Foreword
I can't believe that it's three years since I opened my heart and described my first lesbian experience in that "Short and Sweet" confession of mine.
Yes, since I openly admitted having lesbian tendencies.
And my ass, listen to me!
Three years on and "tendencies" is a massive understatement. I'm in for the long haul. Guys haven't even had so much as a diplomatic brush off since I crossed the great divide.
No need for men across that divide, is there?
Well, I'm basically a polite person, so I haven't been really nasty about it. Not really. But three years of quite regular approaches have not received one hint of approval and absolutely zero encouragement.
And even less sexual contact.
Indeed I've endured no male-on-female contact whatever since my opening girl-on-girl extravaganza.
Let men all go wish, jerk off, or whatever.
Long as I'm not involved they can entertain themselves, each other or any woman they as like long as she's totally willing . . . and as long as she's not me.
I am, co-incidentally, Chrissie. Up until early 2017 I was straighter than straight. As a recent graduate in English Lit, I was pushing twenty-two, relatively innocent. Most of my course-mates fucked right, left and centre while I limited myself to just five guys over the three years out there in total freedom.
Five guys over three years! Some of my friends did five guys on a Friday night. Don't even ask about Saturdays . . .
We were, however, students. Many of us were openly LUG . . . "Lesbian Until Graduation" . . . while a whole lot more were just horny to the nth degree.
But not me on the LUG front; I never spared LUG as much as a single thought. I graduated with those five pubic scalps on my belt . . . all but one frequent returnees, and all male . . . then cheerfully moved on to the rest of my life.
And then, out of simply nowhere, I met Emerald Eyes . . .
*****
Think back to Teresa May's snap election . . . the one that went dramatically pear-shaped. I was out canvassing for my best mate's mum, who was standing as independent and looked millions of times better than the rest of the local candidates put together.
Okay, okay, the woman was beyond merely attractive, but she put her message across superbly. As a crappy no-hoper she saved her deposit and finished third, only a handful of votes behind Labour (as I probably said in my opening account, a scabby dog would have won our seat, just as long as it wore a blue rosette . . . yet Dani's mum wasn't far behind second place).
Yes, admittedly within one of the UK's weirdest ever election results, she finished the race closer than close.
Coughing politely, I hope my efforts had something to do with her success.
In fact I'm sure they did.
*****
Cutting to the chase, I'd been canvassing up Micklethwaite Lane, which was akin to canvassing in the Alps, or maybe even up Everest. Three years younger as I was at the time, my legs were complaining every step of the way.
My one beacon of hope was post-canvassing drinks in The Potting Shed. That shone brightly enough to keep one foot slogging after the other.
Dani's delicious mum was buying, for Goodness' sake; you bet the prospect shone.
And then, almost at the top of the mountain, on the very fringe of Ilkley Moor, outside a simply divine old farmhouse, I got attacked by a flock of guard geese.
Or should that be a gaggle of guard geese?
Call me pathetic but those geese were scary as heck. By a wing and a prayer I made it up into a tree and stayed there, trembling and shaking as the white tyrants stomped below like Stormtroopers, but infinitely more intimidating.
Adolf himself could have learned lessons from those not-so-little buggers. Think Nazi rallies meant to inspire fear of the obvious might of infinitely superior warriors . . .
Trust me, the toughest guy I know would have swooned at the sight of them. Seven of the bastards, all of them fully revved up, goose-stepping, ready to go.
Ready to kill any and all intruders . . . meaning the likes of me.
Up my tree!
Missing my drinks!!
Then, when life couldn't possibly get any worse, the heavens opened in an almost biblical way. Hardly any rain all winter, T-shirt weather in February . . . now safely into late May . . . and suddenly thunder was crashing, lightning was flashing and I was being deluged in the accompanying downpour.
The tree canopy gave me no shelter at all. There was a big gap overhead and, terrified of slipping and falling amongst those savage white shock troopers, I was stuck there in a most exposed position.
Miserable or what! At one stage I even considered jumping to a certain death, just to end the torment.
Salvation arrived in the shape of what I first thought was the farmer; then, upon hearing her voice, the farmer's wife. And then, when she sent away the geese and finally persuaded me to abandon my very wet perch, dropping into her welcoming arms, I discovered she was all woman.
Like wow; what a woman was she!
Read back on my earlier submission if you want intimate details, but I went from straight to very gay in a matter of moments. Emerald Eyes has that effect on a girl. I challenge anyone to hug her and not go a step or six further.
One catch, a comforting embrace . . . and I was avidly kissing her as if my life depended on it.
That's right; straighter than straight . . . and out of nowhere it was me making all the running.
There again, she was incredibly beautiful and very receptive, as well as the world's best kisser.
Vivid yellow waterproofed clothing or not!
By some black magic (matching her jet-black hair) we ended up in bed together, her on me, giving me a thorough servicing that was beyond belief.
No, she gave me perhaps twenty thorough servicings, each vastly exceeding the last.
(I've always been orgasmic by the way and had long known I could cum several times over maybe an hour or less. But . . . twenty . . . in no time at all! Omigod, how good was Emerald Eyes!! Every slight touch from her had me squealing in ecstasy.)
Then, after her oral master/mistress class and a prolonged strap-on feast, she offered me a drink.
At last!
She didn't skimp, either. Her gigantic glasses must each have held a bottle of chilled pinot.
Only then did I recognize her, as she re-entered the bedroom, as I should have done ages before.
She was Heather Hunter, the Deputy CEO at West Yorkshire Bank.
I'd just been fucked by my boss!
And not a mere line manageress; Heather was up there with gods and goddesses.
Hell, two more promotions and she'd be running the Bank of England!
Like an idiot, I told her I was a clerk at her worthy establishment.
Grinning at me, she said her motto was usually "Don't Screw the Crew". Then, grinning even more broadly, she added that screwing me had been decidedly naughty but great fun.
'Your turn next,' she went on. 'Fair's only fair, isn't it? Drink your drink and let's get on with what most matters.'
Speechless, not really knowing what a girl was supposed to do in such a situation, I slurped my vino.
Chapter One