Tracy pulled her coat tighter around herself as the taxi drove away with its tyres crunching on the gravel pathway. It took just a second to orientate herself and then she moved quietly and purposely through the headstones, following the same route as she walked every week until she stood in front of one particular headstone.
Staring down she read the words out loud as she always did, "Stuart Eddis, 1967 - 2020, loving Husband and devoted Father, your laughter lit up the world, you were taken from us too soon."
Kneeling Tracy pulled the old flowers away and replaced them with the bunch of his favourite red carnations and wiped the headstone clean with a crumpled tissue from her pocket.
"It's cold and miserable today Stu and I wish you were here to cheer me with your laughter but that is not to be. I just wanted to tell you that I will never forget you and anyone who becomes part of my life will have to accept that you will always be part of mine, but I think it's time I moved on with my life." Tracy paused for a moment almost as she expected Stuart to respond from beyond the grave then went on, "there will never be another man in my life, you will always be the one for me, but there is someone I would like to try to be happy with and I hope I have your blessing wherever you are."
Tracy lowered her voice, "I never told you all the truth about Victoria at University, she never forced herself on me, if anything it was the other way round."
Tracy stood and looked around, at first glance the cemetery seemed deserted, but in the near distance a figure was hunched over a grave and something inside Tracy told her who that was. Standing she brushed the damp grass off her knees and began to thread her way towards the kneeling figure. As she made her way to the kneeling woman she whispered back towards the gravestone, "I have always loved you and always will, but I have to explore this side of me."
As Tracy approached, she could hear the woman sobbing and looking past and over her shoulder, she read the headstone silently, "Joanne Wilkins, aged 29, taken from me too early."
"Rebecca?" Tracy said softly and the woman turned her head quickly trying to wipe the tears away from her face as she saw Tracy.
"Tracy, oh my God what are you doing here?" The words dying in her throat as it registered why Tracy would be here and she mumbled, "I'm sorry ..." her words trailing off.
Tracy smiled as she knelt next to Rebecca, taking hold of her hand and looking into her eyes. "Rebecca you awoke something in me that I thought was never there, but it was and always has been." Rebecca looked a little confused and Tracy went on, "I have always known no man would ever replace my Stuart and that made me sad until you helped me realise that future happiness lies with another woman."
Rebecca opened her mouth to protest but Tracy held her finger to Rebecca's lips, "I am not asking you to marry me or move in together, but I am asking you to take me to bed. I dreamt of you last night and I want that dream to become true. Please educate me and help me understand."
Rebeccas wanted to scream at the top of her voice that she wasn't worthy, that it was her fault that her partner lay in a cold grave, that all she was fit for was to be used a lump of meat by whoever saw fit to use her. Instead, what she saw in front of her was Joanne's face, a second chance, an opportunity to make right the wrongs, to start again.
Rebecca cupped Tracy's face in her hands and stared into her eyes before gently kissing her on the lips whispering, "thank you, I will try to never let you down."
For Tracy, it was like an electric shock had passed through her body via the soft lips caressing hers. Her nipples hardened, not because of the cold and she could feel herself getting wet as she returned the kiss with a passion that even shocked Rebecca. Their tongues danced like snakes passing between the open lips until finally Rebecca broke the kiss and panted. "I can never be your therapist."
Tracy laughed, "I don't need therapy any more I have you and that is all I need."
The pair walked together, almost hand in hand but not quite touching until they reached Rebecca's car in the visitor's car park where they stopped before they got in.
They kissed again not caring who saw before they broke the kiss as Rebecca panted, "Are you sure?"
Tracey nodded in reply like a timid deer caught in car headlights and climbed silently into the passenger's seat.
Rebecca had to exercise every ounce of self-control not to speed the short distance from the cemetery to her flat and as soon as they arrived, they rushed to the lift then had to wait with growing impatience for it to arrive. As the steel doors closed, Rebecca stabbed 5, trying to contain her growing impatience and lust, wanting to tear the clothes from Tracy's body and ravish every inch of her. She could feel her nipples harden under her silk blouse and it felt like her panties were soaked through. She almost screamed with frustration as she dropped the keys to her flat in her haste to open the door and once inside turned to Tracy with the full intention of tearing her clothes from her body.
It was that look of vulnerability that made Rebecca stop and swallow back her lust, this wasn't a woman experienced in the ways of the lesbian world, this was a timid creature who wanted to take the next step but was unsure what to do.
"We don't have to," said Rebecca softly, "We can still just be friends if you want."
Tracy looked downcast for a moment and then looked at Rebecca with eyes that were filled with tears, "I just don't want to disappoint you." then paused before she went on, "I don't know what to do."
"Just relax and let me help," said Rebecca, "Do what comes naturally, do what you enjoy." With those words, Rebecca slipped Tracy's coat from her shoulders and kissed her gently. Tracy returned the kiss with growing passion as the pair stood in the hallway running their hands over each other's bodies but not touching any truly intimate areas.
Breaking the kiss Rebecca said softly, "We should go to the bedroom, it will be more comfortable."
