"Don't you ever get bored?"
I blinked in surprise, the unexpected question rousing me from my contemplative trance. Turning away from my computer, I glanced over my shoulder. My body followed the motion as my chair swiveled slowly to complete the action. Facing the open door to my study, I cocked my head to the side, quirking my eyebrows curiously at my bestie.
Annalise stood in the entrance, leaning against the doorway in her black tank top and red short shorts. One hand perched against the curve of her waist, her other arm was hidden behind the wall. Short and svelte, her body language and demeanor told me that my redheaded housemate was bored and looking for conversation.
"Of what?" I asked innocently. She pouted at me, snorting a short harrumph'd breath of annoyance through her nostrils as she frowned. The action was almost childlike but it somehow suited Annalise. I'd always thought she was cute.
"You know what I'm talking about." Moving fully into the doorframe now, I saw that she held an apple in her hand.
"Of writing?" I knew it wasn't the answer she was looking for, but she was fun to tease. I shrugged, "Nah, I have too many stories to write to ever get bored of it. Plus, if I stopped, I wouldn't be able to afford rent." I flashed her a sassy grin. "And that'd be just tragic."
She bit into her apple, rolling her eyes at me as she crunched away. "Not of writing," she said with her mouth full, chewing between syllables. "Not that you do very much of it anyway," she scoffed. "Half the time I see you, you're just staring off into space."
It was my turn to roll my eyes at her. Leaning back into my chair, I gestured as if my finger were a pointing stick, wagging it to punctuate each word. "Thinking happens before writing," I replied matter-of-factly.
"Pshh," she rolled her eyes back at me, this time more dramatically. We had silly competitions sometimes. Doesn't everyone? Seemed like today's theme was going to be eye rolling. I made a mental note to one up her later. "Anyway, that's not what I meant."
"Then what did you mean?" I knew what she meant. We'd talked about it plenty of times already. It was an uncommonly common topic that often popped up when we were drunk or high. Or rather, only ever popped up during those times. Until recently, in the last few months...
"I meant, don't you ever get bored of...y'know!" She gestured at me at my desk, sitting in front of my computer's double monitors. I stared blankly back at her, my expression a careful display of silent bemusement. Exasperated, she finally blurted out "Daydreaming!"
I clapped my hand over my heart dramatically, my body language a show of mock offense. "How dare you. I don't daydream. I build worlds! I create stories! I -"
"Constantly daydream about sex yet never get laid," she cut in sarcastically.
Ouch. She'd gone straight for it this time, poking right into the heart of things.
It was my turn to pout at her, though it was tinged with a slight scowl. I let my chair swivel back slightly so that my side was facing towards her as I turned slowly, each inch bringing me closer to facing my monitors again. "Well, if you have nothing nice to say to me then I guess this conversation is over." I waved her off dismissively. "I have a lot of work to do."
Annalise took this as an invitation to get comfortable. Still munching away, making steady progress snacking on her apple, she plopped herself onto the window seat across from me. Noticing this, I resigned myself to her company and turned so that I was once again staring at my current work-in-progress - a blank page. From the corner of my eye, I could see her pulling her legs up to sit cross-legged on the window seat.
"I mean it!" she continued where she'd left off, as if unaware of my response. She waved her half-eaten apple at me, gesturing with it as she spoke. "Don't you ever get bored of just writing about it? Like, seriously Cassidy. When's the last time you got laid?"
"Just last night," I replied dryly, still staring determinedly at my monitor as if words would suddenly start appearing across it. Masturbating counts as sex, right? It wasn't technically a lie.
"With an actual dick."
"Yep." That's what I call my vibrator, I thought to myself, sniggering silently at my own silliness. Actual Dick.
"Your vibrator does not count," she replied flatly, showing that she knew me far too well.
I made a face at her, it was time to admit defeat. But she wasn't done yet.
"See?!" The apple rose and fell as she waved her arm around in exasperation. "You can't even remember the last time you fucked someone!" I blew out my cheeks, pouting sullenly at my blank monitor. There was no stopping Annalise once she got started. She was honestly starting to sound like my mother.
"When was the last time you went on a date then?" She didn't even wait for me to reply. "You don't fucking know. It's been so long that you probably can't even remember the last time you got dressed for a night out."
I glanced down at myself quizzically. What was wrong with the clothes I was wearing? Sure, I perpetually wore baggy t-shirts as pajamas. Yes, I worked from home and usually rolled out of bed before plopping straight into my chair after my morning routine but...Okay, so I may have been wearing the same thing 24/7 for the past two weeks now but that's...that's normal for people who work from home, right?
Fine. Maybe Annalise had a valid point.
"What do you want, Annalise?" I turned to face her. "Why are you here?" I demanded, now feeling legitimately irate at the sudden critique of my sex life, or lack thereof. "Where exactly are you trying to go with this?" With each question, my tone grew a little more exasperated. I tried to pull back to a more neutral tone. I didn't want to sound like I was annoyed at her...even though I was; she could be rather annoying after all.
"I'm just say~ing..." she lilted placatingly, "that you need to get laid!" I glared daggers at her but she ignored them without blinking an eye and bulldozed on with her inquisition. "I mean, c'mon. Your poor neglected pussy deserves better! You need to go out there and just, I dunno, let loose a little!" She leaned back against the window, finishing off her apple while regarding me thoughtfully.
Picking up her previous thread, she continued as if uninterrupted. Annalise had a tendency to be all over the place sometimes. Constantly being distracted by a new thought, she'd sometimes stop in the middle of a conversation to suddenly veer a hard left and jump into an entirely new topic. But eventually she always circles back. "Anyway. For real. Don't you ever get bored of just writing about it? Like, don't you miss it? Experiencing the real thing? Se-ex~?" She smirked, wiggling her eyebrows while holding her hands up and waggling her fingers to motion invisible quotation marks when she said "sex".
"For those of us in the know, I'm talking about that good 'ol penis in vagina action." She mimed insertion with her hands before proceeding to exaggerate sucking on an invisible cock. I couldn't help but smirk a little, appreciating the show. "'Cus you know reality's better than your fantasies, right?"
"I dunnoo, my fantasies are pre-etty steamy," I replied jokingly. "You should read them sometime. I think you'd be surprised." It was hard to suppress my grin as I smirked at her.
She crinkled her nose delicately in distaste. "I've seen some of the shit you write, you sick perv. Noo thanks."
I gave a little snort, amused by her quick judgment. "I write more mainstream stuff too, y'know."
"Oh yeah? Like what?" She didn't look convinced. I didn't blame her. I took commissions and have definitely received my fair share of odd requests.
With a little shrug, I leaned back in my chair, swiveling it slightly from side to side as I replied. "Hmm, like regular light romance or just vanilla but rough sex. Believe it or not, sometimes I don't even write about sex."
She cut in. "Threesomes? Gangbangs? Orgies?" She counted each word out on her fingers. Obviously she had no interest in any of my PG writing.
"And you're calling me a pervert?" I laughed. "Someone's obviously got a fetish" My joke was effortlessly ignored. It didn't stop me from smirking at her, amused by the whole situation. "Yeah, I write all of that. Is that what you're craving? To be the star of a gangbang?" I knew she'd take my teasing in stride. Between the two of us, Annalise was definitely the bigger slut.
"You know it'd be a lie if I said no. That's like, every girl's fantasy. I'm sure we've all thought about it at least once." I nodded in agreement, I know I'd definitely visited those waters occasionally myself while masturbating.
My eyebrows quirked up with interest at her next question. "Do you ever write any girl on girl action?"
I couldn't help but be amused by her open curiosity. "Yep. I write about gay couples, lesbians, bisexuals..." Like Annalise just moments ago, I was also counting each word off on my fingers. I was about to start listing out different relationship dynamics when she cut in with her next question.