I have been married to a wonderful man for 27 years. Our youngest (of five children) finished school and left for College 8 months ago. I thought that my husband and I would really enjoy being 'empty-nesters.' Boy, how wrong I was! He just worked longer hours, leaving home before I was out of bed in the morning and not getting home until dinnertime. And it was a dinnertime that had been pushed back later and later.
I was frustrated, upset, even angry, but whenever I brought it up he just said that it was really busy at work and he was needed. I even thought he might be having an affair. When I spoke to a girlfriend she suggested I hire a private detective for a week or so to ease my mind.
So I did. After a week (an expensive week, I might add), nothing out of the ordinary turned up. So I paid for another week. Still nothing. I was getting nowhere fast so gave up on the surveillance. The PI that I hired gave me some tips on what to look out for, just in case, and said that if I wasn't sure and wanted to hire him again, he would give me a discount.
So I snooped. I looked at his emails, I listened to his phone calls, and I checked his cell phone. Nothing. I resigned myself to the fact that he just preferred being at work than being home with me. I thought I was still in fairly good shape. My figure was still enough to turn men's eyes when I wore the right type of clothes. I still weighed the same as the day I was married and my boobs, while a little saggy (surprise, surprise after 5 kids and just having turned 50) weren't as bad as many women younger than me.
After being married for so long this realisation hurt and I shed quite a few tears but I was unable to do anything more. I needed to get out of the house and do something so I enrolled in a photography course at our local Community House. I had been going for a few weeks when I saw the flyer for a weeklong seminar in our local Community House. I thought, "That looks exactly what I need." The title for the seminar was 'Spirituality, Sexuality and the Modern Woman.'
It was to be in a country retreat centre and would run from the Sunday evening until the following Saturday. The cost was quite steep but that was the least of my concerns. When I told my husband about it he agreed that I should go. He said it would do me good to do something for myself for a change.
That comment made me feel as if he knew what I was going through but maybe didn't have any idea what to do about it.
I was quite excited as the time for the seminar drew close. Actually I surprised myself with how much I was looking forward to it. It was spring, which is my favourite season. The weather can be unpredictable but when it's good, it's really good - not too hot, not too cold, but just right (as Goldilocks said).
Finally the day of the seminar came around. I dressed comfortably for the three-hour drive. It was a lovely day, which boded well for the week. I arrived at about 5pm, registered, found my room, and went back for a light dinner. One thing that surprised me was that I would be sharing. There were two double beds in the room. I wondered how that would go.
I looked around the dining room and saw about fifty women, all much the same age as me. As I settled into my meal, a late arrival sat down next to me. "Jen, what a lovely surprise. I didn't think I'd know anyone but here you are."
I looked around and saw a woman who used to work for my husband. In fact she was the receptionist, and a damn good one. "Louise, hello, fancy seeing you here. How are you?"
Louise was, quite simple, stunning. She was always impeccably made up and tonight was no exception. Her eyes stood out because she put so much time into her eye make-up. The dark eyeliner and mascara seemed a perfect way to bring out her beautiful blue eyes. Her lips looked quite seductive and her smile only enhanced that.
Her body was almost perfect too. Thin, almost too thin, but with a nice bust, which I thought was about a 32C (almost the same as me, I was a 36C). Her legs went on for miles and all the way up to her bum. I thought idly, "I would go gay for her, easily."
We caught each other up on the gossip. It had been about five years since she worked for my husband. She and her husband moved away for his job. She confided in me that she wasn't particularly happy in her new city. She hadn't found a job and her kids had all moved out too.
I talked to her about my frustrations as well and we decided to make the most out of this week and try and participate fully. We chatted some more about how things were, our kids, and life in general. I was feeling really comfortable with Lou, and told her so.
"I don't know why but I'm really glad you're here, Lou. It'll be nice to have a familiar face around this week."
"Ohh, thanks, Jen. It's so good to see you again. I think we'll have a fun week."
We had 30 minutes between the end of the meal until the first session that night. I found out that I was sharing with Lou. That was an unexpected bonus. I showed her to our room and we both freshened up in readiness for the evening lecture.
We sat down in a seminar room near the dining room. It had been set up in typical fashion and would be where we were going to spend most of the week.
"Ladies, welcome," said a beautiful woman at the front of the room into the microphone, "to the first, hopefully annual, seminar on 'Spirituality, Sexuality and the Modern Woman. My name is Dr Susan Rochester and I will be leading the seminar this week."
There was a smattering of applause.
"Masturbation," she said. "We all have done it and the latest studies show that it is necessary for the sake of our mental health.
I blanched, embarrassed. I hadn't masturbated for years. In fact, I hadn't orgasmed for years. I was a little worried as to where this would take us.
"Most of you don't know each other. In a way this will be a good thing because you will be able to say and do things without worrying about what people might think because you probably won't see each other ever again."
Embarrassed giggles and a smattering of applause. Dr Rochester spoke about how healthy masturbation was and how important it was for our well being, especially as we aged. She spoke well and her voice was very easy to listen to.
She left us with homework, though. She said that we should go back to our rooms and watch each other masturbate. I looked at Lou in wide-mouthed wonder. Dr Rochester had also spoken a lot about the sense of touch and how important it was to our sexuality. "When, or if, you feel comfortable, I would like you to support each other while masturbating through touch. I'll leave it up to you as to how you work this out in your rooms. Good night ladies, and sweet dreams."
Lou and I looked at each other as if in a daze. We seemed to arrive at our room without having travelled there, went inside and sat down silently with our own thoughts.
Finally, Louise said, "what are you thinking, Jen?"
"I haven't masturbated for years," I replied.
"Me neither."
"Should we, could we?" I asked.
"I don't know. And what about the touching?"
"That's probably easier, but while we masturbate? I don't know."
"Lets just sit next to each other on the bed and hold hands," Lou suggested.
"OK"
So we moved onto one of the beds and held hands. We didn't say anything for a while but it was nice. She said, "How are you feeling about what the doctor said?"
