When you grow up in a tiny conservative town, the only girls who had sex were the sluts, and the ones who were "in love". When I was in High School, I was neither one of those. That's not to say that I didn't get close a few times, but something would never let my boyfriend get past 3rd base.
I grew up in a very strict religious household. We went to church every Sunday, I went to youth group once a week, bible study once a week, and went to a young women's group every other week. Until I was 15 or so, it was just part of who I was, and I never questioned it. I enjoyed taking part in all of these activities with my peers, and I was a very good girl.
I only started to question things when I turned 16 and the talk between all of the girls was only about marriage and children. They all had exactly the same plan: Graduate high school, go to college, meet the man of their dreams, graduate college, get married, have children and be wives and mothers the rest of their lives. It made no sense to me why they would want to go to college simply to meet a man and stay home taking care of all of their children. But I played along, spouting the same rhetoric as the rest of them, but I knew in the back of my mind that was not the life for me.
I did graduate at the top of my class, but instead of following all the hens to the local school, I went across state and enrolled in a much larger university.
My first year in school was an absolute nightmare to me. The school was much more diverse than I was used to, and being around all of those other people who didn't hold the same values that were instilled in me was quite the culture shock. I spent most of my time in my dorm room studying, and only rarely went out with my roommate when she literally had to pull me out. I hated it, and was plotting my excuse to leave.
I knew that my parents would be more than thrilled to have me follow the path of the righteous and go to the local future wives club college just up the road. And I also knew that telling them that the big city college was filled with fornicators, alcoholics, drug pushers and atheists would be more than enough reason to let me drop out. I had made up my mind that when it got to be late in the summer, before it was time to go back, I would spring it all on them.
I went back home that summer to find out really how small it was. Although I didn't spend much time carousing with my fellow classmates across the state, that I was still immersed in that huge melting pot of different cultures. It has changed me, just a little.
I started seeing just how narrow minded everyone was. Two of my classmates had already found the men of their dreams and had already gotten married. Another 5 of them were engaged, and there was only a handful of them who didn't have serious men in their lives. My eyes were really open for the first time. I started seeing the moms of my friends differently even. They were just the grown up versions of what their daughters were striving to be. They were all moms when they were young, married to men that they obviously didn't get along with, and completely miserable. But that was what we were all told to be.
When I went back to school in the fall, I was going to experience college and all it had to offer, while still staying within my core of ideals. I wasn't going to drink, I was still going to save myself for marriage, I wasn't going to do drugs or go to parties where that was happening................I am still who I am.
My first day in school I found the group of friends that are still very close to me now 8 years later. We were inseparable, and I guess that is why I succumbed to peer pressure for the first time. 4 girls with different backgrounds are going to find ways to stay cohesive, and with us, it was getting the others to try something they never had before.
I was the only one who had never drank, done drugs, had sex, etc. They all took it as their mission in life to get me to do those things. I never felt actual pressure from the group, and I know at any time I could have said no, but I didn't. It was with them the first time I got drunk (I puked in a trashcan next to my bed for 2 hours), the first time I got high ( I fell asleep on a strangers couch with a bag of bread in my lap), and the first time I had sex.
His name was Barry, or Brian or Buddy or something. It doesn't matter because I was fucking miserable. I had grown quite fond of drinking now, and it was at a party where I met "B". We was charming, handsome and the one who happened to be there when I finally got the urge to fuck. We went upstairs to a bedroom where he pawned all over me for 5 minutes before fumbling with his condom for another five, to finally get his tiny little prick inside me. All I can remember was tasting the cigarette smoke and beer on his mouth, and the way he grunted and groaned for every bit of 30 seconds before rolling off of me out of breath. I went in to the bathroom and puked.
I never smoked pot again, but I did continue to drink socially with my friends. I was still getting good grades, and I really was having the time of my life. One of the group, Megan, worked at a hotel as a maid. One of the perks was that she could have a room any time the hotel wasn't full, and she had to clean it up after herself. We weren't allowed to throw parties in the room, but with the 4 of us together, it was always a party.
The hotel had a pool, and because it was at the end of the hotel, not near any rooms, we would swim and carry on until the wee hours of the morning. And during the stays when Megan could get us in to a suite, would all run back up to the room in our bathing suits and take a bath in the big jetted tub with an assload of bubbles. I bet we did that a dozen times, and never once did it ever take a sexual turn.