When Alanna had gotten up this morning, the last thing she'd expected was to go on a date.
A lifetime of intimidated men cowering in fear whenever she drew close because of her six-feet tall frame and ripped body meant that, by now, she'd expected to remain in isolation till she was old and could afford several cats to keep her company.
Instead, she woke up to a text from a friend telling her that she'd apparently set her up on a blind date.
Alanna rolled back and forth on her bed, venting her frustration.
"Seriously, being sexless isn't the worst thing in the world. If anything, it's everyone else that's just too sex hungry." She muttered as she replied to the text.
Me: What?
That Bitch: I set you up! You'll love him, he's an athlete! ABS FOR DAYS.
Me: Not gonna lie, your seal of approval can be a little sketchy sometimes.
That Bitch: WHAT?
Me: Well, let's see. There was the guy with the clubbed foot, there was the nerdy dude who wouldn't stop sneezing, need I go on?
That Bitch: ............ Fair. BUT THIS ONE IS DIFFERENT sjbdhiaaSJBJ
Me: Don't go having a stroke. Fine, I'll go.
That Bitch: YAY, you won't regret it uwu
Me: Save your uwus for the boys, please.
With that last message, Alanna sighed and put her phone down on the bed. She stood and walked into the bathroom to get a good look at the girl that had made it to twenty-three years old and was still a virgin.
Six-feet four inches tall, a veritable eight pack from years of Tae-Kwon-Do training, and strong legs to go with them, packaged in light brown skin and long, straight blonde hair.
She cursed the day her Haitian dad decided to marry a Swedish woman and create this mess of a being.
"Well..." She whispered to herself. "I guess I should try it then. Might be my only shot at, uh, anything in the near future."
And that was how she ended up outside of a random restaurant she'd never been to, with a bad case of "what the fuck am I doing?"
Dressed in black leather pants and a black jacket, she breathed in deep before nodding to herself and walking in. Resisting the ever-building urge to sprint out the same door she'd just come through, she walked up to the front desk.
"Table for two."
"And the other person?"
"Supposed to meet them soon." Alanna explained.
"Oh, very well then. Right this way."
The man took her to a vacant spot to the left of the room and deposited her there, much like an animal being sent to the pound.
"Well, shit." Alanna sighed. "I guess I have to commit at this point."
She pulled her phone out and texted her friend.
Me: So, what's his name?
That Bitch: Jesse, you'll love him! From what I hear, he's got a few surprises lined up for you...................... uwu
Alanna glared at her screen and started to look around. Apparently, the boy was some kind of athlete. Considering how well she knew that crowd, she was sure she could identify him quickly.
No such luck. Everyone around was either waiting to have their root canals or probably having nightmares about their office jobs. "Guess I'll wait." Alanna thought and settled back.
Minutes rolled by and no one even remotely athletic appeared in view. She decided to take stock of the others there if anything to make the moment when someone else appeared a little more obvious. There was a middle-aged couple to the right, a businessman type to the back, and one lonely girl, much like her to the left.
Her eyes stayed on the girl for a moment. She looked incredibly out of place. With messy hair that didn't quite reach her shoulders, glasses, a pink hoodie, and an equally pink mini skirt, Alanna thought she was the kind of girl that belonged on TV, not in a dingy restaurant like this.
A waiter walked up to the girl.
"Good afternoon, are you ready to order?" It was so quiet that Alanna could hear the conversation.
"Y-Yeah." The girl's voice was sugary. "Uh, I'll have a martini and the turkey sandwich."
"Alcohol?" Alanna noted, "this early?"
"Alright then." The waiter smiled. "Your name?"
"Jesse."
Alanna's eyes snapped up.
"I will return with your drink in a moment."
"T-Thanks."
This had to be a joke. Alanna gawked at her. "Okay, okay. There's no way. It's just a coincidence. No way she's the one..."
"Why did I agree to this?" The girl complained to herself. With wide eyes, Alanna eavesdropped. "Blind dates are so weird."
"You're joking," Alanna said aloud. The girl must have heard her because she looked up and blushed.
"Sorry..." Jesse said louder. "Didn't know I was taking so loud."
Alanna made an executive decision. She stood and walked over to the girl's table, but before then, she broke it down in her mind. There were a few important facts to consider.
1. Her friend liked messing with her.
2. Blind dates were not a common thing, especially not in this day and age.
3. What were the odds that they would both have scheduled dates here at this time?
So, yeah. Her friend had set her up with a girl. The next step was simple. Apologize for the inconvenience, explain the joke, and send several angry faces her friend's way.
"Hey," she started, her voice sounding a little rougher than she'd intended. "Just to confirm, you're Jesse, right?"
"Y-Yeah..." The girl blushed even harder. "And you're..."
Alanna cut her off.
"Yeah." She nodded firmly.
"Oh..." Then, the girl did something Alanna didn't expect. She ran her eyes up and down Alanna's body.
"Oh, wait." She thought. She hadn't considered that maybe, although to her this was a joke, her friend may have pitched this seriously at Jesse. Which was downright cruel. She was going to have a stern talk with her after this.
"So, we're, uh..." Jesse was clearly struggling to put sentences together. Not that Alanna blamed her. "I haven't done this kind of thing before."
"Me neither, and, well, listen..." She started. "I didn't exactly know you'd be... I mean, I'm not..."
"Not what?"
