She would occasionally text back to her children after a missed call that she was still there but just did not want to talk. Abigail, who lived closest and being the oldest felt it was her job to try to boost her mother's spirits. Unfortunately, the conversation the night of the funeral had not gone well for her and her mother. While Abigail knew she should have been supportive for her mother, it was a difficult day to start out and the whopper of a story her mother had to tell her sisters and her was a whole lot to take in.
Abigail enlisted the help of Megan Sims who had been so helpful to her mother and the whole family during that most difficult of times. Megan figured she would bump into Carol at the food store but she never was there. Megan did a little snooping and found out that Carol was getting her groceries delivered straight to the house.
Megan was able to find out the next delivery date and she waited in her car at Carol's house. She watched the delivery be made and the saw Carol open her front door to bring in the groceries. When Carol went in with the first bags, Megan quickly ran up and grabbed the other two and carried them into the house and waited at the door.
When Carol came to get the rest of the bags Megan held them out and said "I never got a chance to thank you for having me take Jessica to the "airport." The reason for her affect on the last word was that although Carol had asked Megan to take the young woman to the airport, Jessica really needed to go to the hotel next to the airport, her flight back home being the next day. Megan was pretty sure that Carol had done this specifically so that Megan and Jessica would get a chance to get to know each other far more intimately. They did.
For the first time in a while something resembling a smile came to Carol's lips as she realized her plan had been a success. She said "I didn't know if anything would happen but I knew there was a chance it might. I felt like there needed to be some happiness in the world even if I wasn't going to have anymore."
Megan put the bags down on the living room floor and quickly crossed the room and wrapped Carol in her arms. For a second Carol was shocked as she thought Megan was making a sexual advance as the two had been intimate previously. But Megan's words quickly showed this was not the case.
"Oh you poor dear. Don't say that. This is truly tragic and you have every right to grieve but you can't think that way."
"Megan I've tried to think about the good things, but it's like a tide I am swimming against. I fight against it with the good thoughts but the bad ones keep pulling me further out to sea."
Megan looked at her and said "I said I hadn't thanked you yet and now I think I know exactly how I can." She took Carol's hand and walked her over to the couch and sat down bringing Carol next to her sitting on the couch. Again Carol had a thought of something sexual but when she looked back at Megan what she saw seemed like anger.
And with that Megan started yelling "
Now look here Carol Rogers. Life had given you a tough nut here and no one blames you for taking it hard. I'm sure you had plans with Paul and now they have been taken away and that is tragically sad. But you can't tell me that Paul would have wanted you to stop living altogether. You have children and grandchildren and a whole host of people who love you and care for you and are worried about you."
"We've all been worried sick over how you have been acting lately. So you owe it to yourself, you owe it to Paul's memory and quite frankly you owe it to the rest of us to get on with your life. I'm not saying forget it or get over it. I know that might never happen. But you need to get back to living if for no other reason than the rest of us can finally stop worrying and get on with our lives."
"I am sorry if this seems harsh but the best way I could think to repay you right now is with some tough love. Snap out of it!
"
Megan got up from the couch. Walking very purposefully and not looking back at Carol, she went to the packages on the floor, brought them to the kitchen and then walked back through the living room to the front door. When she opened it, she finally turned back and looked at Carol sitting right where she had left her looking like a block of stone. Megan said "You used to be an athlete yourself, right? So get back in the game Carol!" And with that Megan walked out the door and slammed it behind her.
Carol sat there for almost a full minute in total shock, unmoving. Then the tears came in buckets. She cried and cried for how long she was not even sure. But when she had finished crying, the words that Megan had said began to bounce around in her head. Her friend had been right. There was no doubt that her life without Paul would be diminished, but it was not over. She still had people who loved her and needed her to be around and alive. She felt pretty sure she would always feel some of the hurt of losing Paul, but she knew she had to "play through the pain" if she could continue Megan's athlete analogy. She had to get back to life.
The next day Abigail called with her own plan to try to get her mother out of this melancholy state of mind she was in. She was going to drive up and visit her Mom that evening because her Mother would probably screen a phone call. Carol and Abigail had gone to the same college and both had been star soccer players for the school. It was a small liberal arts Division III school (not like Katie's Division I powerhouse) but that experience had always been something that they had shared and was always very special to both of them.
It just so happened that the school was having a homecoming for all the old soccer players. There had been a long time soccer coach at the school. He had actually coached both Carol and Abigail. He had passed away a few years ago and the Women's Soccer Field was being renamed for him; the James R Shea Memorial Field. They wanted as many former players to come back for the ceremony.
Abigail was ready to work on her mother over this. Her mother's state of mind was already so low and the college was where her mother and father had met. She knew it was going to be tough but she had to get her out of the house and doing something before she wasted away. So Abigal went to the door ready to do battle with morose mother.
However, Abigail was unaware of the strong medicine that Megan Sims had given her Mom the day before. Abigail was pleasantly surprised to see her Mother in something almost resembling a good mood when she arrived. Abigail told her about the renaming of the field and the school wanting old players to come back for the ceremony, Carol was right on board with her. So she was going to go with Abigail to the field dedication and homecoming. Instead of a difficult night trying to convince her Mother to go, Abigail and Carol spent their evening reminiscing about their soccer days. Her Mother had cried a little but she quickly recovered.
Abigail originally figured she would sleep in Katie's room but her Mother did ask her to sleep with her. They got ready for bed and spent more time talking about their old soccer days until they fell asleep.
When the weekend for the dedication came, they got into their hotel room Friday night and dropped off to sleep almost right away. The next morning after breakfast, they went over to the college. As part of the weekend's festivities, the gym floor was filled with boards and tables containing pictures and other memorabilia from Jim Shea's 37 years of coaching the Women's Soccer Team. Things were laid out by year and they happened to come across Abigail's time on the team first. There were team pictures and game photos and articles in the school paper.
Eventually they got to Carol's years. As she was coming to one picture her immediate thought was why did they have a picture of Katie there when it struck her that it was a picture of herself, 21 years old and standing in her unform on the track by the fence in front of the bleachers. At that age. She did not realize just how much Katie resembled Carol her back then. She was looking up in the picture and as she followed her sightline, she saw a young man standing in the bleachers, leaning on the fence and talking to her. It was Paul. "I was always jealous of him."
Carol wheeled around and saw Elena Menescu. Elena was about an inch shorter than Carol. She had dark hair that came down to her shoulders. Her eyes were green but more of a grayer green than Carol's emerald green. She still had the stoic beauty of her Eastern European heritage and still had that wonderful smile that made Carol know exactly who she was. "Elena Mensescu, as I live and breath."
"Hello Carol McCafferty, or is it Carol Rogers?"
"As a matter of fact, it is Rogers. And this is my daughter Abigail although now she's Abigail Caffrey. She played here too. She even wore my old number."
"Hi I am Abigail but you can call me Abi."
"Hi Abi, I'm Elena. I was on the team with you Mom for a couple of years before she graduated."
"Oh, are you in this team picture?" The women looked at the Team Picture on the board and Abi said "here's my Mom."
Elena pointed right below and said, "There's me." In the picture Carol is sitting on the first row of seats in the middle of the group. A line of girls also sat cross-legged on the ground and sitting right in front of Carol was clearly a very young Elena.
Elena asked "So is Paul here?"
Abi froze and looked at her mother to make sure she did not break down right there. Carol's eyes did get watery, but she was able to say "No Elena. Paul died in that plane crash back in July."
"Oh dear God! Carol I am so sorry." Elena went and put her arms around Carol and Carol returned the hug.
"It was terrible and I've spent the last three months trying to hide out from the world. But I know that I can't stop living, even if it is going to be harder to do."
"I had no idea Carol. And Abi, you to. I am very sorry for you."
"Thank you Ms. Menescu." Abi said as she took her mom's hand and gave it a squeeze. She was glad to see that her mom was dealing with this difficult reminder of her sadness and grieve. She was sad, but this was sad. But she was not having it pull her back into the terrible state she had been in those first three months.
It was almost time for the game and so it was time to go over to the field. Now that her Mom clearly had someone to talk to and seemed happy, Abi felt she could brave some time with her own classmates and leave her Mother with Elena. She told them they could meet after the game for dinner.
The day was wonderful. At halftime they did the ceremony for the official naming of the field. They had all the former players stand for a round of applause. There was a second scoreboard at the end of the field that was draped and they pulled it away with a top in big letters saying "James R. Shea Memorial Field." They shut down the old scoreboard and lit up the new and set off fireworks. The whole crowd cheered.
When the game was over Abi found her Mother and Elena and they went to dinner. Abi had been celebrating a bit with her old teammates and so she was a little loose which caused her to ask a question she might not have otherwise asked. "Ms. Menescu?"
"Elena"
"Thanks, Elena. You said you were jealous of my Dad when you saw the picture at the gym. Why were you jealous?"
"Abi I am sure you know what a wonderful person your Mother is. I was a freshman when she was a junior. She was the best player on the team and co-captain. And freshman year can be tough. Your one of the best players on your team and you do great in school and you think you are pretty something. And then you come to college and the work is harder and the players are better and the girls are prettier and you really begin to doubt yourself. And your Mom kind of took us younger players under her wing. She made us feel confident about ourselves. And when I was finally ready to show her how much I had grown up thanks to her, she was always spending time with Paul. Don't get me wrong, she was an excellent teammate and a perfect Team Captain. We called her "CC" for Captain Carol."
"But when your dad came on the scene, she had to divide that time. But that is how life goes. She was like a mother bird and she made sure I could fly on my own, but eventually I had to leave the nest and she had other birds to attend to."
"I was just keeping on eye on you because I knew how good you were and once you realized it I knew I was going to be sitting on the bench." quipped Carol.
Abi noticed what looked like anger come into Elena's eyes as she turned on Carol quickly and said "You always did that! You always turned away compliments and accolades and self-depricated. Why! You were such a great player and you were smart and you were beautiful, but if anyone ever pointed it out, you always said something like that. It is the only thing about you I never understood and wished you hadn't done it."
Both Abi and Carol looked stunned and were speechless. Elena seemed to gather herself and said "I'm sorry. It's just I honestly did not like it when you did that back then and I guess it still bothers me now. It's like you don't even realize how wonderful you are."
Elena looked down at the table. Carol looked at Elena with tears in her eyes, but Abi was pretty sure these were not tears of sorrow and she said nothing.
"Elena." Carol looked at her and waited for the brunette to lift her head. When she did, Carol took Elena's hand into her own and said "I'm sorry. And thank you for those kind words. I guess I just always thought I was just Carol. So when people tried to tell me I was something more, I didn't know how to take it. I still don't."
Elena looked back and said "But that's just the point. You are just Carol but you have to realize just how amazing "just Carol" really is."
"I know that I know how amazing you are mom." added Abigail.
"Well thank you both very much. It is certainly nice to be appreciated."
When dinner was over Abigail told them that a bunch of her teammates were meeting at a club where there would be some dancing. Carol said she just wanted to go back to the hotel but Abigail and Elena dragged her along. Abigail had been so encouraged by how much fun her Mother was having and she was afraid Carol going back by herself would just lead her back to a sullen path. She would have gone back with her Mother to the hotel room, but she wanted to go out with friends she hadn't seen in years and enjoy an evening with no kids and no responsibilities. So Elena's presence was a godsend as she begged and pleaded with Carol to come out with them.
