*SLAM* and I knew Mandy was home from her date. But I wondered; why so early? I am partly answered when I hear "WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH HIM?! HOW DID I LET MYSELF FALL FOR THAT PILE OF SHIT?!" so I marked the page in my Environmental Design textbook that I'm reading and peek out to my grumpy roommate, pacing back and forth in the living room, her hands crumpling her hair on top of her head. "M, you ok?" I ask, very confused, stepping into the room. "You will never believe what happened!"
She goes on to tell me about how she was excited to the point that she was whistling this afternoon as she got ready for her date with new boyfriend Chaz. They've been dating for about a month now and he told her he wanted to do something special for their first month-iversary so he told her to wear something nice, adding that it wouldn't be hard for her (being the kiss I know from the few times I met him), and some cute comfy shoes, promising there wouldn't be hiking involved but some walking.
Chaz picked her up around 4:30 and took her to an outdoor film festival with an extra surprise of a light picnic basket pre-packed. After the fest, they left, and he took her to dinner at the new Italian place downtown (which is, of course, her favorite kind of food).
Apparently halfway through their entrees some woman barged in the restaurant making some big scene going on about how much she hates her soon-to-be ex-boyfriend. Essentially, she saw Chaz, exposed him at cheater, dumped his 'polygamist perverted ass', then told Mandy she's 'a new kind of stupid' if she didn't do the same.
Mandy said she waited for the first ex to storm out then stood up while Chaz was babbling on about something like 'Mandy she's crazy! We broke up already! You have to believe me!' She nodded some them threw her drink in his face and walked out on him also. The first girl had been nice enough to call two cabs when she left so there was a taxi waiting when Mandy stepped outside.
I decide that my roomie needs a good ol' night of guy bashing and she mentions that it should be kicked up a notch so we reach the conclusion that this needs to be a drinking game!
From the bottom drawer I pulled out two glasses while out of the fridge Mandy grabbed some vodka, Kahlua, and 7-up; having recently discovered a drink appropriately named 'Mind Eraser'.
We agreed to take a shot each time that she mentioned a reasonably bad quality of Chaz's and the last round number I legitimately remember is nine and unfortunately that's not when we chose to end the game...
A good number of additional ME shots later, Mandy spontaneously announces, "Oh my God! That's it! I need to get laid!"
With no idea what she's talking about I ask, "What are you talking about Manda?"
"Don't you see!" She says, slurred but enthusiastically, "Chazbert is still one of my friends on my website page so if I get a really lay tonight I can post it and he'd get so jealous!"
I think it over for a second or two then ask, "Can't you just make a post without having to get screwed by some weirdo?"
She considers my suggestion then says, "I don't think my post will be as good if I just try to make it up," and after a long pause, adds, "Why are you so sure the guy would be a weirdo?"
"Be serious Mandy, what kind of guys are still up around campus and would be ready for a booty call at this point?"
Her eyes move back and forth across the top of her eyelids as she reflects on the nocturnal population at our college then admits, "You're right about that one...However!"
"Please just tell me what your crazy idea is since I'm sure I'm somehow involved."
"What I was going to say issss...However! Who says it has to be a guy?"
Putting two and two together in my head; "Are you serious? You really think you can make your ex jealous by having lesbian sex with your non-lesbian roommate?"
"I won't use your name in the post! I won't even mention that I'm going to be with a girl! But let's be real; we both know I'm not good at just making things up! I really really need this to get back at him for what he did to me!"
She begs 'pleeeeease' with her hands clasped, bottom lip pouting, and those sweet puppy dog eyes so with the alcohol degrading the logical portion of my brain, I concede to her request on one condition; "I'm going to need to down plenty more of these babes before 'we' can happen. Why don't you go get everything ready and I'll meet you in there after I've had enough drinks,"