roared at full volume.
It didn't feel unnatural to me. It felt downright natural and good. Mama kept right on yelling but I felt no sorrow, no shame and no regret for what I had done with Missy.
Missy and me were friends since grade school. But, we got real close the night of Scooter Evans graduation party. All of us went skinny dipping down at Taylor's Creek. It was so hot that you could've fried an egg on a rock, even in the dark.
Scooter passed around some of his Daddy's moonshine and pretty soon we were all drunk. Well, clothes went flying everywhere and the boys wanted to get chummy with us girls.
But, I had my eye on Missy. She was wearin a cotton sundress with a low neckline and had some big ass titties for a girl of eighteen.
Missy knew I was hankering to touch them mighty swells on her chest and took her sweet ole time taking her britches off. I was flat chested and could easily pass for one of the boys.
All of us were in the water messing around when Missy swam up to me sticking her chest out all proud like a peacock. I didn't want do anything in front of the others, so Missy told me to follow her to the barn.
I followed Missy and watched her big butt moving and swaying. In the barn, she lay back on a fresh pile of straw and her boobs was pointin towards the sky.
I landed on top of her and my hands squeezed her mighty mountains. Missy oohed and ahed like it was the best thing since sliced bread. After a piece she said,
"Ain't yah gonna suck em Jolene?"
I was a sucking fool that night. Missy hooted and yelled like a cowboy chasing steers in a stampede. She was so excited she pushed my head down to her pee hole.
"Come on Jolene, get a lickin girl, it's good eatin!" She cackled like a horny hen.
Now I never tasted a girl before and damn if Missy wasn't right, it was better than hot grits on a cold morning. I licked her until my tongue was sore and she was dripping and runny like a busted faucet.
"Swaller it down Jolene." She yelled at me.
I did what Missy asked and swallowed. It was strong tasting like good moonshine but a heap more satisfying.
Missy knew I would lick her any darn time she wanted me to and sure enough, my face was in her hairy crack almost regular.
I was scared to death of getting caught because mama and daddy were righteous Baptist Christian's. Daddy quoted the bible every chance he got and I swear his true calling was as a minister of the faith and not a poor farmer.
Missy's sister ratted on us the first time and daddy gave me a good whooping but the second time he hit me until I passed out.
For a long time I thought about why I liked girls, especially Missy, and not boys. I figured it was how God wanted me to be and there was nothing unnatural about it, no matter how much daddy said it was wrong.
So there I was, caught for the third time scared out of my wits.
"Three strikes and yer out!" Daddy screamed at me the last time.
I wasn't sure if daddy would throw me out of the house or kill me but I wasn't gonna stick around and find out. Mama was downstairs getting supper ready when I threw all my belongings in a small suitcase and out the window I went.
I ran all the way to Barrow's Lane and stopped. The sweat was pouring off me and the handle on my suitcase broke from shaking it as I ran. With the bag under my arm, I walked trying to catch my breath.
I wasn't sure were I was going but I was powerful thirsty from running. The sun was low on the horizon when I saw a farmhouse up ahead about a half mile or so and headed straight for it.
The name on the mailbox was familiar so I walked down the lane to the backdoor and knocked. Ruthie Smalls answered the door.
"Jolene! What in God's name are y'all doin here?" She asked with a shocked look on her face.
I was so tired and thirsty that my legs gave out and I sat on the ground. Ruthie ran inside and came back with a big glass of water. Her mama was standing in the doorway lookin at me as I drank the glass dry.
"Ruthie, who's this girl?" She asked suspiciously.
"It's Jolene Stiles mama." Ruthie said as though she didn't believe her eyes.
"You hungry child?" Ruthie's mama asked me.
"Yes Mrs. Smalls." I said in a weary voice.
While Ruthie's mama went to fetch me a plate of food, she helped me over to a small picnic table.
