It's a cold and damp overcast day in late January. I'm standing on the concrete platform just outside of the train. Amtrak's Coast Starlight #14 is stopped in a little village in northern California named Dunsmuir. A quaint and sleepy little village nestled in a valley at the foot of Mt. Shasta. We're running very late; it's about 7:00 am, and we should have been here two hours ago. The conductor has announced that there will be a slight delay while the tracks ahead of us are being cleared, and gave us twenty minutes to step outside of the car if we needed a stretch.
I'm dreading getting back to Seattle and my nonexistent life. There's not much waiting for me there: empty apartment, boring job, superficial friendships, miserable rainy weather. I've been traveling here and there, whenever I could, looking for a place to make a fresh start. San Francisco was nice, if a bit pricey. I'm mulling over whether I want to make the move, when in the corner of my vision I see someone approach. Oh God, I hope they're not desperate for conversation. Right now I just want to be alone.
"Excuse me," the woman approaches. "Do you have a cigarette?"
"Ah, yes." I take the silver case from my back pocket and flip it open. "Is clove okay?" as I offer her one of my slender black cigarettes.
"Yeah, that'll work." I light the smoke for her. "Thanks."
I light one up for myself and we stand in silence, looking at the threatening western sky. I'm doubting that the delay will only be twenty minutes.
"That's not looking very good," she ventures.
"I think were going to be here for a while." We look over what we can see of the town, hoping against hope there'll be something to keep us busy during the indefinite delay we sense coming.
Our watches show that the twenty minutes is almost over. We get back on the train and back in our seats. She is in the same car, a few seats forward of me. We sit and wait and wait. It's been about thirty minutes now. The conductor finally announces that the delay is now more like three hours due to bad weather. Groans fill the train. The crew lets us get off again, advising that we need to be back by 10:00 am.
I get off and walk to the main street. Next to the train station is a shop called the
Brown Trout. It's a combination coffee shop, art gallery, and women's boutique. As I find a table, I see the woman I was speaking with earlier.
"Hey you!" I beckon her to join me. If I'm going to be stuck here, it might as well be with someone who doesn't annoy the hell out of me. "Looks like we were right about the delay."
"Unfortunately. Doesn't look like there's much to do in this town."
"Maybe the staff will let us stay, as long as we buy stuff. Let's start with some coffee."
"That would be lovely. I'm Leyna, by the way."
"Hi, I'm Marie. What would you like?" eyeing the lengthening line at the counter.
"Don't worry, I got it."
"You sure?"
"Thanks for the smoke!" she says over her shoulder, getting in line.
"Tall drip, please." Leyna comes back with our orders, and we slowly sip our coffee. We're going to have to make it last.
"So, what puts you on the slow train to hell?" Leyna wondered.
"I spent a week in San Francisco. Going back home now."
"How lovely! Bet you had a nice time."
"Yeah, a little. Just needed to get away from my life a little. Screwed up relationships, nothing better on the horizon, you know the deal."
"I feel that. Needed to take a break after dumping my latest so-called man. I was in Redding for a while, and had a great time. A little horseback riding, it's really beautiful."
"It really is - saw it on the way down from Seattle. Being out there alone with nature... it must have been just the thing to take you mind off of things."
"It was a start..." and from there we start trading our life stories, picking over the details of our failed relationships. The reasons are as innumerable as they are pathetic. But it's cathartic, it's good to unload. We're feeling a little better as we wrap up our stories.
"So what's the deal with your latest disaster, the one that sent you to California?" Leyna wondered. "How did he fuck this one up?"
"She, actually." A short pause.
"So does that mean that you're..."
"Gay? No, not quite!" I laugh. "I mean, I still like men, as friends or for a fling, but a relationship, that's obviously not gonna happen." Sigh. "So I thought I'd give women a try, before I join a nunnery." Pause for a moment -- it still hurts to think of my last girlfriend. "But she just... went away. Lost all contact and I have no idea why or what happened."
"Oh Marie... I'm so sorry to hear that." Leyna takes my hand. It comforts me a little, and I clasp her hand back.
"You gonna be okay?" Leyna's eyes are so expressive, her concern is unmistakable.
"Yeah... I will."
We sit in silence silent for a while, a bond forging from our misery. Glancing at the clock on the wall, it's nowhere near ten o'clock. Thanking Leyna again for the coffee, I excuse myself and take a long walk through the village.
At ten to ten, we're back in the train. Leyna moves her seat to be next to me. It'll be a few more hours until we get to Klamath Falls; we might as well be together for what time we have left. Ten, fifteen, twenty minutes go by. We're still not moving. There's an extremely bad vibe in the train -- the air is crackling with resentment. People are tense and angry, brats are screaming and running up and down the aisle.
Finally an announcement comes. Our worst fears are confirmed; there'll be an indefinite delay. The other passengers erupt with anger.